Age Discrimination- young couple

I am in the same boat, I'm 22 and FH will be 23 at the time of the wedding. We have been dating for more than 2 years. After our first date, I told him that he was the man that I was going to marry, and we are getting married in October! My parents are very supportive, but future MIL is not so much, even strangers are telling us we dont know what we're doing. My FH and I have been living together for more than a year, pay all of our own bills, have sufficient savings, etc. So I just ignore everyone and know that I am with the man that I am meant to be with forever. Block out the hate, girl!

Kind of a bizarre case, but my close friend married her husband when she was 20 and he was 19. They received a lot of flack about being too young and even I asked them about waiting a bit longer. They celebrated their first anniversary in 2015 and welcomed their son. The husband ended up passing away in his sleep of a rare heart condition at 21. Who would've known if they had waited if he would've been able to even get married and meet his son? Haters back off lol.

I'll be a 35 yr old first time bride (38 yr old first time groom), and my FH and I have been together 7 years. I have always said that who you are at 18, 22, 26, and even 30 are not the same person, so it's important to know that going into such a huge commitment. I am glad it took me a while to find my guy and that we waited. We've been through major things in life that could have broken us that only made us stronger. It's a very secure feeling going into marriage.

That being said, no matter what age you get married, your success or failure will be determined by how well you communicate and grow together as you face life's many challenges. I have a friend that got married at your age that divorced 5 years later. I also have a friend that got married at 20/21 and their marriage is still going strong 15 years later.

Ignore the haters and continue to choose each other every single day. Congrats on finding one another so soon in life!

Hey girl!! I am 19 (going on 20 In August) and my fiancé is 24! Both of our families are VERY supportive as well! But I also get many astonished faces and shocked reactions such as : “whaaaat!? But You’re so young!!” That’s right we’re young! But regardless of the age, marriage is always going to be hard. Don’t let others get you down! This is YOUR and your FIANCES life! My parents were married at 18 and don’t regret a thing! I’m so excited for this new journey and I’m excited for you two as well!! Happy wedding planning! 💕

In my family the saying often goes "live alone and support yourself for a year, you are ready to marry". I think it's due to the large amount of confidence in ones self, and that one is not completely dependent on the other that makes a successful marriage.

Let's be honest, most people hadn't gotten to that stage before they married. Therefore they regret being so young and making such a huge commitment and feel the need to warn young couples.

While you may feel you are hearing age discrimination, it's actually regret. Regret they never got the chance to seek their own independence.

My mom and dad dated in HS. They were togather till she passed away 3 years ago. It may be harder. Yet it is possible. ( sorry not meaning to sound like a motivational speaker) my fiancé and I are in late 30s. Love finds us at many times in life.

When I was in my 20s it was common for people around my age getting married. My sister also was married just after her 21st. Most but not all of these marriages have lasted throughout these past 20 years. I think it is great if you have found someone who you love and are compatible with at a younger age. For myself, I'm glad that ivdidnt get married back then, because who I was then and who I am now are so different that I would not have experienced most of what I have done if I married soneone from my home city. It sounds like youvhave done a lot of prep work for your futures together which is very smart. I dont think you can ever be fully prepared no matter what your age is, but having done this work will give your marriage a strong foundation to build on. I wish you all the vest for your futures together. Sometimes I wish I were younger getting married myself, as you mentioned, to have more time together. But in saying this, i wouldn't want to change anything.

I'm not in your situation, but my family and my circles of friends tend to match you. Getting married just after college/in your early to mid 20's is very normal. My family jokes that I'm an old maid for not getting married until I'm in my late 20's. Honestly, I'd dare to say that it doesn't matter what age you are people will say you should wait or your old or whatever else. You know yourself and your fh and since you mentioned religious reasons I'd assume you've prayed about this or whatever your religion may do, and you can ignore the rest.

My FH and I are getting married in less than three weeks...we're 19 🤷🏻‍♀️
Our family, friends, and social circle couldn't be happier for us...plus getting married at our age is common in our culture.
Remember, "those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind!"

Please forgive me for not reading ALL of the responses.

My niece got married at 22. She caught a lot of flack from extended family. We, the immediate and close family, supported her 100%. She was raised to do what she feels is right, and we'd support her always, and brush off the naysayers. I'm happy to report, she does that. She was married in 2012, and is still happily married to a Marine/Police Officer and has 2 beautiful daughters. It has NOT been easy, but they both know (and knew going in) it's hard work. Her role models are my parents (her grandparents) who have been married for 54 years. If they need counseling, they go to her grandpa who is a deacon, and they work through it.

I, unfortunately, didn't meet my soul mate until I was 43. We won't get to experience having children together, raising a family together, and all of the other many milestones young couples like you and your FH will reach. We wish SO MUCH we'd have met long ago, but are happy we've found each other at least. Better late than never.

I know it's hard, nothing worth having is easy. As long as those close to you, support you, I wouldn't worry about it. If you're willing to work hard, and ask for help when you need it, you're going to be fine. I would only worry if EVERYONE around you (friends, immediate family, etc) are seeing red flags. Sometimes they can see things from the outside we can't see. If that's not happening, then shine the naysayers on and flaunt your multiple anniversaries!

You said age discrimination- but who’s discriminating against you? Did a vendor refuse to work with you? Like I’m all about getting married when you’re ready, I was 25 when I got married. Some friends and relatives are well meaning, but really just can’t see why you don’t want to do things their way, but I wouldn’t say they’re “discriminating” against you. They’re just butting in where they don’t belong. You do you!

I see you already have a lot of comments on here so I'm sure I'm not sure that I have anything new to say. I honestly think that no two couples are the same. There are people who entered ill-fated marriages when they were young but there are also people who waited and still had problems. It's not like there's a certain age you can wait to and have a guarantee that it will be perfect! You sound like you're responsible with money and know how to live on your own. You and FH know your relationship better than anyone else. You know in your hearts that you are ready and I don't think anyone else's opinion matters.

I'm sure it gets tiresome but try to shrug off the "you're too young" comments. You are doing what's right for you.

You really can’t/shouldn’t be calling this discrimination. Advice you didn’t ask for or don’t want to hear, yes; discrimination, no.

Age discrimination involves treating an applicant or employee less favorably because of his or her age.

Example: Mom, Fiance and I went to look at a venue and potentially book it. Employee only directed questions to my mother, I sent emails and copied my mom on them. I didn't hear a response, come to find out the venue representative had bypassed me and was only coordinating with my mother. I brought up a couple concerns I was met with a scoff and "Oh honey, let the adults figure it out" Can't make this up (My fiance was the one that heard the comment or else I would have said something) . When I asked what the security deposit was they gave me a substantially higher number then when my mother called.

Example #2: I reached out to the caterers, I wanted to set appointments to have a couple tasting. The initial applications asked for all details even birthdays, Didn't hear back....Parents reached out they got dates ASAP

I also realize these examples aren't specific to the OP, but that's why I felt compelled to title it discrimination. or maibe it's ageism?

Maybe it's just organizations being unprofessional or maybe it is discrimination.... Either way people need to learn to keep rude/unhelpful comment to themselves.

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Thank you Rachel!

When we get married, I will be 21, and my FH will be 20. We are a *very* young couple. We get comments about it a lot. Everyone seems to think they know better about our relationship than we do, that simply because we're young we must be incapable of having a happy and healthy marriage. Half of my entire family (my mom and everyone on her side) are actually refusing to come just because of our age. It's very disheartening, yes, but I've learned not to let it affect me so much. I mean, yes, it hurts. Yes, it's frustrating dealing with unwanted negative opinions. But that's all it is - opinions. At the end of the day, all these people and their *opinions* don't matter. What matters is our relationship. What *we* know about it. *Our* dedication to each other and this upcoming marriage. No one else. Best of luck to you

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Aww I'm so sorry! best wishes to you, may you have a long and wonderful marriage.

I've been with FH since I was 16, right after high school we went to the county clerks office signed a marriage license and never sent it back in! So officially we aren't married. Now we are 32 years old have 4 kids and are just now making it official! I think people have become to accustomed to marriage not lasting that they are quick to judge a young couple! In the days of our grandparents, and great grandparents divorce was almost unheard of! As long as you two are going into it (from the sounds of it you are) with the knowledge that marriage is not all sunshine, and rainbows, you should be fine! Dont pay any mind to the negative people!! Congrats OP!!

I would just like to say that I was 26 when I got married and I still got comments like “why” and “you’re too young, though!” Everyone always has an opinion. If you’re secure in your decision, don’t let it bother you. If people get real annoying, they’re probably not real friends. My husband and I had a short courthship but we were secure with our decision and our steps forward. There’s probably a handful of people that we didn’t invite to our wedding because instead of congratulating us, they chose to criticize the length of our relationship. ...oh well.

Getting married at 23 the first time around was a mistake *for me*, but that doesn't mean it's a mistake for everyone! It's hard to ignore people's rude opinions, but it's usually the best option!