Bachelor party shenanigans?

Nope, I wasn't okay with it, but it happened anyway. DH mentioned that it was "just the plan everyone else came up with, so I went along with it to not look like a little b****."

I did say that I'd MUCH prefer they go to a strip club than to have a private dancer at someone's house/apartment. Private dancers are a TOTALLY different story, and I heard horror stories from a Bachelor Party my DH attended (at the time we were just dating) at someone's house with a dancer, and it was absolutely disgusting. I still have to hear about it from time to time.

I also stated that NO STRIPPERS were to ever set foot in the house DH and I share together, so most of those conditions were met.

DH did get a lap dance which he told me about later, and I had my time to be upset about it. I don't care if they're getting paid, personally. They're touching him and I wasn't cool with that. I basically said, "I hope it's out of your system." LOL.

I'm positive there are some women who really don't give an eff if their significant other does go to a strip club. won't even make them bat an eye.

i'm positive there are some women who don't want their significant other to go to a strip club but they don't want to say anything or they want to look like the cool gf/wife.

and i'm positive their are some women who don't believe that is somewhere that their significant other should be & they will voice that opinion.

everyone's different so the people who don't care aren't wrong and the people who do care aren't wrong. it's an opinion on the topic. i'm just saying some people come across like they're better and/or proud of themselves for not caring if they go. that's all.

I don't think it have anything to do with trying to be cool. People just have a difference of opinion. I'm in the same boat as (MrsMoralesToBe) it would be the pot calling kettle black. Because I know full well my MOH better have strippers at my bach. party. And not just any ole strippers.

Ally, I think there are two different ways of seeing that. I find it strange when women are freak out about their man and other women not touching what belongs to them (not sure who posted it originally and I don't care to go back and find it) - but I get that as a culture we reward jealous behavior.

All I'm saying is the OP should probably figure out how to say she doesn't want him to go with a little more respect than what some ladies have suggested that amounts to a tantrum.

I don't like strip clubs because I find them degrading. Whether it's women or men dancing up there, doesn't matter. I don't like to objectify other human beings.

But that's me and why I don't go to strip clubs. I recognize other people are cool with it and that the dancers are doing it to make money. FH knows how I feel about strip clubs and he doesn't really like them anyway. If he ended up at one, whether for his bachelor party or something else, I wouldn't be mad. I'd never dream of telling FH he can't do something he would otherwise want to do. It's his choice and his prerogative.

I don't know what kind of strip club some of your FHs are going to, but you can't touch the girls; unless their taking a trip to the Champagne Room.

I have zero problem with FH going a strip club. I know he's coming home to me.

Lol I love how everyone thinks that I'm specifically calling them out for trying to be cool. I'm not. I don't care if people let their husband go to strip clubs, go with them, don't want them to go...whatever. It does mean a lot to me though that my husband does not...I don't want him drooling all over other women. I don't even want him in the position to do that and I would be really mad if he went against that and went anyways because it's about respect and I think that me not wanting him to go to a strip club isn't just something that's not a big deal. There's a difference between "I don't want you to hang out with your friends" and throwing a tantrum over it. Then yeah maybe the FH/husband should think about being with that person. I think a strip club is a whole different thing.

If your FH or husband is lucky enough that you would let him go or that you would even go with him, then great! he's a lucky guy. but i think that it's a really important topic for some women and if it means that much to them that their husband don't go then I think the husband should respect that.

I posted that it would bother me to have another woman grind on what's mine LOL cause I find it gross that after she grinded on 52 other men she then hops on my man....and guess who was stuck washing those pants comes laundry day?? Me! LOL...

Sticking to the original question, nope, I don't care. DH isn't a huge fan but he's gone both for other bach parties as well as his own (they WERE in New Orleans--I fully expected it!). I've never cared and I never will. Hell, I'm picking him up from a bach party next wkd and I'm pretty sure a strip club is part of the plan, He's not going to leave me or cheat on me with a professional so why deny him hanging out with his friends?

OMG, here we go with this shit storm again. I don't like it and never have. Glad my FH feels the same way. I don't date guys that go to strip clubs. I said that when I posted this shit storm of a post early last year and I stick by it today. And it's not insecurity either. It's just disrespectful to everyone involved. Not my cup of tea.

Lori: These women (and men) choose to dance/entertain. Just like people choose to be porn stars, doctors, or astronauts. If that's their choice, than why do you find it degrading? Not being rude, just asking a question. If someone was forcing them up there or.had sold them into some kind of stripper slavery, then I could understand that. For the most part, they enjoy doing what they do. Every stripper is not a hoe. I honestly don't see a lap dance as any different than a chick grinding on a dude in a club. Also, every man is not attracted to/turned on by/interested in every pair of tits and ass that walks by. They have preferences. So it is possible that a man can go to a strip club, see a naked chick dancing, and not even be remotely aroused. Just something to think about.

Well gee whiz....it's only been what? A good 3 months since we've gone down this shit tunnel.

OP: Just have an honest and upfront discussion with your FH and go from there. It truly doesn't matter what other ladies' opinions of this is because in the end, the two of you need to have this discussion and decide what is best for YOUR relationship. Good luck and all my best to you both.

I had not a moment's worry-- DH and his buddies are all reliable, faithful types. Besides, what you can see at a strip show is little more than what you can see in an R rated movie these days. I'm sure there are guys who get a little carried away, but I wouldn't marry one of those, so.... back to my orginal answer.

I gave the OP another option which could be a compromise for her and her FH. I think a burlesque show could be a happy medium.

Luckily we both share the same opinion on strip clubs so I don't have to worry about it. He is actually a big fat nerd and wants to play D&D for his, which I have no problem with at all haha

Julia - Yes, I know how it is here. Maybe I've just become desensitized to it. If my FH was going out every weekend to one, that wouldn't sit well with me, but for a bachelor party? Whatever. I just call it picking my battles.

Ally - I am glad you are so secure in your view point. No need to look down on anyone else - directly or indirectly. I'm the queen of passive aggressiveness and am also really good at spotting it. lol.

I used to be a stripper so no. It doesn't bother me. I'm totally kidding. I was never a stripper. I was a burlesque dancer. Same thing minus the grinding on people lol. Seriously though. I know a bunch of strippers. Most of them see $$$$. Not faces. Oh and God forbid some guy lay a finger on them. He'd be thrown out faster than you could blink an eye.

@Alexis, this thread was boring me to sleep until I read your comment. I'm intrigued... tell me more about your former life!

To answer the post:

1. I could care less what shenanigans occur, as long as everyone stays safe. No drunk driving, no STDs and hopefully everyone has a full set of teeth when they return. Strippers are fine, whatever.

2. Odds are I'll end up in way more trouble than the boys. Yeah.. we are def pretty wild when we drink

3. Ew, I would fucking die if someone got or suggested male strippers for me. No.

Dwilson.. I totally understand & agree where your coming from!!! Some of the things these ladies said were really mean & hurtful, they did that to me also! I was offended & hurt by what they said. Do what YOU think is right.. Your man should of already told his friends no for the Strip Joint.

No problem. From the first discussion he said he expects me to have a male stripper at my Bachelorette party (not sure if it'll happen because of our location but whatever). I trust him, he trusts me.