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Kayla
Devoted November 2016

Bridal Shower and bachelorette Party...Do I have both?

Kayla, on November 7, 2011 at 11:51 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 18

I'm not sure how this all works. My FH and I are doing the bachelorette and Bachelore party together but do I still have a bridal shower? I would feel bad if they were to buy me a gift for the bridal shower and the wedding or is that custom?

18 Comments

Latest activity by Brandie, on November 8, 2011 at 3:17 PM
  • Desi
    Super November 2011
    Desi ·
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    I did a Bachlorette party and a wedding shower.. The Bachlorette party doubled as my bridal shower and the wedding shower was just a good time, good food and good family/friends that gave registered for gifts

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  • Caitlin
    Super January 2012
    Caitlin ·
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    My nana through me a surprise shower and my MOH (sister) is planing on having a bachlorette party for me but there are going to be no gifts at the bachlorette just a night out

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  • Mrs. Hainsworth
    VIP November 2011
    Mrs. Hainsworth ·
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    That is customary. You have the shower like 3-4 weeks pre-wedding, those gifts are more for you, like a mixer or other more feminine things. Then the bach whenever of course. We did ours together too.

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  • Kayla
    Devoted November 2016
    Kayla ·
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    My wedding was suppose to be this month but we moved it til next Nov. I just wish my MOH would talk to me about the wedding let alone the bridal shower.

    What type of event do you have for both?

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  • LadyL
    Super October 2012
    LadyL ·
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    We are having a bachelor/bachelorette respectively, then a couple shower together. Smiley smile

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  • Joanna
    Super September 2010
    Joanna ·
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    I did both!

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  • Dancing Bride
    Expert June 2012
    Dancing Bride ·
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    My MOH is throwing a shower for me when we get closer to about a month out. The girls are planning a bachelorette party for me and FH's groomsmen are planning his bachelor party. From my experience, it's pretty customary but you definitely shouldn't be throwing them for yourself. As I recall, etiquette says these types of parties are thrown by other people (however, I still offered to help cover some of the expenses for my MOH because she's a single mom and could use the help but I've heard all of the BM's are chipping in).

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  • Rebecca
    VIP December 2011
    Rebecca ·
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    Heck ya you have them! For the shower both men and women came, including FH. For my bachelorette party my FH did not come, but other men came anyways...I think it was good to have my own big night and he can have his before the wedding.

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  • Ashley
    VIP December 2011
    Ashley ·
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    We did/are doing both! We're going out for my bach party, and my circle of friends typically doesn't do gifts for bachelor(ette) parties. Every now and then a girl or two will get a little something for the bride (like sexy dice, or something inexpensive but fun), but that's the exception for us.

    FH's bach party is all weekend this weekend - they're camping out near the lake, and I can guarantee you those guys won't give him gifts. Except maybe a box of condoms as a joke. Smiley winking

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  • Honey B.
    Master May 2012
    Honey B. ·
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    My mom and FMIL are planning a bridal shower for me and then my MOH is planning a bachelorette party with our friends.

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  • Becky
    Dedicated January 2012
    Becky ·
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    It's traditional to have both.

    My bridal shower is about 6 weeks before, due to Christmas/New Years..

    Bachelorette/Bachelor party is a week or two prior.. Maid of Honor typically handles arranging both events, and you are not supposed to pay for anything.

    Some people do one last night of partying hard before wedding.. I personally am having a nice lunch and painting party. www.paintwithmonetandmerlot.com I've also seen spa days, beach days(if you are close to one).. etc..

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  • Theresa
    Devoted December 2011
    Theresa ·
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    We are doing both. I had my shower two weeks ago and the bachelorette party is just my girl friends for a girls night out. It is great to have a shower for family to get to know each other. The bachelorette is just one big party.

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  • Reina
    VIP April 2012
    Reina ·
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    Of course you can have both.

    I will do the wedding shower to share with family and friends, kids whoever wants to come, i am not sure about the bachelorette party since my friends are thinking of taking me to vegas

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  • Tiffany M. ( Tiffany P.)
    Master August 2012
    Tiffany M. ( Tiffany P.) ·
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    Of course you can have both. Some people have both on the same day. I think I might do this as my MOH and BM will both be travelling from 3-5 hours away, as well as some other family and friends.

    As some one mentioned before the shower is usually with female friends and family members, though can include some men. You receive items off your registry, household goods and sometimes lingerie.

    The bachelorette party is usually people more your age. It can be whatever you want. Some ladies go out clubbing, to Vegas, cruises, comedy clubs, sex toy parties, etc.

    Usually the MOH and Bridesmaids organize both, but sometimes other family members or friends might, especially the shower.

    Just some info for you, hope it helps.

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  • Dena&JD
    Master April 2012
    Dena&JD ·
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    It's customary to have both. I won't have a bridal shower but just because we're moving to another state after we get married.

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  • Kayla
    Devoted November 2016
    Kayla ·
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    Well I live in Vegas so theres the bachelor/bachelorette setting. Since it's custom to have the MOH and BM plan the events I doubt I will get a party at all. I have four girls and the two that live in Vegas aren't very interested in being in the bridal party it seems. My mom on the other hand wants to plan the bachelor/bachelorette party

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  • Brandie
    VIP September 2011
    Brandie ·
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    I had both! But my shower was a complete surprise and only attended by females. My girls threw my shower in June and I married in Sept. A little early but one of my BM had to travel and was 7 months prego and my bach party was in April (way early) again for the same reason. But I will say it was nice to have the shower out of the way along with the thank you cards so I could focus on the wedding the last few months.

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