Paying for the wedding yourself?

FH and I are paying for the wedding ourselves. At this point I have put out more money than he has but this is our BIG day and I'm pretty sure there will be times during the rest of our lives that he would do that same. We have a few family member pitching in (a very minimal amount) but it is very appreciated. I think when everything is said and done I would have put out about 65% but it doesn't bother me

Enjoy planning and your day will be perfect

I definitely put out more money than FH....at first it bothered me, but now it doesn't. We're also getting married in September. At this point, I look at it like my money is his and his money is mine. Over the years he's put out a lot of money for me when I wasn't able to. Just sit down and try to budget out what you'll actually be able to afford. It's doable!

We've shared all of our finances and have for a couple years. Since I make more than him, I guess technically I put in more to our wedding, but I don't really think of it that way...

My father and stepfather hosted the rehearsal dinner, but we paid for the bar tab.

FH and I are paying for it evenly but no help from our parents.

I'm spending more than him but I also make more, so I guess it's fair. Plus the extra spending is from things that I wanted and that were important to me personally like decor, etc, stuff that guys don't really care about. Go through your budget, what you currently have in hand and what you have to pay. If you can, maybe make some cuts like wine and beer instead of a full open bar, or skip favors, limo altogether. You can still make it happen. Goodluck!

We share finances too. When we set our wedding budget, it was what we could afford ourselves. We figured if our parents wanted to help, we would just put that amount back in our savings. No need to spend more just b/c it's there.

I would investigate the way he's approaching the saving and expenses of the wedding though. That could be telling of how he manages money and any differences he might have in that area. Have you guys shared bills or paid expenses together before?

FH is paying for the whole wedding unless I get hired from one of the places that interviewed me. But since everything is so expensive Im trying to talk him into going to city hall and we just get married. I dont need a big wedding. All I want is to be his wife. Looks like we might just have a small wedding at a park near his fathers house ( if it doesnt cost much)

No help from parents, but we've been pooling funds for years so its not a mine and yours type of accounting anymore. He's working right now though so I would definetly say no I'm not paying for it myself. I agree with you that it does seem a little weird.

FH and I are saving together but I do put a larger amount away towards the wedding. I have always been really good with my money and financially stable/debt free. I am just in a better position to save more. FH has debt that he wants to pay off before the wedding. It all works out in the end

I don't find it weird if you pay for the majority of the wedding on your own but don't let it become a sour point!

You just have to weigh your options- keep your wedding date and have the wedding YOU can afford or push the date back & save (maybe with FH help) and have the wedding later.

I've paid the huge majority of our wedding costs. There was a point a few months ago that I thought we would have to postpone or elope but I got a great job and started saving. Now we're 23 days out and I am so glad I struggled to save the money. He did pay for the honeymoon though so that counts for something.

Thanks ladies. I feel alot better. I know if I got stuck in a financial situation he would help me out too. We just moved in together this year so we have been paying bills together for the first time. He's been on top of that but he's been having real big car issues so all his money is currently going towards that. I've made a lot of cuts already and i'm still looking into ways to save money. I think it's do able and I do make more money than he does. I'll be getting a bonus at work soon so all of it will probably go towards the wedding. I guess I'm just being nervous since I've never gone through this before.

We're paying ourselves. FH is putting in more for the wedding, but he makes more than I do. I also plan on paying for the majority of the honeymoon. So it all works out.

I wouldn't worry about it - in the end, youboth share money and he'll be there for you when you need in the future.

@ Rachel you're right. I just hope it all comes together in the end

Definitely, as long as you guys are on the same page with money in general, I wouldn't stress about it as much. I would only stress if he says he'll chip in money but then blows it on something else and then says "Don't worry." But having to prioritize car repairs over adding to a wedding account sounds reasonable.

FWIW, I'm a social worker and FH is a consultant, he earns way more than I do. Even so, several years ago he had a huge family emergency that drained his savings and I was in a position to help him out financially, which I never thought would happen. That was before we were sharing money at all, we still lived apart, so it was a really strange feeling like I was "giving" him something. But after that we started approaching financial goals more as a team and we found a system that worked really well, even though we still had our own accounts and our own places.

Everybody has their own way of figuring out the money puzzle. You guys will figure out what works for you.

He is paying for the catering and bar (about 3000) and I am paying for everything else including the honeymoon

I'm with Kris. My FH and I are paying for it ourselves and if parentals want to help we just reimburse ourselves. But no pressure from either side.

Marriage is never about keeping score, and it's never a 50/50 proposition....but you should feel that it's all equitable. Most of my couples are paying for their own weddings.

I agree with the ladies. There may be times in the future where he will be paying more for stuff. As long as you are ok with it then you all will be fine and have fun planning the wedding! My FH and I are both paying for it all by ourselves; him paying more b/c he makes more $. But maybe one day I'll pay more for something when I make more $. Its not about keeping score.

We are paying for everything ourselves and were okay with draining our accounts for it. We've always paid our bills on time and have always made sure we needed money for whatever we needed. So instead of being selfish for a change on our accounts, were putting all our expenses towards this wedding so we can continue to be expensive to each other married! LOL.

I do however make more than him but we've literally put our money together since we started dating so its our money and I've never cared that I shell out more on everything because there was a time when he was paying for a lot when I couldn't (because of job change). He always jokes "I was broke before you, so being broke with you makes no difference (when it comes to my unnecessary expensive tastes and horrible habits)"

I dont think its weird... I'm paying for all the remaing wedding related bills and all the bills at home, because FH lost his job in Jan. but i also make more money anyway. Up until that point we were in on everything together. Also, with his taxes he paid for the honeymoon (4,000) so we're all good. But we share accounts anyway so all is well.

However, we have lots of family support as well. My mom really wanted to by my dress, and his mom wanted to help with the venue. Its not much, but it sure helped! Seems like now towards the wedding were getting a lot more help, but as expensive as my wedding is im sure i paid 80% of it. I think its just as a woman you feel weird paying because society says a man does everything. But really traditionally, the parents of the bride foot the bill where im from.