would you invite someone you hooked up with to your wedding?

Talk to fh first or don't invite him. Buttt i have heard its good luck if someone gets together at your wedding, so maybe you brought luck to the married couple. Lol

Even if the random hook up didn't matter to me I would just feel like I absolutely had to tell my husband about it before inviting the guy. but literally my husband and i just don't have secrets from each other...we know everything about the other...especially since we have known each other since a youngish age. i agree, do not go into this with secrets...even if it's something that you don't think is a big deal. maybe your fh won't either...but you don't need to keep it from him.

Not a good idea, would you like it if the shoe was on the other foot?

you shouldn't start your marriage off by being deceitful, nothing good can come from this.

Since your fh knows the guy, I would just tell him. He may or may not care. If he has an issue then don't invite him. My fh invited a girl to the wedding he had a fling with....back in 1993. lol ...wasn't a big deal to me.

This is a tough one, i didnt think i would care until one day not long ago. my FH cousin, closest friend's gf, younger sister had a huge thing for my FH long ago. that didnt bug me at all but when maybe a few months ago we were all together and she seemed like she was flirting a bit, he could walk away and it was like she would follow him like a puppy, didnt even speak two words to me hardly. the gf and her sister originally were invited to the wedding and reception but i explained to him i did not want the sister there. i love the gf but the sister got to go lol i think if their not disrespectful to either person why not invite em? i dated one if my best friends for like two weeks in HS, we remained great friends since, matter fact his wedding a week before mine abd im invited lol so it depends on the situation i guess

We did a no 'Ex invited' rule to avoid anything feeling/being 'weird.

I think the best thing to do is ask you FH. Once you are married, none of us on here will probably remain friends (some might), I can't stand to keep anything from my FH, I have told him about all my past relationships, even though it made me seem not so innocent (I am about 6 years older then my FH) compared to him. I was embarrassed at first, but he accepted it all anyway. So if I was in your shoes, I'd just tell him, explain what the situation is and ask his opinion.

DH's Best Man and I kissed two years before DH and I met. DH knows about it and while we don't talk about the kiss, I know he'd have not had our event go any differently, as they are super close.

I would just be honest with your FH if you feel that there is a chance he could find out on his own. Secrets don't make friends, so if you want your ex-dude to come to the wedding, be up front about it.

No, why would you want him there especially with your FH not knowing what happened? That sounds so inappropriate IMO. You said you guys aren't that close so why have him there??

People forget what weddings are all about. it's about having your closest family and friends there to witness the beginning of a new life for you and your FH.

Weddings should be for your nearest and dearest to enjoy a life-changing event. These should be people you ARE close with. That being said:

A. Invite this guy to your next birthday party or BBQ, not yor wedding.

B. I think full disclosure is always important. Past hook ups who are still in your current circle included.

But hey, what do I know? .I'm a "divorcee". (Is that even still a word?)

It's not that he would get upset about the past hookup, he will be upset because you didn't tell him! You are asking for trouble here..

I don't see why you wouldn't mention it to him. It doesn't have to be a big deal, just in a hey, so this occured to me and I realized if the shoe were on the other foot, i'd like to be included in the thought process.

Honestly, by not telling FH you're making it a way bigger deal than it needs to be.

Enya, who is a divorcee and whose FH does have previous ex's on the guestlist with my blessing, but ONLY because we talked about it.

FH and I haven't told each other every person we've slept with, but if he's going to come in contact with someone that I have hooked up with, I let him know what the history is so as to avoid the awkward moment. And he'd do the same for me, just to protect each other's feelings first. That being said, we're not inviting exes to the wedding, or really anyone we've each had sexual history with, out of respect for each other.

It looks like your decision is already made up, even though most have told you to discuss with FH or not bring him.... I would personally just leave him off the guest list as I'm sure he's not expecting an invite, nor would be offended if he didn't get one based on your current closeness whether you slept together or not (but since you did, definitely don't invite him).

Hey, I once had a couple fire me because the bride was upset that i worked in the same building as her FH's ex wife. I guess you can't be too careful, lol!

But Lara hit it; it's about respect, randi. Or lack thereof.

How would you feel if your future husband invited a girl to the wedding that he had hooked up with in the past and decided to keep it a secret from you? If you wouldn't be okay with the situation reversed than you should give him the same respect. As a married woman I can tell you that good marriages are built on mutual trust and respect if you are already consciously keeping secrets that's not a good start.

Weddings are a day for you to celebrate your love for one another with those in your life who are closest to you. I don't think this guy makes the cut.

I wonder where "is this someone you hooked up with?" falls on the guest invite flow chart?

I honestly have no advice. I don't believe that simply because you're married to someone, they need to know every detail of your past life, but I would hate to think your FH would be unaware when this guy shakes his hand with a smarmy expression.

I would invite him... after talking to FH about it. If you don't think he's going to care anyways, why not just bring it up? You shouldn't be keeping secrets. If he's not going to care then it's not a big deal. If he IS going to care, then it's better he doesn't accidentally find out at the wedding. No, he's not going to leave you because of it, but he might rather the guy not be invited. And if that's the case, you should respect his feelings enough to not invite him.

Double post

No matter what you decide about the wedding you need to be honest with your FH. my parents did not share everything with each other and 25 years into their marriage all this stuff came out and they ended up seperating and getting divorced (this is a personal experience I have been through). honesty up front is always best...and i am sure he will be happy you were honest.