Bachelorette/Bachelor Party!!

We aren't doing anything like strippers or a weekend getaway lol

My favorite movie ever is the Wizard of Oz, so we're kicking off the day by going to see that. I have no idea what the rest of the day holds but I know it's going to be fun/low-key. My sister is a bridesmaid and I wanted her to be there 100% of the time and she's only 14, so I know we won't be getting too crazy. Maybe a lingerie party...I really have no idea...you could do a spa day, shopping, dinner at a fancy restaurant/lounge??

Also, FH's brothers don't like to party and his guys are doing paintballing during the day, dinner in the city at night, and then whoever would like to go to the bars in downtown Chicago after dinner is welcome to and they're staying at a friend's apartment in the city.

We have a mutual "no strippers" clause.

I couldn't agree with you more. I think the whole stripper thing is disgusting, in my opinion. But, I'm old school. You could do a spa day, then have a nice dinner afterwards. You could do food/wine tastings, go to a bar/dancing with the girls. Some women look for like 80s clubs and go all out and dress up in 80s attire and have a fun girls night out. There's a ton of things you can do.

I think FH should have a bit of say in his bachelor party and same goes for a bride as well. I told my girls I didn't want strippers either and FH doesn't want them either. He actually just wants to stay home have a few buddies over with drinking and hanging. I have 2 girls (one being my MOH) who are both under 21 and will be by the time the bachelorette party should happen. I already told MOH since she wants to plan the entire thing I don't want the crazy bar hopping, black out wasted type bachelorette party. A couple of the girls thought we should go downtown (Baltimore, Maryland) and get a really nice hotel room, go out to a really nice restaurant, have a few drinks and then go back to the hotel and just do whatever from there. It's not as simple as everyone thinks. 3 girls have kids, one works & is in school full time, 2 don't currently work so money is a bit tight for them and 1 always works on the weekends...

You can make it a spa day, dinner, go to a nice lounge!

Oh, and my FH is doing the same thing as FutureMrs.W's FH. He's probably going paintballing and then to dinner or a bar afterwards. My FH is more like a kid and would even love something as simple as going to Dave n Busters. He hates the whole stripper thing even more than I do lol.

We are doing a bachelor/ette party, is a joint one! The ladies will do a spa day during the day and the spa actually comes to ur home! The FH is doing fishing or whatever and then around 7 we will all meet up for dinner and drinks somewhere.

I was so scared to post the 'I hate strippers for me and my FH' statement. I saw on another forum where "if you didn't want your FH to have strippers then you don't trust him and are insecure and need premarital counseling blah blah blah." im glad to see others feel the same way I do.

the wine tasting/spa sounds like a PERFECT idea to me. I love wine and being pampered!!! being completely relaxed then maybe going to a bar sounds perfect.

paintballing was something my FH suggested that he wanted to do but im just worried his friends will try and sneak a half naked chick in there somewhere. I trust him with everything I have but im afraid he wont stand up to his friends and say no since that's not what he wants.

I'm not into bar hopping, strippers, etc. I've thrown out the idea of doing a painting class with my BMs. We have these classes here that you can bring snacks, wine, etc. and they guide you through painting a picture! We also discussed going zip lining.

My MOH also threw a slumber party for her sister's bachelorette party. They drank, watched movies, gossiped.. kinda like in high school.. I missed it because I was out of town getting engaged.

I'm opposed to FH going to a strip club but I'm pretty sure our BM will try to drag him there anyway. It would be just the two of them since our other groomsman is against them and FH's brother will not be of age. FH knows that I'm against it but then again, if he wants to go.. I won't stop him (He's never been to one.) I won't beat him up about going either. I trust my FH and know he won't do anything completely stupid. I just don't want him to lie to me about what he does and where they go.

Tiffany I totally agree with you 110% I trust my fh to the ends of the earth and back....but his GM are a totally different story. My older sister is hosting my party and I know that she will respect my wishes of no half naked men. I went to my sisters Bachelorette party and it was horrible. Stupid drunk girls that got lost in Seattle and ended up calling the men to rescue her. I think no matter what you do you need to think about how you other half is going to feel knowing that's what your doing and respect their wishes. Relationships are about compromise and if you cant even respect their wishes one night give it is likely one of your last haraws before getting married their is some issues.

Sara T. I love that idea of a slumber party. We were thinking of doing mine like two days before the wedding on a Tuesday so places wont be so crowded and we can get our nails and toes done just in time for the big day.

Tiffany, I'm with you on this 100%, I don't like strippers either and neither does my FH.

@Lynzey, LOL I have the same issue when I think of strippers, the sweat and rubbing on me...just thinking of it makes me gag lol

Being a control freak that I am (not ashamed, not in denial, I know I am lol), I started the planning of my bachelorette. I asked all the girls to see if they were into the idea of a weekend cruise and they were all excited. They think I thought of such a fun idea, but what they don't know is that I knew that a cruise will be a more CONTROLLED environment and a ZERO possibility of a stripper lol I knew if I left it up to them, my cousins will for sure have a stripper even though they know how much I hate it lol

My FH is having some difficulty with this issue too because most of his GMs and friends want to do a strip joint and he doesn't like it. I've told him and the GMs that I don't have a problem with it, but he's the one that doesn't like it. We'll see how it goes

Yep I'm one too. IDC what anyone says, I'm controlling, putting rules on him, blah blah blah. I trust FH but I've been scarred by past issues & believe that it's about respecting my boundaries. FH knows damn well it would hurt me & I trust he wouldnt do that to me. His friends opinions are the opposite, & last year they tried to tell me FH is gonna have strippers no matter what I say. Well they were half laughing, so IDK if they're serious. But IMO if they really do try to take him to clubs, they arent friends at all, friends dont purposely ruin friends relationships. FH knows exactly how I feel on the subject, & I trust that he will put his foot down if they get serious about it.

As for what FH wants, he's a gamer, he wants one big gaming party, maybe paintballing. Me, a night at home drinking watching chich flicks with my ladies.

I just recently hosted a Bachelorette Party at a winery. We actually lucked out because there was a grape stomping festival. We made a day out of it and then had a nice dinner. It was great! Now I wonder what my girls will do for me lol

@Masquerade Bride, my FH is just like yours...his friends, including my guy cousins and brother think he's lame for wanting to have a night at home with two large TV's with two game (Xbox or whatever it is they play lol) and have a Madden tournament while having guy movies play all night long (Godfather, Goodfellas, etc.)

I laugh when he tells the guys what he wants because they think he says it because I'm in front, but I tell them "Hey, I don't really want to know what you guys do...I do trust FH and know that he wouldn't do anything that disrespects me." But he really is the one that is adamant about no strippers THANK GOD! lol

My sister turned her nose up at the idea that me or my fiance would go to a strip club.

7 years later, she still believes that her husband played pool with a bunch of his friends for his bachelor party. I think he's just smart enough not to say anything b/c she would FLIP out. Just sayin...

Edit to add: I don't think it's a big deal to not want to go to a strip club, but I think if you are sooo strongly against it, some guys just may not tell you I don't think I've ever met a guy who "hates" strip clubs, at worst they may say they just don't care about them. For me I don't really care, but I'd at the very least want to know about it.

I feel as you ... my Fiancee is not into strippers neither am I. We found out that a party is being planned for us both. The idea is for everyone who's invited to the wedding get an opportunity to get to know each other and the reasons why they are so special in our lives. I thought that is absolutely beautiful. We still don't know where it's to be held at but I think the thought of someone caring to do this for us as this, is fantastic...We're older in our 40's and we are past the "parties" that people are so used to by now. Trust your heart and read the feed the backs you have been given.

All the best to you :-)

Christina: I would love to know what your "just sayin" really means. To me, it sounds like you're implying all of us who are against strip clubs, our men tell us they dont care, or dont want to go but they're really lying...

I'm sorry that your sister is married to someone that lied to her about his bachelor events, if she ever finds out I'm sure she will flip out, knowing she's been married to a lying ass. But that doesnt mean all of our FH saying they wont go, means they really will & just lie. Some men out there are actually good & care about our feelings, dont want to hurt us, & wont go for the sake of the relationship.

No not all of you, just some of you. I just don't believe that ALL these guys hate strip clubs. Agree with Amy V. Sorry I probably shouldn't say it in a post about hating strip clubs, but it's hard to hear so many women saying that their fiances all hate strip clubs. I guess I just feel like it's optimistic?

I'm seriously not trying to be offensive, I just think it's good to be aware of the very possible fact that your fiance MAY be not be 100% truthful when he says how much he hates seeing naked women dancing.

And for the record, I have no idea if my brother-in-law actually went to a strip club or he played pool for his bachelor party. Just speculating. Only he and his friends know what happened that night.

Oh you & Amy are right I think, I'm sure alot or maybe most of men do actually want to go or like it, but wont say it for fear of hurting us. I know my FH used to be interested, I know he could be again if I was ok with it. He says he's not interested for my sake, regardless.

What I dont agree with is even your statement saying they may not being 100% truthful knowing that we hate it. Ok so there's some men out there that will lie about their party events. But to place that doubt in our heads by "just saying" or giving that advance warning that it could be a possible fact, is kinda offensive IMO.

Personally, I dont think my hate for strip clubs will hinder FH from telling me the truth. In fact, I think knowing it will hurt me, enhances his reasoning to respect me & not go at all, so there's nothing to lie about

My apologies, no offense intended! Anyway honestly a lot of the parties listed sound fun, especially the slumber parties. Maybe I'm also being a little defensive b/c my group is going to a Thunder Down Under in Las Vegas and my sister is being a little annoying about it.

Ha sorry to Tiffany for hijacking the thread!

Well that's different lol & in that situation I think you have cause to be defensive. It's your party & if that's whats accepted between your FH & you, have at it! It's not your sister's upcoming marriage, it's not your sister's party, it's yours. In that situation, what her views on it may be, should not interrupt your plans.