"B-List" Invites....or second round invites

It's rude if you pretend you're not B-listing. I think if you openly communicate that you wanted to invite everyone but couldn't and people KNOW that they're B-listers, it's ok. I'd invite them via phone and then send them a real invitation. Invest time into making people feel special and important even if they weren't "A-listers".

Personally, I wouldn't be offended to be on someone's "B" List and I don't get why people get so up in arms about it. Each situation is different and to each their own.

That being said, 39 days is pretty short notice especially if your second round invites have to travel also. I think even if you do send out more invites you are going to get a lot more declines.

B-Listing is RUDE. That's all there is to it.

I agree with Erin.

I understand all the arguments, but I find it funny that people get bent out of shape for being invited to a wedding, however it's done. So you'd rather I hadn't invited you at all than invite you a bit late? Inviting you somehow makes you feel more insulted than if I hadn't bothered?

Anyway…

I think most people would be understanding if they know the situation - "we really wanted to invite you but had to make some tough decisions we weren't entirely comfortable with. We would LOVE it if you could come" or some such depending on the situation.

May the etiquette gods strike me down, but if a late invitation means a friend gets to come who I couldn't previously include, then great!

I didn't end up doing a B list because your A list is hard enough to keep on top of, haha!

Jemma, I'm with you. See that other post about the "obligatory" invites...so if you get a bunch of 'No' RSVPs from people that you didn't really care whether they were at the wedding or not, do you not fill those spaces with people who you had to leave off because of the obligations?

For the sake of this argument---assume your venue has a limited space (mine is 150).

I don't know why people get so offended by this. I say you should go ahead and invite them if you want. If they are offended, they can decline.

I think at this point it will be fairly obvious to your b list invites that they are in fact b listers since your wedding is only about a month away.

I think it depends on your guests, if you don't think they will not be offended and will want to come celebrate with you regardless of the timing of the invite, then invite them. But if they are a little etiquette conscious as MOST people on this forum are, then don't invite them and save the drama.

I was sort of against B-listing but...I sacrificed a lot of people I wanted to invite for the sake of family I HAD to invite. And most of the family isn't coming for one reason or another (mostly they don't understand why we are doing it in Mexico). So I'm going to invite the people I originally wanted to in the first place. They've been supportive through the process.

You're celebration isn't until may 25th and the people you want to add are in the US so you're still 6 weeks out. So they won't even know they were b listers. I don't think it woukd be rude at this point but make sure the RSVP card deadline date doesn't show like two weeks from now. I have a few b listers and that's just the way it goes you can't determine if you can invite everyone you want to invite until you have an idea of how many declines you're gonna get. I had a handful of people I didn't invite until six weeks out

This is an actual good reason to send out a second round of invites, though I'd get them out ASAP so the peeps who get them won't know they're secondary. Good luck!

I agree with Jemma.

Ps. Just read a few comments. I don't think you're B listing in this case. It's acceptable.

Do your guests know that you are already married and that they aren't really invited to a wedding?

It's probably pretty obvious if legal marriage is required to work out visa issues.

Reading comprehension > you.

I don't like calling it the B-list lol. I have a huge family and need to invite them before another group, if we get no's from my family I will send an invite to other people. I think you are fine though as long as you send the invites to people in the US and send them out ASAP.

You know its your wedding do what you want. I get so tired of hearing about etiquette or tradition sometimes. At the end of the day the people you invite will except or decline whether they are B-list or not. If they feel getting a late invite was so rude then they can just gladly decline. However most people are happy to get an invite period whenever it comes. Its depends on many factors when inviting people and if have a B-list is the best way for you took control your numbers and not go over budget or whatever the reason maybe, I say good for it.

B-List are rude, and especially because your event isn't a wedding, it is a marriage celebration. I hope your guests know this before they spend serious money to attend a PPD. Rude all the way around.

Ew, Michelle, stop being judgy and rude. How do you know she didn't tell everyone invited that it's a celebration of marriage? Why do you automatically assume she's kept this a secret?

And please have several seats with the PPD bullshat.