Alcohol at the reception

I'm totally on the same page as you! we're considering either

1. setting a limit for open bar and then moving to cash bar. OR,

2. we may have signature drinks that will be open all night, and the rest of the bar will be cash.

I'm leaning towards #2 just because I personally become very cranky at weddings when the bar is open then moves to cash. I also feel like it makes people rush through the open bar to "make sure they get enough" before it switches over.

ETA: also for the cash element, i think it's important for guests to know so they come prepared. i personally never have cash on me (maybe why i get cranky!).

Can you do a limited bar with just beer and wine?

Even if we just do beer and wine it's gonna be costly...we aren't allowed to bring in our own alcohol. His prices are: beer $3/bottle and wine $5/glass ...we have about 80 people coming who are 21 and over

Limiting might still be smarter/cheaper. Plus, people will likely take a longer time to drink beer or wine than shots or cocktails and go through drinks more slowly. It also slows down the drunk show (to an extent).

I've never seen this done, but I would think there would be some awkwardness at the 'switch'.

Unless you have VERY heavy drinkers, this is what I have seen from my catering days. Most people will have 2 drinks the first hour; depending on the crowd, some will be non-alcoholic. After that, they'll probably have one bar drink per hour, less if there is wine on the tables. The last hour, almost no one drinks anything but soft drinks. Midway through the evening, some of those people will stop, DUI concerns. I think for me, I'd do wine and beer all night; I don't think the difference between a full bar for two hours and a limited one for four or five is going to be that different. At weddings where I've stayed beyond cocktail hour, the bar is almost totally dead by the time the dinner part of the reception.

Maybe he could show you actual figures?

I know with my wedding my FH'S family does not drink and the older people do not really drink. So thinking of it as "2 drinks per person" may not work if all of your guest do not drink. You could do a free signature drink but if it was me at your wedding then I would just keep getting those drinks instead of buying something. I am not picky when it comes to alcohol.

Celia's right. Ninety-five percent of the weddings I've attended have been full, open bar. There is definitely an ebb and flow (or, more accurately, a flow and ebb) at the bar. People do tend to grab two drinks during the first hour (cocktail hour is when the bar is the most crowded). Some may grab a third to take their table as the reception starts (the introductions, the first dance, etc.). Then dinner is served and the bar is either empty or closed. After dinner, most people will have their last drink of the night. So truthfully, I think most people tend to have 3 (maybe 4) drinks at a wedding.

I think the logistics in the two free drinks could get complicated. How would you go about making that work? Drink tickets? Have you priced a limited bar? Maybe you chose your wine (one red, one white) and vodka with assorted mixers (you can do a mid level vodka and a certain amount of bottles. When they're gone, they're gone). A Wine and Vodka Cocktails bar should satisfy everyone.

If I attended a wedding where the switch was done, then I personally wouldn't be offended and most that I know wouldn't either.

but if it was me offering alcohol, then I'd probably offer the 2 drinks per person, then you're done. I think 2 drinks is enough for anyone, and I'm paranoid about people having accidents or drinking too much for many reasons.

I don't think the way to handle this is a one size fits all situation. you know your budget, you know your guest and what they would be comfortable with. I could have brought wine in, but opted for sparkling fruit juice since my reception wasn't very long and people would be driving. worked out very well.

there's many ways of thought on this, so just listen to your gut and make the right decision for you and your guest. can't please everyone all the time

What about table wine? That's what we're going to try and do, but our venue wants to charge an arm and leg for a cheap bottle of wine.

That's what FH and I are doing, we are dropping about ****$ on the bar, plus wine. That covers about 6-8 drinks per guest, if they drink more than they could pay themselves.

I don't see how providing only 1 or 2 drinks and then moving to a cash bar is any less tacky than just a straight up cash bar. 1 or 2 hosted drinks only seems pretty cheap.

The price of beer and wine at your venue is actually quite good. If all 80 people have 5 drinks at an average of $4/drink, that's only $1600 for the bar. Can you not budget for that?

No Emily S. I obviously cannot budget for that. I'm 22 years old and a college student and I am paying for every penny of my wedding. Thanks for reminding me how bitchy some people on this site can be.

Wow, chill. It was a legit question, you don't have to get defensive. You said yourself "a cash bar is out of the question" and that it's tacky and rude. But then you want to switch to a cash bar after only 1 drink. Um ok? That makes no sense.

Most people can work their budget around to at least provide beer and wine to guests. Or even just wine on the tables.

Woooaahh talk about over reaction there lol

I think only 2 drinks then switching to a cash bar is not a good idea. I think the amount of drinks/timeline is correct. 2 drinks in the first hour then maybe 1 an hour after that. Some people will have more and some will have less. For a 4 hour reception that would be 4 drinks a person if they skip the last hour. 5 if they don't. Depends on the drinks. If they're hard liquor they'll probably skip the last hour. With beer or wine they may not.

ETA spelling

Elizabeth, i don't think that was bitchy.

Half a cash bar is just as bad and presents just the same problems as an entirely cash bar; it's no more gracious.

What about a 'signature drink' table at the beginning and wine on the table for the rest?

I'd still ask to see some recent bills for a party your size. I bet they'll be smaller than you think.

We were able to provide our own alcohol, which saved us a ton of money. If we hadn't been able to, we would've had a dry reception. Do what you can afford. People did not drink as much alcohol as we thought they would. We still have some leftover 4 months later. I think limit it to beer and wine and switch to a cash bar once your budget has been met. I've never gone to a wedding expecting free drinks all night.

What is the big deal about alcohol? I don't drink so I must be missing something. Why do people need to drink at every event they go to? IMHO two drinks is more than enough. It's a wedding not a night at the club.

You can do 1 or 2 signature drinks, beer and wine. Maybe some champagne at the table for the toast. I'm not a fan of the switch. How would people know the bar is going to switch? How will you know each person will get at least 2 drinks? I rather see those tickets for the drinks that everyone hate so much. That way everyone will get at least 2 drinks.

I think this is confusing for guests and just as tacky. If I could not afford an open bar, I would do an open beer/wine bar. I think that's still really nice! If you can afford it, you could also offer one or two "signature cocktails" which would be your only liquor drinks.

Adults, for the most part, have a drink when they go out or to a party. That's what the big deal is.

We are doing unlimited beer and wine all night. Lucky we are able to have a signature cocktail during the cocktail hour only. Any hard liquor can be bought at the restaurant's bar. I also think your beer/wine prices are excellent.

Don't be so quick to get defensive, it was a legit question. How is she supposed to know your budget breakdowns?