Asking bridesmaids to wear flats instead of heels? Bridesmaid freaked out!

No offense, but it's a little bridezilla-ish to make them all wear flats so you don't look too short. It's kind of like putting them all in ugly dresses so they don't "out-shine" the bride.

I'm gonna stay out of this one, LOL!

I asked my girls to wear strappy sandal heels in a metallic color. Asking for a general shoe is not outlandish, in fact my girls came to me looking for guidance. (The dresses were short, if that makes a difference.)

They were all fine with this. Buying the outfit (which they are off the hook for) wearing whatever else the bride asks, and standing up is really the ONE thing a bridesmaid "has" to do. The bachelorette, shower is all nice if they do - but not a "has to." Sometimes shoes "make the look" - someone's wedding recently had short black cocktail dresses and bright red shoes, it was adorable!

Yes, you could (and maybe should) be gracious and allow them to wear a small heel if they'll be happier. But, between balance issue, sinking in grass, and the height thing, its a reasonable request. If it's important to you, I would try to explain your position to your friends, hopefully they will hear you.

I would be elated if I was asked to wear flats as a bridesmaid!

I'd say if they really make a big stink of it, it's not worth the fight, but personally I don't think you're in the wrong.

I agree with your bridesmaid and I think you should go apologize to them for trying to force them to wear something because of your insecurities.

I kind of view it as the same thing as a bride asking her bridesmaids to wear cowboy boots or black sandals. You aren't demanding they were a specific pair of flats you're just requesting that they are flats. I don't see that as being demanding or bridezilla-ish at all. I would just let them know to pick whatever flats they want. I wouldn't have told them it's because you don't want to feel short though.

The last wedding I was in, I had to wear really uncomfortable flats from Payless, but I did because that's what the bride picked. Wedding before that, I wore black pumps because that's what the bride wanted. Isn't wearing what the bride wants and showing up the only real responsibility of the wedding party?

I'm a BM in a wedding where the bride picked out the specific shoes we had to buy, they are flats, and not super comfortable but its her day, and I am happy to support her. I think you are fine just asking for a generic flat.

Not worth a fight.

What allysia said.

As a BM, I would have no problems with this. I don't think it's asking too much, but if they are really upset about it, you may just want to let it go.

This doesn't seem worth the argument. If they want to wear heels, let them.

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with this...

I never really thought that revealing my insecurities was being rude. I also thought flats or even sandals would be more comfortable for them since they are kicking off their heels anyway. I don't want to make my friends uncomfortable but at the same shouldn't they be thinking the same about me? I let them pick their dresses for the most part. I decided floor length, fabric, and color. They got to pick straps/strapless and style of dress.

I asked my bridesmaids to wear flats. It just makes sense to me since we are outside, and also because we are taking pictures at a mountain. But at the end of the day, if they want to wear heels, what does it matter? Your dresses are long anyway, and they are going to be the same height no matter what, a few inches doesn't matter.

I don't see anything wrong with you asking them to wear flats. It's like a bride asking you to buy the same dress and the same silver shoes. It happens all the time. I think though if your BMs are really that put off by you requesting they wear flats, just let them wear a heel but also warn them that it might be uncomfortable wearing heels for the whole day.

As for her comment on wearing heels makes her legs look longer... it is a long dress... you can't see legs, moot point...

Honestly that is not a lot to ask at all. I was told for one wedding the Bride told us to by a $150 dress and we have to by zombie heels $75 and then she canceled the wedding. (then she planned another wedding and picked out a $250 dress and 2 months before the wedding canceled again.

Asking the BMs to wear any kind of flat is actually a nice thought. You can always compromise, have them wear the flats for pictures and the ceremony and they they can do what they want. Seriously they are there for you!

Reasons to specify shoes

comfort - legit reason

color matches overall wedding theme - legit reason

I feel short - not a legit reason

If I'm feeling fat can I then ask my BM's to wear potato sacks so I feel more comfortable?

What if I'm not feeling my hair can I ask them to wear hats?

Your bridesmaids don't want to wear flats,if they did cool but they don't and IMO it is not right to force them to do so, so you can feel taller.

I don't think you are asking too much. I asked my bridesmaids to wear black shoes...it's pretty much the same thing. As a compromise, I would ask them to wear flats for the ceremony/pictures and then let them change into something else for the reception.