Are we in the wrong?

Are there a number of overlapping guests who would have to travel to attend the weddings? Given the groom's are both brothers, I imagine there will be a significant amount of overlap, and if there are guests who have to travel from out of town, they may have to choose whose wedding to go to (for instance, it wouldn't be feasible for me to travel cross country for 2 separate weddings two weeks apart).

View Quoted Comment No one is coming out of town that I know that would be attending both

You’re not wrong. They have their day & you have yours. They don’t own the days before or after their wedding.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! We obviously can work around bridal showers and bachelorette parties, but the hype is literally the day of not the whole time frame of planning!

View Quoted Comment In that case, I don't think it's really an issue to have the 2 weddings 2 weeks apart.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. Travel would be the only issue here and it sounds like guests are only going to one or the other anyway. His brother and fiancé don't get the whole month/year to themselves.

There’s nothing inherently ”wrong” with you choosing a date 2 weeks before theirs, but I think in a lot of circles it’s just an unspoken courtesy to not schedule weddings close to those of family and friends. I know that is definitely the case where I am from.

View Quoted Comment I agree with your comment. I don’t think it’s necessarily “wrong” but I personally wouldn’t schedule my day that close to anyone else’s. Especially if there is a chance that the same guests were attending. So I wouldn’t, it’s kinda just an unspoken courtesy

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. You only get one day for your wedding… but… 2 weeks is very close especially for siblings. I would not personally do this but technically you’re not “breaking any rules”.

Obviously if the venue had another date available in October we would have went with that but because they didn’t we went with the 28th, and we’re not going to push the wedding back another year because of them. You get one day for your wedding, not a whole year or 2 weeks. When it comes to be they’re wedding day it’s still going to be about them.

Two weeks is a bit close. It definitely would be an issue in my family, but I guess it depends on how you look at it. I do think it will blow over because it's not that serious and they are both such happy events, but they will probably be upset for bit. It's worse for the guests honestly, gifts for two weddings in one month can be a bit tight on the budget.

I don’t think you and your fiancé are in the wrong and I also don’t think your FH’s brother and fiancé are upset to share the attention. If it were me I would be concerned about the stress it now puts on guests and whether this would decrease the number of guests in attendance due to travel and added expense so close together. 2 weeks in between for out of town guests can be hard and I can absolutely see them having to be in the difficult situation of picking and choosing whose wedding to attend due to not being able to get two back to back weekends off or coming up with the money to travel twice, or simply not wanting to travel out twice back to back. It would suck for this to happen but it is very understandable for guests. I also think of the possible strain it could cause between brothers if say a grand parent could only attend one of the two weddings due to financial reasons or issues of travel. The sibling whose wedding was missed could feel very hurt. Best case scenario all guests can attend both weddings or at least the ones both couples absolutely can not get married without.

View Quoted Comment There are no guests that are traveling from out of town for either wedding so that isn’t an issue thankfully. So no one has to worry about expenses due to traveling at least

View Quoted Comment Oh perfect! Then there shouldn’t be any issues if everyone is local and weddings are on weekends so no one has to take back to back times off work. You can work out a bridal shower schedule with your soon to be sister in law so guest lists don’t clash and you both have your own days. All should be fine. Good luck!

I think it would have been best to ask them first how they felt being it was so close to their date and it’s first in the line up of your Weddings so they may feel like they need to share the limelight now. Maybe they feel you both were insensitive by booking yours so close? This same situation happened with a friend who’s sister jumped in front of her date that had already been set for 8 months. She was upset because she felt her sister was purposely stealing her limelight and wanted to have her Wedding first for selfish reasons. This doesn’t seem it’s the case with your situation but it could be their viewpoint.

View Quoted Comment I get that and didn’t think of it that possible be how they felt. I should have thought of that because my fiancé felt like our “limelight” was taken away when his brother proposes after him and then everything started to be about his brother and future sister in law

My friend is dealing with this. I think it's selfish for any bride to decide that weddings are too close together unless they are on the same day. You have your wedding when you want. Don't let other people try to make that decision for you. Her u happiness or frustration to the situation is hers, and hers alone

It's tough because I sort of see where they are coming from and just because of all the planning and meeting and gathering etc including wedding party related events that would be so closely packed especially if you share same potential guest overlapping. Which could mean some overlapping friend/family may not be at both potentially due to travel costs/family/work etc.

Hopefully there are no other deeply routed issues that are surfacing as result of these decisions.

My only fear if proceeding with venue in that month so close to their wedding that the pettiness and/or quarreling that may or may not be present will place sour notes on your special days placing mutual family in an awkward place.

Hopefully, you guys can maybe talk it out together and see where each other is coming from and figure out a solution or at the vary latest a mutual respect of what direction you guys are sticking with and why.

In any case good luck and hopefully you guys can choose your battles as you soon will be family officially speaking.

If you were both planning at the same time and this was an unfortunate coincidence, then no you wouldn’t be wrong. However, you had a date (which they may have purposefully planned around) and changed it after theirs was finalized. It looks like you intentionally upstaged them. And honestly your family will probably think the same thing, even if they don’t say it to you. Unless one of the reasons for changing is much more legitimate than preferring another season, I think you should do the considerate thing and find another date. You only get one day, but they will be your family for life

My soon to be sister in law is getting married two weeks after us and it has not been an issue at all. It's actually nice going through the process with someone else and since we're both in each others wedding, it's been a fun year full of showers and parties. Hope it all works out!