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Devoted October 2016

Asking bridesmaids to wear flats instead of heels? Bridesmaid freaked out!

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Anna =), on September 9, 2015 at 4:17 PM

I am paying for my bridesmaids dresses (Floor Length $150 each). I gave the girls the OPTION to pay for themselves to get their hair & make-up done and stay at the hotel. By no means am I requiring them to do this. They are however in charge of their own alterations. I've asked them to wear is flats because all of them are about 6 inches taller than me. I will be wearing shorter heels but I don't want all of them wearing heels and still towering over me. I told them they can wear whatever kind they feel comfortable in. They could be $10 for all I care. I have 2 bridesmaids that are pretty peeved that I am telling them what type of shoe to wear. One told me its an insult that I am not letting her wear heels just cuz I'll feel short. That it isn't really her problem. She said her legs look slimmer wearing heels... its a long dress. What do I do?

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85 Comments

Expert October 2016
Kiss_the_brides · on September 10, 2015 at 11:45 PM
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I think your request is pretty reasonable! Every time I've been in a wedding I was pretty much ordered to wear 1 specific shoe. My FW was forced to wear a size too small since the shoe she picked didn't go up to 11! And it was a floor length dress! I'd just tell them it's flats or barefoot and just move right along. It's not about how their legs look it's about being there for someone they love.
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Expert August 2015
Blaine · on September 11, 2015 at 6:24 AM
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I asked my bridesmaids to wear nude heels.
I don't think you're being unreasonable at all, and your bridesmaid should be more accommodating. I agree with someone who commented already, buy her a pair of flip flops or fast flats to wear for the formal pictures and let her wear her heels the rest of the night so her hidden legs can look sexy.
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VIP June 2016
FutureMrs.G · on September 11, 2015 at 9:13 AM
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I don't think this is being unreasonable. I agree with some of the other posts on here saying that, as a compromise, you should allow your bridesmaids to change into shoes they want for the reception.
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Master August 2016
OGSue · on September 11, 2015 at 9:23 AM
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What's unfortunate is that you stated your reasoning for the flats, if you hadn't then this would be no different than any other bride making a clothing request to her BP and you probably would not have an upset BP. But I do think that the suggestion of asking that they wear flats for the ceremony and the pictures and then stating that they can wear whatever shoe they want to the reception is a reasonable compromise at this point.

Chances are they will all be in flats by the end of the reception.
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Savvy June 2016
Annemarie · on September 11, 2015 at 12:03 PM
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Bottom line... its YOUR day. There are other brides out there that make their bridesmaids buy a certain shoe. To me... it's worth the argument. You should feel the best on YOUR day, and if that happens to be making your BMs wear flats- do it.
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