Age Discrimination- young couple

Most of the odd comments about my age was at wedding related places; the dress store, venues, bridal shows etc. It was sooo odd to me because I just wanted to say well it’s my marriage not yours! We got engaged only a year and a half after dating but we had quite a bit of people within out community ask when we were getting married after we had only been together 8 months or so! I live in TN and “most” people think you should just jump into marriage. It’s crazy

I believe it depends on your background. You mentioned a religious reasoning. If I have kid(s) in the future, when they are adults, I will give them my blessing if they have lived with someone for at least two years. If they have not lived together for at least that long, I will not be supportive of the union. That's my personal belief. I was almost married when I was 22, and we hadn't lived together yet. I'm SO glad I ended up calling it all off, because now that I've lived with someone, I KNOW there's no way in hell I'd marry someone without living together first. I'm thankful our families feel the same about it. I came from a Catholic family, who gave me a little trouble about living together before marriage, but ultimately they admitted that if they had done that in their first marriages, they would have never walked down the aisle. Also, I work in the wedding industry and typically, couples under 25, their views of a wedding and marriage are vastly different than 25 and older. Whether that is good or bad, who knows...

I was actually quite mature at 23. My ex husband was not. It really is your business; everyone else should mind their own! I remember when I was 23, I was married, owned my home and car, had a stable career, and owned a couple of businesses; yet people always seemed more alarmed that I was actually married than that I had a child! I am 43; and I have the same commitment to marriage as I had then...I just chose the wrong groom!

Move to Utah. Nobody will say anything about being too young. Haha.

We are 23-24 and have received comments mostly at work to start filing for divorce and from extended family that are "shocked"

We have degrees, jobs where we each make really good money, a 401k, a home together, and we spent 4 years together and we were ready to tie the knot.

We are both religious too, God is the center of our relationship, and all the people who don't understand religion can say whatever, but some people just don't understand how having God at the center of a relationship is much more powerful than just waiting to get married because you're afraid you might not know yourself.

Of course people who got married at 28 will say that's the best age to get married, or that they got divorced at 19, but that doesn't mean you have to let their opinion influence you. plenty of people I know got married even younger than us and have been together for 15+ years and wouldn't change a thing (not to mention grandparnets who got married at 19)

I think everyone just thinks the age they got married is best, and if it didn't work out then that age is the worst to get married. I get frustrated by those comments too, not because those people have any influence on our marriage but just like "why would you say that". to me, that's like telling a 35 year old she shouldn't have a baby because your baby at 35 had downs! It's her body let her do what she wants

Don't let people bother you with their ignorant unwanted opinions. Up until the 80s the average age of marriage was 22, it has since began rising in age.

It's your alls wedding and your alls choice. When it comes to weddings people always have something to say. 22 is a perfect age. Don't let it phase you!

All of my friends, except for one, were married at 18-19 so I am considered the “old maid” (joking) for my friend group (getting married at 24 and have been with FH for five years). I know that I am a different person in many ways from being 18 to 24 but I was shaped by FH and in turn I shaped him over the years in certain ways. I also do not understand people who are under the impression you can’t still “live life” because you are married. It’s might be different in certain ways and I am all about finding yourself/loving yourself first but the one persons choice in how to live their life does not make it any less important than another’s. Just let it slide.

I was married at 27 to the wrong guy. I'm in my 30s now but I know people who married in their early 20s that were better at choosing a life mate than I was! By all means, age is just a number. It's not like you're still in high school. A generation or two ago, marrying in ones early twenties was considered customary. You do you. You have a road ahead of you to explore, and sure you may change later in life but that's no guarantee you'll grow apart.

View Quoted Comment I got married at 27 and it still didn't last. Age is no guarantee of a successful union. I think maturity has more to do with it, and it sounds like you really took everything into account. Some people meet "the one" sooner than others. I'll be one of those "starting a family in my mid-30s" people, and I'm sure I'll get flak for waiting so long (til I'm remarried). You can't please everyone all the time.

Hey I am 27 and my fiance is 25 but to other people we look like we just graduated high school. We both have full time jobs and bought a house together but when we were starting looking for caters and we met the companies in person it seemed like they would always question us or through jokes like yall not getting married....u sure yall arent just here for the free tastings?? I don't know if its because they could see my ring all the time because I had my hands under the table or in my pockets being that it was winter time but I just thought those comments were rude.

P.S. we didnt choose any of those companies lol

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I spit out my Coke on this one.

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This is a great point. You get the "You're wasting your youth" comments if you get married before 30, then the "But you'll practically be retired when your kids graduate!" comments if you become a mom past the age of 30.

Moral of the story: People need to zip it.

My FH and I will both be barely 22 when we get married next year! I dont think it's all that young as long as you and your FS have been together for a while and lived together!
My FH and I are high school sweethearts and have been best friends for 7 years, together for almost 4 years now! We've lived together since we were 18... actually 17 because he lived with my family and I for the last 6 months of our senior year of high school because his parents had to move 3 hours away and he wouldn'tve been able to finish high school if he transferred.... anyway no body has really made any comments... besides one of our potential photographers mentioned how young we are, but not in a bad way!
Our families are totally supportive! My mom and dad, and my moms parents were all high school sweethearts, so I always joke that I was destined to marry my high school sweetheart as well!
I guess I never thought of us being too young to get married because alot if my friends were/are around my age and got/getting married, so it doesnt seem that odd to me!
My FH and I already own our home, and have two wonderful dogs!
I feel that as long as you both are financially stable, have been together for at least over a year, have lived together, and truly believe that you are the ones, then there's nothing wrong with getting married at your age! After all, age is just a number! Its maturity that counts!

Hi Paola! I've learned that age doesn't define your maturity, and there certainly isn't a "correct" age to marry. You sound really level-headed and ready for the transition, so I would not feed on the opinions of others! Often times, people are expected to move with societal trends, when realistically, you should do whatever you feel comfortable doing - whatever is best for your personal situation!

Best of luck!

H and I got married at 30 and there were a few comments along the way that we were "a little old" to "finally be getting married." *eyeroll*

It just goes to show that judgy people will always find something to be judgy about.

Sorry you're dealing with that crap.

Im currently 21, and FW is 29. I have gotten a couple disapproving comments or looks about my age from people who don’t actually know FW and I. Everyone close to us knows how hard we work on our relationship, and how we’ll continue that same energy after marriage!

We're getting married at 24/26 but have been engaged since 22/24. Before we decided on a long engagement, there was only one negative comment.,.from my own mom. "You don't even want kids, so what's the rush? What's the point?" crap it's two years later and she's still saying it.

Do what you want, it is your life and you are an adult. That being said...I know how I was at 22 versus 32. I will make it clear to my children that I would not be on board the support train for a young wedding. I have watched almost all of the weddings I was a maid in and attended in my 20's fall apart because...they grew up and grew apart. None of the weddings I was a maid in in my early 20's are still married. Not one of 12. That is why my opinion leans towards...heck no.

Now, hoping that you are the ones that will make it and be a different story. That would be wonderful. As a mother and a bystander friend of many...my feelings would be very cautious.

I do not think it is discrimination as much as living life and hindsight is 20/20.

View Quoted Comment Haha well thank you!! I don't usually feel like it but sometimes we all get insecure. Helps that he's a bit younger (28) and I have a youthful spirit. Grower together not old.

You're welcome congratulations, I wish you all the best. 🙂

I am 21 and my FH is 20, we are getting married in November and all I ever hear is people saying we’re to young. Even when trying on wedding dresses or tastings cakes the vendors made remarks about us being to young.