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NicoleAnn
Devoted July 2016

Bestman wants to propose at my wedding

NicoleAnn, on March 3, 2016 at 5:56 PM Posted in Planning 0 173

The best man (grooms uncle) who I have only meant once just called my FH to ask him about the wedding and to ask a favor. He is flying his girlfriend up for the weekend to come to our wedding and wants to propose to her at my wedding. His idea is to have me throw my bouquet at her, then he will propose. My FH told him he didnt see an issue with it but he needed to ask me. I personally do have an issue with it. There is no way to guaratee that she is going to be the one to win the bouqet toss and also I feel like its imposing on our special day. What are your thoughts and how would you respond this sitution?

173 Comments

Latest activity by Rachel DellaPorte, on March 12, 2016 at 3:27 PM
  • LoveInDC
    Master November 2016
    LoveInDC ·
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    Yeah.... I wouldn't be happy about that either. Not sure how to respond, but you're not out of line to be rubbed the wrong way by this.

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  • Carly
    VIP April 2016
    Carly ·
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    My thoughts are NOPE.

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  • Jeanne
    Master August 2015
    Jeanne ·
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    Nope nope nopity nope. He can do it at any other point in the weekend.

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  • Heather
    Devoted October 2016
    Heather ·
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    Um no

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  • Lady App
    Savvy November 2016
    Lady App ·
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    Personally, no way! Get your own day.

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  • Heather
    Devoted October 2016
    Heather ·
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    In all honesty, I've seen the videos of this and I think they're adorable but I find it incredibly rude

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  • Stacy
    Dedicated April 2016
    Stacy ·
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    No. What. WHY? I don't understand why people feel the need to take the attention away from the bride and groom on their ONE DAY! If he really wants to propose, tell him to take his girlfriend for a walk around the venue the night of, have a nice secluded area set up and all romantic like, and do it there. If it were me, I would just respond with, "My fiance and I just want to have this one day. We would be happy to help you set up plans to propose after the wedding!"

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  • Princess Consuela
    Master November 2015
    Princess Consuela ·
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    No freaking way!

    Your FH has kind of put you in a tough spot by telling his uncle it'd probably be fine, but I definitely wouldn't be okay with this. I'd just tell his uncle that his girlfriend will probably want her own day, rather than getting proposed to at someone else's wedding.

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  • So.Many.Questions
    Expert September 2016
    So.Many.Questions ·
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    He saw that on that YouTube video. I dont really think that's appropriate, you get ONE day and i don't think it's selfish for you to not want to share that. Couldn't he do it after the wedding is over? Still romantic.

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  • kelly
    Super June 2017
    kelly ·
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    I feel like our wedding day is one day for it to be all about the two of us. Not someone I've never met before. I'm just never the center of attention and I feel like that's our one day to be and wouldn't want to share it. Maybe I'm selfish but that's how I feel.

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  • Mrs.Frizz
    VIP October 2016
    Mrs.Frizz ·
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    For whatever reason this doesn't bother me?? I'm not sure how to make the bouquet toss work other than telling all the other girls...but a proposal at my wedding isn't something I'd be upset about? That's just me though.

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  • LCya
    VIP September 2016
    LCya ·
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    Noooo omg just no...

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  • JoRocka
    Master September 2016
    JoRocka ·
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    ....


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  • DJ
    VIP May 2016
    DJ ·
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    I actually was going to hint to a friend of mine that our wedding destination would be a beautiful place to propose! I totally wouldn't have a problem with it, but I'd want to be in on the surprise. I think I'd be angry if I had no clue it was happening, but if I knew, I'd be all for it. Especially, if they want to do it during the bouquet toss, that's later in the evening anyways. I guess, I personally wouldn't mind, but I could understand why it would bother you, and think it's perfectly okay for you to have FH tell his uncle that you don't feel comfortable with the idea. I think it's a little crappy that FH put the onus on you by saying he had no issue with it, but at this point, there's no taking that back.

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  • LadyMonk
    Master September 2014
    LadyMonk ·
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    This has come up before and the general consensus is to not allow this especially if you're not totally ok with it. It's nice that he asked, but on the other hand I would still say no. Your wedding is YOUR wedding and not really his place to do that. I mean we sang happy birthday to a cousin at my wedding but it was midnight and not many people were around anymore -- plus it was just a birthday!

    Since he's on your FH's side, have you FH tell him that it isn't really appropriate and encourage him to find a different way to propose. Some people (including me) would have been horrified with a public proposal. Also, what if she says no.

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  • Jersey
    Master November 2016
    Jersey ·
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    Are you having a bouquet toss? I'm not even having one so my quick answer would be like nope, no bouquet toss, can't fit this into our night.

    I would tell him that you have a beautiful venue and he's more than welcome to take advantage of it, but you would rather not stop the flow of the evening for this.

    I just want to say that I would be PISSED if FH proposed to me at someone else's wedding. WTH!

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  • FutureLivi
    VIP June 2017
    FutureLivi ·
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    Nope. If you're not okay with it, don't compromise. Nicely explain you don't want to have to worry about that on a day you put so much time, effort, and money into. Say you'd be happy to help anyway you can, but that you'd like your day to focus on you and your future husband.

    It's beyond me how people think this is okay.

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  • MrsA
    Master October 2015
    MrsA ·
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    I would not have done this at my wedding.

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  • Becoming a Mrs
    Master July 2016
    Becoming a Mrs ·
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    No way! That's your day!

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  • soontobeMRS
    Dedicated October 2016
    soontobeMRS ·
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    Like many others said, your wedding is YOUR wedding. I would encourage another option and your wedding is not a venue for another proposal.

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