Alcohol at the reception

I've seen it at company Christmas parties and at a few weddings. Granted, it is usually "that" cousin or aunt/uncle that no one likes out of 150, people...but it is no less embarrassing for the host or guests.

Thought, at one Christmas party, it was the host's wife that got s-faced wasted. Never seen anything like it.

If you really want an open bar (I came up with this genius idea last night) slowly start buying alcohol and save it all up for your bar!

@Breanna- most places do not let you bring your own alcohol into the venue. This is only good advice if you can bring in your own alcohol, which is what I assume most people do when this is an option.

I think the switcharoo is confusing if anything else.

I do understand that even just "beer/wine" can get pricey.

What we are doing is:

Signature drinks (hosted) during cocktail hour as well as wine....we purchased all wine

During dinner, there will be a cash bar and served wine ( I don't think wine on tables is a good idea, you will end up with 10 1/2 bottles and some not touched wines).

I do not care if you think its "tacky" that we are having a cash bar, we bought $600 worth of wine for everyone to enjoy, plus giving them a signature drink during cocktail hour... if they so NEED a vodka tonic they can pay up....otherwise there's wine...... not budging on this, and no I personally do NOT think its rude, our venue actually suggested the cash bar as well. (as its getting more common than people "think")

I'm a recent college grad and both FH and I picked up part time work for the sole reason that we want a four hour, top shelf, open bar. I work 80 hour weeks sometimes to make it happen, so it really is all about priorities. My guess is 80 people would be less than 1,200 as well. You obviously picked a date and venue knowing how much you would have saved and what you can afford, and alcohol wasn't on your list of priorities. Sorry for the bluntness, and I'm not here to judge whatever you decide to do, just to say that @emily wasn't being a bitch and that I don't understand what you're asking because you are quite clear you can only afford 2 drinks per person (80 people, 5 dollars a drink- 800 dollars), and don't want an open bar. So you want us to tell you that you should do what you can afford, because that's what you're doing anyway? As you see many brides are doing what works for them; but when you start a forum post and don't want to hear from people who are trying to help, I don't have a lot of sympathy.

Cash bars in my area don't exist. It's not getting more common, but that sounds good if someone wants to do one.

Yeah it seems like you have already made up your mind, no need to even ask. Do whatever floats your boat. If your in college....I know if I invited all of my college friends we would need A LOT of alcohol. I am lucky I can supply my own alcohol because I think we will be going through some drinks. Good luck!

I always forget I'm like the only one with a "no rules" venue..

Julie, Nobody NEEDS a vodka and tonic, so the hostile "they can pay up" -- especially when you're talking about your guests - is more than a little off putting. If anyone needs vodka that badly, I can guarantee that they're skipping the tonic and drinking straight from the plastic bottle under their front seat. If you want to have wine and a hosted cocktail hour, fine. If you want to have a cash bar, have a cash bar. It makes zero difference to anyone on this forum.

I'm in the general vicinity that Celia's in, and I agree. Around here, it's not common at all to have cash bars. I have no doubt that a venue manager, one who has clearly picked up that a client is not going to budge on an open bar, will sell the cash bar package and tell the client it's becoming more common.

@Centerpiece, actually most of our guests don't even drink that much....and they also won't mind paying for their own drink, and be fortunate enough to have wine be free. My guests are grateful to just be invited to see me get married.

I would LOVE to have an full top shelf open bar, but its just NOT in the budget, I also don't agree that people "NEED" alcohol to stay and dance, that is just sad if they do. If people (the older crowd) leave right after cake cutting cause they don't want to dance, that's fine, but I highly doubt those people would be on the dance floor because there was an open bar...

Clubs have alcohol cause its a money maker, you can't compare a wedding to a club, people go to Clubs to get drunk, people go to weddings to celebrate the happy couple.

#sorrynotsorry on the partial cash bar...

Don't apologize for your cash bar -- not to me. People do come to a wedding to celebrate the happy couple, and I'm delighted that your guests are just grateful to see you get married. After the ceremony, they're looking for a party. I'm glad you're pulling it off. The point of bringing up a dance club and alcohol and likening it a wedding reception (not a ceremony) is obvious. If you don't see the similarity, you don't see it. No problem.

Cash bars are unheard of where I'm from. I didn't even know they existed til this forum. I've seen a limited bar and it was meh, definitely did not have the party vibe most of the weddings I've attended have had. That being said, I'd honest to God rather buy my own that have to drink some non-drinkers choice of white or red wine. Not that I wouldn't think you were tacky, bc I would.

Edited to add: I'm not college educated, I am a single parent and I am also paying for my own wedding, in cash. We saved and planned for ALL costs associated with a wedding. We are having a 6 hour top shelf open bar with your typical hard liquor choices plus 5 beers and 3 wines, we are adding a Signature Martini and also tacked on extra booze: flavored vodkas for shots and fun drinks, and 1/2 keg of hard cider. I wanna say when all is said and done it's like $2000 ish. We budgeted for it, along with everything else, bc it's a party and I hope people stay late and party the night away. That's our choice and our vibe of course but that's the same choice 99% of people I know make.

My comparison for the "but i dont drink" cash bar people is if you didn't dance, or enjoy loud music, would you skip the music and dj?

@ Breanna or you could just put that money (say $30 a week) in a special account for the open bar at your wedding. Yay for savings plans/accounts! lol

The 'i don't drink" rational is right there with "I'm a vegan" and "I hate beef" and "I hate frosting".

1 - OMG Snarky is back?

2 - 2 drinks is enough for whom? You? Because for 5 hours, it's not enough for me. I like to have a good time at weddings, or really any party that's a celebration. Just because 2 drinks is enough for one person, doesn't mean it's enough for another.

3 - "My guests are grateful to just be invited to see me get married." This comment, oh my dear god.

OP just wants us to say her idea is okay. The majority isn't going to agree, and we're going to go around in circles until the thread dies.

Grateful. right.

And to whomever said that cash bars are becoming the norm: they are not. Your venue suggested it because they make money off it. If they know you can't afford an open bar, they would rather have you do a cash bar than no bar at all, because that's less money in their pockets at the end of your contract.

@Sunshine Jenn, that comment drives me insane.

No one is just dying to go to weddings, for God's sakes. Unless all I know are horrible human beings, no one is simply "grateful" to be invited to SOMEONE ELSE's "special" day. Just. Stop. Weddings are expensive for a guest, weddings can be boring for some guests and wedding food can be bland and meh. The party is what excites people.