"Young" Engagement Woes

Me too... I am 21 and my hubby to be is 25 we both work and pay bills (including a mortgage) yet when people find out we are engaged to be married I always get the same response..." But you're so young, you should be enjoying life" some days it doesnt bother me but other days I feel like punching them in the face... In my mind i keep thinking "jeez i can tell how you feel about YOUR marriage!" they cant grasp the fact that we can be young AND in love, its like were some other species, not fully human!

I am 21 and engaged also, and I have had a few "friends" make rude comments. They feel like we are all too young to be in a "serious" relationship. While I hate to think this about my friends, but I just feel like they might be jealous because they haven't found love. But I am just trying to not let it bother me, and I am working on my planning. And I know it is way easier said than done, but just try to not think about it, and enjoy the planning process!!

I havent really experienced too much... When my FH and I went home to see his family, we stopped by his best friends house and thats when he asked him if he would be his best man. His mother spoke up and was like "why the heck are you getting married!? You're too young, no offense Erin, but you gotta play the field! Shes a very nice girl very pretty but you cant settle down now!" No offense?!?!? I literally wanted to shock "Who are you to say that!" Oh i was heated... I still can't believe she said that! When I first met her, she said "aw im glad you finally found a nice girl!" and then 2yrs later she says this.... So your not alone!! Ppl will come around! Dont let them get to you. Its both of your decision, no one else should have input on that!

Oh and Iam 21 also, my FH is 22... when we get married ill be 23 and he will be 24... To me thats not too young at all... Now being 18, yes I could see ppl making a fuss about that!

My sister was 21 her Senior year of college and that's when she got Engaged. I got Engaged at 23. These are in the average age of Brides, however some are older some are younger. My aunt told me she thought both my sister and I were too young to get married and start having kids. My MIL was 17 and FIL was 20 when they got married if you want to talk young, and also expecting my BIL. My parents were 19 and 24 when they got married. Although everyone wished I waited to get married and we were willing to be Engaged until we could afford an actual Wedding ourselves, my priority was finding my Mr.Right who was also Father Material and wanted to have kids with be before I turned 33 and my chance of having Biological Children wouldn't be gone and them being around to help me raise our kids. My husband completely understood where I was coming from. My mom did as well, my dad had the hardest time accepting it and still doesn't accept my choice. I have no regrets and my husband, our son, & I are

Are a Happy Family. I was previously engaged at the age of 20 and realized that guy wasn't the one for me and put me through hell each and every day of our 3 year relationship/engagement. I don't know why I put up with that for so long. Really whatever age you feel is right for you to get married, follow your heart. It will guide you in the right direction. From my past mistakes, I learned that the hard way and wouldn't trade marrying my husband at a young age for anything. We're both still students, but I won't ever stop him from following his dreams and pursuing whatever it is he and our son both want to do. Best of luck and you'll know in your heart it's right for you.

I have been very upset about this. my fiance and I are both 21 and have been together for 2 years. we have set the date for after our graduation, next may. my family was so supportive but his parents pulled him aside a few weeks after we announced our engagement and tried to convince him to have a 5 year engagement!! and wait until we finish our graduate/ law school. the whole point of getting married now is because we are sure and do not want to move away for grad school and just live together for 3 years. doesn't it make sense to get married before we move who knows where? i want to just be excited and enjoy this amazing part of my life, but people's negativity is really upsetting..

I'm 20 my FH is 23...I get that ALL the time. I've never dated anyone I couldn't see as potential hubbys and I've only had 2 boyfriends. For some reason that seems to annoy people. But if you KNOW..well...you KNOW...

I couldn't have dreamed up a better man to spend the rest of my life with! Why wait till everyone else thinks I'm at "the right age" or have "dated enough people"? We make each other happy and thats all that matters!

I've got great aunts that got married at 13 and 14! Since when is 20 too young!?

I way 22 for a day when i got married and almost a year later we are just happy and madly in love as we where when we met. what your getting is what i got from my closet friend he went nuts when i got engaged but like very few you found the guy. that you want to spend the rest of your life with young nothing is wrong with that you just to got igore the people who are like oh may god you are to young what are thinking they don't know what its like to have found the love of your life when we did don't worry you will be fine.

Although it's rude for them to comment like that, I wouldn't take it personally. Everyone wants to teach the lessons from their own lives to others, and a lot of times it's out of love and caring for you - and maybe not wanting you to have the same regrets they have. Or maybe it's the opposite, and they DID date around and are glad they did!

These people are probably thinking - you're 21, you THINK you know what you want now, but that might change. But you know what? I'm 33, and I think I know what I want now too. And that could change for me in 10 more years, who knows! you can only make the best decisions for yourself right now and then hope for the best!

Don't feel bad! I have dated my FH since we were freshmen in high school, all in all about 8 years. He has been my only serious boyfriend. I have had 2 others besides him, but nothing really serious. We got engaged when I was a senior in college (2 days before my 22nd birthday). We set the date for a year and a half away. (Now it is only 4 months away and I can't wait!) I am now 23 and he will be 24 by the wedding. Many people have told me that I should date around before I settled down with my FH, but when you know, you know. I know that my FH is the one that God has for me and that is all that matters. Having the year and a half engagement helped people see that we are committed to one another. We set the date taht far in advanced so I could graduate with my Masters degree and he could earn some more senority in his job so we would be financially secure when we got married. You can't let other people dictate how you feel. Best of luck to both of you!

I was married the first time when I was only 18 (just short of 19). It didn't work out, but it's wasn't so much because I changed my mind as it was him cheating on me. Anyway, there's a lot of decisions we make when we're too young and don't have enough experience to be biased about it (i.e. deciding on a major in college at 18 - who the heck knows what they want to do for a job for the next 40 years! I certainly didn't). I think you'll get the "too young" speech at any age, really. I'm 28 now and there were some that even told me this time around that I have all the time in the world to decide who I want to marry, why would I want to jump into it now? If you're sure and you make the best effort to make a good life together, that's all that matters. Congratulations.

If we had things our way we would have been married about that age (we'll be 23, 24 during our wedding). If you're sure about it -- and after 6 years I would think so -- it doesn't matter what others think! My parents think we're too young, and most of our friends don't get it either, but what's the point of "dating around" if you have something even better -- someone who loves & understands you & that you're more comfortable with than any "new" dates could ever be?

My fh and I are both 21 and will be turning 23 by the wedding and we got weird looks and too young comments from a lot of people and at first it irritated me like "what I'm old enough to buy a car pay a ton of bills but not old enough to get married?" but I just think how my parents got married right out of high school and they've been together for over 25 years. It doesn't really matter about age just compatibility. I think society is so used to the single 30 year old that everyone assumes your suppose to play the field and getting hitch before then is crazy because your suppose to out having fun being single. Well what happens when you have fun with someone that makes you feel special but your only 21 like us are we just suppose to wait around until your older to do anything about it? I do think 18 would have been TOO young though we've had 4 years to get to know eachother and being 21 makes you old enough to make a decision like if you want to be together for the rest of your lives.

I only read a few of these, because i'm busy addressing my invites. but i'm only 18, my FH is 23 and when we tell people that aren't surprised at all. which is a shock to me.. but idk. lol. I do have a 3 year old. so everyone thinks i'm a lot older, but still! no one is shocked or upset or anything!! totally not what i expected.

There is nothing wrong with playing the field, I did that in college when I was 18-20, and wound up with that ex who put me through hell, even tried seeing how relationships would work with 2 other guys. I really didn't even realize that I was in love with my best friend (now hubby) from college when he told me he thought of me as more than a Best Friend, and the first words out of his mouth when I said I'm looking for a husband and father and really wanted to start settling down, he asked "Do you see me in your future?" Truthfully I don't care that my husband is younger than myself, but if he was willing to use his saved time off from work and after school was out for the semester to come and visit me, drive 10+ hours in a monsoon, cook a delicious candlelit dinner, get nervous to tell me he loved me, got even more nervous to pop the question (and outside of my fave baseball teams ball park) and just the most respectful man and terrific father, I knew he was the one for me and nothing

Kept me from marrying my best friend. It's true what they say don't let the good ones go. My husband would have broke things off with his girfriend at the college we went to for me, but I'm not the type to break up a couple for my own selfish purposes. Waiting for him was the best and longest wait I ever had. I could have been married to a NFL Player whom I tried to wait for, but I can truthfully tell you I am more happy every day spending the rest of my life with a man who works 2 jobs and gets paid decently by both, eventhough he doesn't make a lot, and the two of us are just lucky that our luxury in this world is eachother and our son. As long as I have the two of them always, I don't need a fancy car, a big fancy diamond ring, fancy jewelery, etc. I truely love and appreciate my life with my husband and son and couldn't ask for anything more.

I was almost 22 when we got engaged and over a year later I still hear the ol' "You're so young!" I seem to get it a lot from younger people in my classes though. I can anticipate what they're going to say after I see the shock at my ring. People even ask if it's a "decoy"! It probably doesn't help that I actually look like I'm about 14. To be honest though, I feel like the marriage clock is ticking! Like many other people here, we're not getting married until I have graduated and since I'm competing for a spot in a competitive dental hygiene program, it's impossible to tell even when that will be. It gives us time to save up our money and he can get some nursing experience for grad school though.

Don't be discouraged by ignorant comments. You're getting married and the whole world deserves to know!

My sister's wedding did wait until she was out of Grad School. She wanted to bump it up a year, and our dad told her she could get married the day after she graduated from Grad School, but not before hand, and even for her planning a wedding in Boston, while going to grad school in Houston, TX was hard for her. She needed the help of others so she could focus on school. Her wedding was 2 months after she graduated, but she had my dad and stepmom planning her wedding for her and they caused her so much stress. A lot of things for her wedding weren't planned as she wanted her wedding to be and our dad added so many extra guests to the list, when she wanted something smaller. When I knew when her set date was and I lived in the area and was supposed to go looking at venues and meeting with prospective vendors, she even almost held off a few more years to get things planned. I gave her the "if you need someone to do the dirty work and seek out vendors you're interested in and venues, I'll

Go on your behalf and get the info and pictures that would help you plan from Texas and have them contact you." I had to see her ideas first. She wished I didn't move away to even take that stress off of her and would have let me help her plan. Think of it this way, it's harder to plan a wedding when you're focusing on college. Eventhough hubby and I are still in school, and working (at least he is right now) we can save up for something bigger than what we had w/o the stress of other's telling us how to have our larger Wedding.