would you invite someone you hooked up with to your wedding?

Reading this thread, and then coming to the end... That escalated quickly.

I wouldn't invite him. You said in your very first post that he isn't a super close friend, so what's the point in having him there?

Personally, FH and I know some of the people eachother have been with, and don't know others. Some of them (for both of us) will be at our wedding. We both know that the other has a past, and it brought us to where we are today. If you are both mature adults who accept that there were other people in your lives prior to the two of you getting together, there is no reason you should not invite a friend who you had a drunken night with.

You said you're not that close so why would you want to invite him?

i didnt tell FH about all my past but a friend came to town, we slept together years ago, agreed we were better as friends, and hes always just been that ever since. FH met him we all hung out, that night i told him and he was like "dang, i had no idea, hes super cool" but he still won't be invited to the wedding. not because we slept together but because he lives out of state and we aren't super close.

FH and i are super open with eachother and he knows how many ppl i have been with vice versa. Does he know all the names? No. we grew up in different states so its not relevant, but we are both equally friends with our exs (for the most part). its all about respect though. First off, i wouldnt hide it from my FH as well as the exs have tobe respectful of our relationship. Because we are all adults, mst of our exs have either already gotten married, had kids or both.

think the lack of communication over something so simple that you dont want to share with FH is ridiculous. If yo want an open and honest relationship, you have to give it. if it was before you knew FH, why is it such a problem?

Randi has left the building. Didn't hear what she wanted.

As everyone else has said, why don't you want to start your marriage with open and honest communication? Your comments on "if he finds out it might be awkward" is just a really immature way to look at serious relationships. I'm sure you've already had enough advice, but I strongly encourage you to speak with your FH, whether you invite this friend or not.

Well...my DH lost his V card to my make-up artist. I'm cool with it, but I knew. Along that lines he is from a small town, and he used to be a hussy. So normally I assume he has at least made out with most females he introduces me to.

ETA: that sounds a little backwoods...whoops

RachelKay, my FH is the same, but he grew up here in Vegas and i didn't, so i just assume most girls he knows have been gropped by him a time or two before.

but like you said, its that you knew. secrets aren't healthy.

Randi must've not liked our advice, she ditched out.

No!!!!

I feel like Randi needs to be added to a list of people who probably hate me on here for being honest and sticking up for a stranger. Do I care? Not really.... I'm just another divorcee so what do I know???

I wouldn't. Yes, it didn't mean nothing, but what if you were FH and he out of no where told you

"oh hey by the way me and so and so hooked up way before you and I, it didn't mean nothing, so

since she is apart of the group of friends from high school I am inviting I am thinking of inviting her..

would you be okay with that?"

If I were to be told that I would be kinda of like "what the heck just happened"? I'm with Celia and agree that your guest list should only include people who are really important to you and not just because you feel obligated to invite someone.

We can't really tell you what to do because we don't know your relationship with your soon to be husband. I don't want to compare, but in my relationship FH and I would never bring one another around someone we hooked up with and keep them in the dark about it. I would be upset if I found out I hung out with a girl FH hooked up.. no matter how long ago and even if it didn't mean anything... not because I'm the jealous type, but because it feels like a respect factor. To me it would be totally disrespectful to keep me in the dark about that and then bring it up when it's time for wedding guest list talk.

If you decide not to tell your FH and invite the dude what if someone slips and makes a comment about how your FH is really laid back about so and so being there after what happened between you two. That would be in the back of my mind all night. Honesty is always the best policy.

I may be biased in my advice though because I don't even believe in keeping in touch with an ex or an ex fling- they're my exes for a reason. I don't have the time for "high maintenced friendships". I like my friendships low maintence.

ETA: It was a little rude to make the comment to Miss to Mrs. She was only trying to give her advice. She is not a drama starter. I only been here a few months and she only gives honest advice and never with bad intentions.

I wouldn't invite him. The way you explained your friendship with him seems like you guys aren't that close. Strange you sound obligated to invite this dude because "He's part of the group" and you are concerned about him being left out but you seem to have very little concern for your FH's feelings and feel even less obligated to tell your FH the truth. You Randi are shadier than an oak tree.

I agree that you need to be honest and open with your fiance about these kinds of things. That being said, if he's cool with it, I don't see why you can't invite him--especially if he's a friend. My high school sweetheart and I dated for 2 years in high school--which was nearly a decade ago. Since then, we've been VERY god friends. We've been friends longer than the time we dated, at this point. My fiance has met this friend and they get along great and my fiance is in agreement that my high school sweetheart should be invited to our wedding.

I think it is situational, of course. But I think it is possible for exes that you are friends with to be invited and it wont be weird for anyone. Again, it's situational.

@AndixLyn and Rachel Kay, yup. H was the same way. I'm pretty confident that anyone he met between the ages of 15 and 31 either gave him some or helped him find some. Oh well.

@Shelby

I'm glad DH had good taste in hook-ups, they have turned into some of my most supportive friends

@Rachel Kay

A lot of H's past escapades came for me when we started dating. The first year was a barrage of emails and messages about how how he really loves her and not me and screen shots of old text message exchanges.

Mind you, he actually dated only a handful of these women. He's not some woman whisperer, either. He's just a really nice guy who likes to avoid conflict. So when he would hook up with someone, they'd think he was special for cooking breakfast in the morning when ... well, H wanted breakfast.

NOW, they're much better.

I would imagine it the other way around. When FH and I first started flirting (we met in high school) he was actually in the beginning steps of a relationship with another girl. It is six years later and it still bugs me when she says happy birthday to him on Facebook at 12:01 am.

I would just talk to your FH about it. Obviously you are worried about it or you wouldn't have said anything about it. My FH knows all of my past and I know all of his (we started dating at a young age worked together/ were friends at a younger one). I would feel as if I was being deceitful to invite him but not tell FH. 'Cause that shit can get awkward.

I agree with a lot of the other posters. While FH doesn't know EVERYTHING, he does know a lot. But if I had that type of past with someone and wasn't even that close with them (regardless of being in your highschool group) I wouldn't invite him. It's just out of respect.

Just, No. Not a good item.