Here are a few of the most common questions asked of me…
Q: “My friends booked their officiant a year before the ceremony and my sister called around and found one two weeks before; which should I do?”
A: If you are looking for something specific from your officiant - book them as soon as you have a date and a location. Well schooled officiants fill their calendars quickly and you may not find what you are looking for closer to your ceremony date. If it is a by the book - you have the entire ceremony ready and just need someone who holds the proper licensing to perform it - by all means, you should always be able to find SOMEONE who can do it on short notice.
Q: “How do we know that you are legal to perform the ceremony?”
A: I will happy to show you my ordination (or I can even scan them if you wish!).
Q: “Is counseling required?”
A: No. Who is there to tell you when you are ready to marry? Every couple has a different way to handle life and the situations we are placed in, so no cookie cutter counseling is going to work for every couple. If you wish to obtain the most from your relationship, married or not; a good book is “The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage” by Dr. Schlessinger.
Q: “What kinds of ceremonies do you perform?”
A: What kind can you think of? Religious, Non-Religious, Interfaith and Hand Fastings, Commitment Ceremonies, Domestic Partnerships, Blessings, Vow Renewals, I would be happen to do something new just for you! (I also do Baptisms, Memorials and House/Business Blessings)
Q: “We just want a simple ceremony, do we have to meet with you for that?”
A: No, you don’t have to do or not do anything with me. We can meet just before the ceremony, or months before - whatever you are most comfortable with. (Rest assured, we will have discussed your ceremony in detail and you will have confirmed that everything is to your liking as early on in the process as possible.)
Q: “How long do your ceremonies usually take to perform?”
A: It is up to you but I usually try to run no more than 30 minutes as children become restless and most indoor venues become too stuffy. Elopement ceremonies normally fall within 8 - 10 minutes.
Q: “What if…
a. I am a divorced Catholic
b. I am Muslim and my partner is Baptist
c. We are just so much more Pagan than Christian
d. We were going to go with the JP not a minister
e. We want 4 different cultural traditions
f. Our children want a part
g. Wondering if you knew any ancient Pagan sacrifice rituals….
…. Is this a problem?
A: I would much rather know who you are and what is important to YOU and incorporate that into your ceremony, then for you to worry about what someone else is going to think.
Q: “We were originally looking for a man to marry us - why should we go with you?”
A: You were looking for a more traditional setting for your ceremony, and although the closest thing I can offer to being a man is wearing a suit, I would like you to consider meeting so that we can discuss all of your concerns. If you still wish to go with a male officiant - I would be happy to try to help you locate one.
Q: “We heard we should write our own vows, what do you think?”
A: There are many ways to do this and I am would love help. You will have the option of reading them to each other, repeating them after me, or having me read them all together in case you are nervous that you will forget when your moment arrives.
Q: “What time will we see you the day of the ceremony?”
A: 30 minutes - 1 hour before your scheduled start time, depending on your event and my involvement in it.
Q: “Do you have any restrictions on photography or video?”
A: Of course not! I even have a place for you to add your photos after the ceremony if you do not have your own hosting site.
Q: The venue and/or the DJ want an extra $200 for sound during the ceremony so that we can be heard, should we get it? Do we even need it?
A: If your wedding party is over 50 people or in a noisier location - simple answer, yes, you will need the extra sound for the ceremony to be heard by all of the guests. The good news is that I have a portable system with two wireless clip-on mics and two speakers that will run on ac/dc that I would be happy to provide you with for a very small fee. Even if you are not having a DJ at the Ceremony, I do recommend this feature if you are having a customized ceremony. It would be a shame if people missed hearing what you worked so hard to create.
Q: “What do your services include?”
My services include:
A discussion of what you want your ceremony to be like. A collection of ceremonies you might like to pull from emailed to you if you are creating your own. All the email and phone coorespondence you need until you are happy with the ceremony. The day of, I will arrive 30 minutes to 1 hour early to make sure all is going as planned, and to coordinate with the other vendors and such. You get a copy of the final printed ceremony. I sign and process the real Marriage License after the ceremony so that it does not take up your reception or photography time.
Q: “Do you charge extra to add a candle lighting, rose or other ceremony?”
A: Never! I don’t charge fees for parts of a ceremony when I am there to perform the entire thing. I do have all of the supplies for each specialty ceremony and would be happy to provide them to you if you book the inclusive package.
Q: “If we have a question, how long will it take you to get back to us?”
A: I have a little less access to phone usage, so phone calls generally take up to two hours to return; email is returned almost instantly at all times (except during rehearsals or ceremonies)
Q: “Do we need to hire you for a rehearsal too?”
A: No and Yes. If you decide at the time of booking to go with a rehearsal 1 hour before your ceremony, I will not charge any extra for it. If you wish for the rehearsal to be on a different day - it will require me to travel again and it will begin at $100. MOST ceremonies do not need a Minister for the rehearsal. I have a very extensive rehearsal help page and it covers anything you can think of.
Q: “We have our License. Can we get married now?”
A: Yes! If it has been three days (or you have a waiver from the county clerk in Oregon), I would be happy to have you drop by with your two witnesses and perform an elopement ceremony. It is still personal, and at a great savings to you!
Q: “What do you normally wear?”
A: I usually opt for a black suit. I am also comfortable decked out for a theme wedding.
So what I wear is what you want me to wear.
Q: “We read online “To tip them is to trivialize their profession and extremely bad etiquette.” Is this true?”
A: No it is not an insult but it is not required either. Professional Officiants vary in quality of service just like any other vendor. Some keep their costs down by rushing in and out, performing the bare minimum required by law to increase the volume they can do in a day. Some other officiants in all price ranges bend over backwards to spend the time and effort that it takes to give you the wedding of your dreams. I believe that anyone who goes above and beyond should be rewarded in some way and those who do not should not be.
Q: “What do you need to know from us to check your availability?”
A: Date, Location and Time of your ceremony. You can email me or you can call me (503-680-9885) or you can even text me too!
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