51/2 year relationship...no engagement yet

He knows i don't need a ring or huge wedding

How old are the two of you?

I'm curious too...

When I met my fiancé and we finally got around to discussing our views on marriage he said he thought couples should be together 5 years before getting married. I looked right at him and said....I don't know any woman who would wait around 5 years for a ring. We got engaged just before our 2nd anniversary, and we are getting married next October. We have been living together for a year.

Haven't you posted something similar before? Do you really want to push for a ring and marriage before he's ready?

We were in similar situation as you. We both have been married before, my divorce was mutual while his was a bitter divorce. He was very shy about the idea of marriage again. I knew I loved him and that I'd wait no matter what. A ring is just a ring. When he finally did propose a year and a half ago he had it down to the date! On bended knee he said, "It has been 5 years, 7 months, and 8 days. I love you with all my heart and soul. . . Will you marry me?" I was in shock!! I didn't ever think he'd ask. Moral of the story. . . . have patience, don't rush him! If you push to hard you may just push him away. If you don't want to wait then maybe you need to cut your ties and continue your search. You will have to do a little soul searching and decide what is best for you.

There is definitely a reason he is dragging his feet. I would just ask him what it is about getting married that he isn't ready for? Maybe if you understood his reason for dragging his feet it might make more sense. You may not like his answer, but it will at least give more clarity to his side of things. And then try to discuss why getting married is important to you. He may need to hear why you want to get married, and why you want to marry HIM, and it might mean more rather than being asked when he's going to give you a ring.

Also, you may need to look at your relationship. What if he isn't ready for a few more years? What if he just isn't interested in the institution of marriage? Have you thought about what that means for you and if that is something you are okay with?

I was with a guy for a long time. I loved him dearly and I thought I was going to marry him, but he was dragging his feet. We discussed marriage and the rest of our lives together and what we wanted for the future, but he was always hesitant about taking that next step of proposing. Finally I got to the point where I just looked at the whole relationship and decided to walk away. It was one of the toughest decisions I've had to make and it sucked and I was depressed afterwards and second guessed my decision for weeks afterward, but I realized that as much as I wanted to get married, this guy just wasn't my prince. I was ready to move forward with my life and he wasn't. He was a great guy and I loved him and I enjoyed being with him, but he wasn't my prince, and the more time I spent with him, the less time I was spending with the guy who was my prince. Literally two months after I broke it off I met FH. We didn't start dating immediately, but I'm always grateful that I broke it off when I did, because who knows if we would even be together now if I hadn't.

I'm not saying this is your situation, but trying to give perspective that if you are ready to take the next step in your life and have been for years, and he still isn't ready for that step, he may not be the guy you take that step with.

Well, I disagree with one poster that women wouldn't wait around for five years for a ring. I was with my fiance for 9 years before he proposed, and I wouldn't have it any other way. We are concrete strong, and know exactly what we are committing to. I think every couple is different, so it's tough to say what I think is going on in your relationship. What do you feel instinctively? Do you feel as though he's just wasting your time, or do you feel like he's truly trying to save up for the future?

If it's the latter, have you communicated to him that you don't need the moon and the stars? A lot of men feel pressured to have the biggest, most expensive ring, etc...

Im 25 turning 26 and he is 26, i had this conversation to see if we are on "same page" told him my plans, married by 27..kids latest 30. He says yeah we are on same page. Then weeks later he says stuff like "10 more years for :kids", so i say "noo you know my plan and i thought you liked it too, if we are not on same plan..then i don't know "...he says " we are on same plan don't worry".

He knows i perfer to elope with just immediate family and have more money for vacation but he wants 100 person wedding...my "sister in law" said we could do it super cheap..where she had hers..literally cost her $8000 dollars for food and everything for 100 people and looked like your typical fancy wedding..she did everything herself

He is confusing...because one min he makes sound like he could propose end of this year and the next...i have nooo idea. Every year its same its annoying.

yesterday at work this lady like "ohh how long you and bf been together?", im like "51/2. years"..she is like "ohh whats wrong with him! he needs to put a ring on that finger. you need to talk to him, thats too long.., tell him you will plan the proposal he doesn't have to do a thing". I then said to her "well..he says he wants to get married and think might happen this year so i gotta have patience if i want a surprise"..she just gave me a look like "your nuts"

You've posted this same thing before… months ago. If things hasn't improved since the last time you posted then maybe he's not going to.

Sorry to be blunt, but if he has still shown no sign of what that major purchase is and he's still buying car stuff, then you might want to leave.

I'm sorry but if you are both in your mid twenties and living with family, your focus should be getting your own place before a ring.

Relationships go from cute to complicated really quick when you're both 100% responsible for your own expenses.

Yes i know, we already pay rent and stuff like its our own place, just sharing a place.

Anyways..i told my bf what lady said.."im like so funny at work this lady gave me whole lecture on how its to long to be waiting for proposal and i should plan my own.....lol who does that?! and whats it to her"...he never said a thing.

There's really only one way to find out if he's serious or not. Give him an ultimatum. Say 'I'm ready to get married and I want to have children, if you're not ready for that, then I need to start looking for someone who is". A friend of mine did it. She didn't even break up with her boyfriend, but she did start dating someone else. Eventually she broke up with boyfriend #1 and married boyfriend #2. They've been happily married for over 25 years.

I think you just need to flat out have the conversation. You're never going to be happy until he's given you that level of commitment. (That you deserve ). Just make sure its for the right reasons. Because he's your partner and who you intend to spend your life with. Make sure he would make a good dad, if you intend to have kids. The foundation has to be there first. Marriage doesn't create it.

I'm not meaning to be critical . I'm just telling it like it is being I was married and divorced by 22 years old.

You're only 25 ... I don't think there is necessarily anything wrong with him waiting. (That's why I asked the age ... if you had said 35, I would say to jump ship). But you two need to be on the same page of WHY he is waiting.

I have an unpopular opinion - move out. Get your own place. Right now, he has everything he wants - you and no commitment. There is no motivation for him to propose. You don't have to break up with him, but there is no point in living together if he's going to string you along.

I can't understand why questions like this get posted on a wedding planning website... I suggest talking to your family or friends about it.

I don't think you should continue to ask him about marriage or being engaged. If this is something he wants to do then he will do it..if you are willing to wait until he's ready (whenever that is) then fine. But to continue to bring it up or hint at it would get aggravating after a while. Put your foot down, if there are things that you want and aren't getting, walk away if you need to but don't continue to wait around if you aren't happy with how things are going.

@MarriedOldHag. Count me in on unpopular opinion. I agree.

I second unpopular opinion!! He's very comfortable right now and honestly it sounds like nothing would change if you guys were married?

Are you fine with nothing changing if you're married? Things you fight about and are concerned about before you're engaged will still be there when you're engaged, and even more so when you're married. I'm biased because I'm very concerned about the budgeting aspect of a relationship and being on the same page there, but I do think that's an important part of the relationship regardless.

I also agree with the unpopular opinion.... However, I don't think it matters how old she is. I was in the same situation. I dated my ex for 6 years and we talked about marriage and read relationship books, and nothing happened. We broke up when I was twenty-five, and I got married to the most amazing man almost exactly two months before I turn 27. If he hasn't proposed after over 5 years, he most likely isn't going to, and waiting for 5 more years doesn't change that.