Age Discrimination- young couple

WW people generally think you’ll be too young. I’ll be almost 22 and FH will be 23 when we get married. He’s finishing up his degree, and I’m working full time and working on my master’s degree. His parents were really against it. It was frustrating because they wanted us to do the same things they did, but guess what! Getting married after your 20s doesn’t mean you won’t still make financial mistakes and have issues. Despite waiting for the perfect time to get married, they did not have a perfect life. Things happened, many unforseen and with no one to blame. I honestly think it’s a culture thing. A lot of people on WW can’t inagine not living together for years before getting married. That’s not an option for me and FH as we’re very religious and it’s just not our culture to do that. And we don’t want to do that 🤷🏻‍♀️. Every successful marriage I’ve seen from people who got married young say that YES, they aren’t the same people they were when they got married. But they changed together. They grew together. They intentionally chose commitment and to honor each other despite changing. And that’s what we’ll do.

People will always have their 2 cents. Yours just happens to be your ages. Plenty of people meet young and marry young and live to have their 70 wedding anniversary. Meanwhile plenty of people meet in their 30's and get married and divorced within a year. Shoot look at the older generations. They all married young and had a lower divorce rate. Now society says you need to finish college and live on your own and mature etc before getting married but I disagree with it. It all depends on the couple. Only you and FH know if you are ready and you are taking the classes in which they are pretty honest with you if they feel like you are rushing things. Now if you'd just met at a bar 2 weeks ago and eloping then I'd say you should wait but that's clearly not the case lol.

My FH & I will be getting married next year and we will both be 23 at the time. We have been together since I was 18, we have grown together and learned so much together. of course we have had our struggles in our relationship just like everyone else. We have lived together for 3 years and are very close, we are best friends. We both have really good jobs, we are both on the same page as far as marriage and finances. Thankfully I haven't received any negativity at all from family or friends. I think they see how good we are for each other and 100% support us. At the end of the day it's you & your Fh life, do whatever you want! I wish you the best of luck and hope things change for you, and congratulations!!

My hubby and I married at 20 & 21. We’ll be celebrating our 25th next year! DO keep in mind that most are speaking out of concern because making ANY huge life decisions at a young age more often than not, does not end very well. So they are speaking from the point of view of statistics and personal experience. There is always the exception of course. The best way to show your maturity is to understand where these “nosy” people are coming from. Be gracious about their unsolicited advice and if their persist, smile and tell them that you are changing the subject since the matter of your upcoming marriage is not really up for discussion.

I also agree with PP that marrying young can help you learn and grow together! We certainly have. Then there is the added bonus of having even more years together 😊

Oh! And congratulations!!!

We’re definitely not a young couple. But I do have a friend a lot younger than me and she was 23 and he was 25 when they got married a few years ago. They also got engaged less than a year after meeting (he’s career military and extended a year in our area but then had to move on). He had been on his own since 18 I think but she never had been. As an older friend who’s been through a looot with life and relationships, I was worried for her. But I never would’ve said anything. I think unless it’s your child it’s really not your place to offer that advice unless specifically asked. So I’m sorry you’re hearing that stuff, but know intentions generally are good and caring even if they should know better to shut their mouths If you are strong in your relationship their opinions don’t matter!

I'm right there with you. i'm 20 and my fiancé is 22! we hear it all the time but we honestly just ignore them! but it is extremely annoying and so repetitive to hear constantly

To me it's not about age(within reason obviously) it's about the two people getting married and how committed they are. If they truly want to be together for ever and work it out through any and everything. Plenty of people get married young and stay together! We'll be 24 and 26 when we get married we've been engaged for two years though. We have a 2 year old and are relationship is better than anything I could've asked for! All the blessings for your journey!

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Haha thank you yes agree! if two adults meet and they're both ready to commit to each other and aren't getting married for the wrong reasons then why is it a "big deal"

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I think that's a beautiful thing, growing along each other and experiencing life together! We also have boundaries to make sure we're glorifying God within our relationship! and exactly, life will throw curve balls at you at ANY AGE.

I'm 23 as well my Fiancé is 26 people keep saying live life && things of that nature I completely understand it got to the point where I won't even mention anything around certain people cause I don't want anyone to rain on my Parade

Average age people got married back in the 60s was 22. I was married at 18 and divorced by 23 but it had nothing to do with my age and everything to do with my ex (he was 30 when we got married)

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I will definitely take into consideration advice that's given by people who are the closest to me and actually KNOW my fiance and I. However, everyone close in our lives are very supportive! thank you and congratulations on your anniversary, that's amazing!

It's not that they are trying to be rude to you. Usually getting married young ends in divorce but there are times where it does work out. Don't let it bother you because through all walks of life you will get unwanted comments no matter what. Can't tell you the comments I got when I was pregnant at 23. Good luck.

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Thank you!

I have advanced endometriosis so we had to have the "kid talk" early on.

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When their comments start of " What are you even doing?" in a judgy tone, then yes they are being rude lol it's unfair for people to apply personal experiences to someone else and continue to be a Debbie downer when I'm explaining to them how are circumstances and maturity level are different from what they've described. Thank you! and i'm sorry you also had to endure unwanted comments.

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I've let other people's comments about my weight, appearance, salary, chosen profession, and choice of degree get to me. I didn't agree one bit with them, but it hurt my feelings. This is ridiculous.

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Then perhaps you saw some truth in it... even if you didn't want to admit it. For me, personally, if I don't agree with someone's sentiments, it doesn't get to me. But that's just me.

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Well good for you.

OP, honestly, I'm from rural Arkansas. I'm 24, my FH will be 27 a few weeks after we get married. If you're like me, you feel fiercely protective of your relationship and FH. So, of course these comments will annoy you and dig at you. Everybody treated me like an old maid until we got engaged last year because they literally had no idea why we wouldn't get married as soon as we finished school, just one year after we started dating. It's regional, it's biases people have in their heads, it's all stupid and relative. I had more reserved feelings towards marriage than about 95% of the people I know. Most of my friends got married by their 22nd birthdays. But, they all met their spouses really early (like by 19 years old) and took their time dating and building a strong foundation. No two people are alike. There are absolutely no guarantees in life, and no magical age, religion, prayer, history, anything is going to guarantee you'll have a happy, successful marriage. The most you can do is commit to giving each other your all, and work on creating your own happiness every day.

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So much truth in this post, thank you! and I agree marriage is what you make of it, and every relationship is different. As long as you're both honoring, communicating and actively working through kinks no matter how hard it may be then you should be fine. My great grandparents married at 16 and 18 and had a long beautiful marriage, they of course had their seasons but they persevered! they died within a year of each other and i'm pretty sure my great grandfather died of a broken heart, because that man was healthy as anyone could be at 93.