would you invite someone you hooked up with to your wedding?

I didn't really have a choice to not discuss the wedding, I was a bm in their wedding and helped them plan so it only made sense that they wanted to know how it was going. sooo what would you do?

I think no exes at the wedding unless they are mutual friends after the fact with both of you now and FH doesn't care that you hooked up with him . I personally wouldn't invite him

I have a really good friend who I briefly dated like... 12 years ago. There's zero romance between us. His wife doesn't know anything and my FH doesn't know anything. The 4 of us are really really good friends and neither of us would risk what we have because of a month long careless sexcapade lol. We don't discuss it and it hurts no one.

Meh...it's not like he's an ex or anything. Unless you ever plan on hooking up with this guy again (which I doubt), what he doesn't know won't hurt him.

Fh isn't not friends with him, they just aren't super close, fh has been incorporated into the group of friends from hs though, so I feel like it would be weird to not include him. I have mentioned inviting him to fh, and he had no qualms, but he doesn't know. I don't wanna just bring it up, thatd be awkward. but it kinda makes me feel guilty that fh doesn't know. at the same time, in hs fh and I weren't friends and I know he hooked up with one of my friends then, but she and I aren't close anymore (nothing to do with fh, it was before we even got together) and she's not invited.

No.

I would just tell your FH and ask if he minds. If he does, don't invite the guy.

While I didn't disclose every single hookup I've had, I would be more concerned that my husband was comfortable with our guests, so I would tell him.

Oh, I'm not afraid of telling fh, I just think it would be awkward to bring it up in wedding talk. "oh by the way, remember how you were cool with inviting X, well we hooked up 5 years ago" he's got enough brains to not be mad about it since it was prior to us ever being together. even if he found out at the wedding, I mean, it wouldn't be ideal. but its not like fh is gonna call off the wedding or divorce me for sleeping with someone before we were together. lol

thanks for the responses ladies, in typing this response, I basically got my answer. it's not a big deal, i'll invite him. if fh finds out, oh well, It may just be a touch awkward. but im not going to go out of the way to bring up a past hookup of no importance.

eta, the hookup is of no importance, the friendship is.

and @ miss to mrs that would be pretty pathetic if a man who was going to marry you left you because he found out that you slept with someone before him. not afraid of that even a little bit.

Lol ok @ mrs to mrs, youre the divorcee who thinks a man would leave his bride over things that happened prior to the relationship. maybe I should wish you luck.

@Randi that was pretty uncalled for. She wasn't even being rude to you. She told you something that could quite possibly happen. Jealously is a bitch. Especially with men. Do you have a problem with divorcee's?

Yeah, I obviously said that I hate all divorcees, clearly her good luck comment was meant to be dick. and nothing was directed at you. thanks for your concern.

I invited one of those. He couldn't come, but who cares? That shit happened like almost 14 years ago and nothing in the books says we can't be friends after.

There is absolutely not one reason that information is important to your current relationship. You can't erase the past, and no one should expect you to.

No problem. Good luck with your ex and future husband.

I agree @sunshine jenn, that's basically the conclusion I came to.

@alexis, its not an ex, but thanks

@mrs to mrs, to give someone advice saying how they are probably afraid to tell fh and how i'll possibly lose my man and bring up your divorce, then say, oh well, good luck sounds dick. maybe youre not good at getting across what youre saying in text, I don't know.

If it makes you feel guilty that he doesn't know, then you should probably tell him?

No need to disclose all past hookups or anything, but if it's someone that you and FH actually spend TIME with, I'd feel weird if he didn't know.

Based on what you've said, he probably won't care and will tell you to go ahead and invite him and then you won't ever have to think about it again.

Dont have secrets with your fiance. tell him you slept with him. and ask fiance if he would be comfortable with him there. but please no secrets. honesty and keeping something from him and should he find out later, he will get mad at you and ask you why you didnt tell him sooner.

Why do you even want him there? What's the point? It's weird, potentially very awkward.

Wedding guest lists should consist of people who are important to you, who mean something to your life in a bigger scale than, 'we hung out and hooked up", or 'he was part of a group.

I'm ancient, but I can tell you in ten years, you won't even remember half the people you were "fairly close' to in high school. Use your wedding dollars on other people.

This thread was so awakward to read. I dont even know what to say. :/

FH hooked up with two girls in high school in their friend's circle: so he's inviting both... both are married so i am cool with it... i just don't like one of them since i worked briefly with her before and her work ethics are poor but hey, what can i do?

I have almost boyfriend from college in my guestlist too... we hanged out a lot but never ended up dating officially and he's bring his current live-in girlfriend... FH knows and he was not cool initially but when that ex found a gf, FH could care less.

my advice is make sure it's balanced! it's the best if your exes are taken... if not, u have to think mutually on what if he invites his ex!

I think its something that needs to be discussed pre-wedding. Your FH may not be as comfortable with said guy being around if he knew you had slept together prior. But he may. You never know, until you talk. And I don't think your wedding day is the appropriate time for him to find out, especially through the grapevine. My DH had a few girls at our wedding that used to be his "summer camp" make out buddies and such. We dated for 7 years, so I knew the past, and I was fine with it. I can't say I would have been too happy if I would have found out the stories I know, on our wedding day.