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Devoted July 2020

You are uninvited letter

Autumn, on April 28, 2020 at 6:40 PM Posted in Planning 8 30

Hello! This will be a bit of a read so feel free to skip if you aren't on that vibe right now lol

Backstory: FH and I are coming upon the weeks when we will make the call about our July wedding. We currently have planned a very small 40 person wedding, but we are most likely going to be cutting our guest down to just immediate family in light of the pandemic. If you think this is extreme, please keep in mind FMIL is VERY high risk and in extreme danger if she were to catch the virus. Also, guests would vary in all age including others that would be at risk simply for being old. Also, we simply don't want to put anyone at risk and a big guest list was never our priority, it's always just been about our love and celebrating with our close fam. Alsooo we want to make a solid call soon so we can adjust plans (catering, etc) and that takes time.

We have not yet sent out our formal invites, BUT everyone who is invited already knows that fact and has saved the date.


We need to "uninvite" people which yes is super cringey, but for the best. I would love to share the letter we have been working on to send out to everyone who was going to be receiving an invitation and would love all feedback (like gimme the raw thoughts that would pop into your head if you thought you were going to a wedding and read this). I AM SO WORRIED that people will be offended! Any insight is appreciated!!


To the dearest people in our lives,

Although we wish to be able to have the honor of your presence at our wedding, the current pandemic has forced us to make a very sad announcement.

After much deliberation, we will be modifying our original wedding plans. It disheartens us to have to tell you that this needs to include an extreme modification of our guest list. Between everchanging state regulations, and considering the risks of hosting guests from countless households (including those who are considered to be at high risk during these times), there were a lot of factors that went into making this tough call:

We have made the decision to have an extremely intimate wedding on our originally planned date of 7/11/2020, that will be limited to our parents and siblings.

As much as your presence will be missed, and we are extremely saddened to share this news, please know that we are making this call with everyone's health in the forefront of our minds, and we hope you will understand. Even though we won’t be able to celebrate in person for the time being, we are looking forward to the day when we can all gather safely and catch up on each other's lives.

Sincerely, and with nothing but love,

(sign our names)


Latest activity by Mia, on May 4, 2020 at 12:24 PM
  • M
    Devoted December 2020
    Morgan ·
    • Flag
    Wow that sounds great!! So sweet and also to the point. So sorry you’re going through all of this. I hope you have a great wedding with your family😊
    • Reply
  • E
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
    • Flag
    I think that’s the best way to go about it. If someone wants to get anger about it just look past it.
    • Reply
  • Soon2BSmith
    Expert October 2020
    Soon2BSmith ·
    • Flag

    Truthful beautiful letter. I think that your guest will definitely understand after reading that letter with no hard feelings.

    • Reply
  • Natalie
    Super November 2020
    Natalie ·
    • Flag
    I think it sounds perfect!
    • Reply
  • Bailey
    Dedicated July 2020
    Bailey ·
    • Flag

    Honestly, the best way to handle such a situation. So sorry you've had to even write this letter!

    • Reply
  • Jeni
    Devoted July 2021
    Jeni ·
    • Flag
    It's nice.

    If you have the energy, you could take a few days/weeks to hand write all the letters (your guest list is pretty small, and I assume you have guests that live in the same household) to make it really personal. I think that will help soften the message. If not, if you two can at least hand sign each letter, that would be great.
    • Reply
  • Margarie
    Dedicated October 2021
    Margarie ·
    • Flag
    If I received this letter my heart would so go out to the both of you as the couple and I would still send a gift. I couldn’t imagine anyone being upset about receiving that letter just empathetic.
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Dedicated May 2021
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    That’s worded very nicely. Could you also zoom your ceremony so people can be apart of it?
    • Reply
  • Kerin
    Super February 2021
    Kerin ·
    • Flag
    That is not terrible. Have you considered maybe having a computer/laptop hooked up and stream the wedding for those who cannot attend? Just an idea, but this letter was certainly well thought out, despite the sad need for it 😉 good luck and congratulations.
    • Reply
  • Autumn
    Devoted July 2020
    Autumn ·
    • Flag

    Thank you everyone for all the nice comments and great ideas, we really appreciate the feedback!! Smiley heart

    • Reply
  • Ingrid
    VIP October 2020
    Ingrid ·
    • Flag
    It's definitely well stated and sentimental.
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    You nailed it.

    This is obviously a weird time, and safeguarding health has to be absolutely paramount.

    While I would be sad to get this letter, it would not be because of you, it would be because of the pandemic.

    • Reply
  • A
    Dedicated September 2021
    ALY C ·
    • Flag

    Sounds really nice!!

    • Reply
  • Mrs.a
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
    • Flag

    I think it sounds perfect! Very courteous and informative as to why you're making the decision.

    • Reply
  • Fmv
    Super October 2020
    Fmv ·
    • Flag
    That sounds perfect. Straightforward and very truthful
    • Reply
  • KiwiDerbyBride
    VIP May 2015
    KiwiDerbyBride ·
    • Flag

    The only thing I might change is “extremely intimate wedding” to “private ceremony”. Other than that, it’s very well written and I would totally not be offended if I received that letter.

    • Reply
  • J
    Expert May 2021
    Jaime ·
    • Flag

    That's a very thoughtful letter. Such a heartwrenching decision to make. Thanks for sharing and hugs to you.

    • Reply
  • Amanda
    VIP December 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag

    That letter is perfect. It get's the point across and is still sincere. Everyone knows what is going on right now so if they have issues with the letter it is not your fault.

    • Reply
  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
    • Flag
    Your letter is perfect.

    Dont feel cringey. Common rules of etiquette only apply in normal time. You have to do what you need to.
    We eloped at my house. My MOH tried to hang around out of courtesy and I kicked her out. I told her I loved her. But wanted her and unborn baby to stay safe and healthy.
    • Reply
  • A
    Just Said Yes July 2020
    Amy ·
    • Flag
    I think your letter is well worded!! If people have a problem with this, you need to look past it. Additionally, as a fellow bride who is also going through this, may I offer how my fiancé and I are handling this?

    We have also downsized our wedding and as a result, we have decided to livestream our ceremony. We sent a similar letter, however we also included a modified invite. We printed (using the same design as our original invitations) a virtual invite that included a link for instructions for how to livestream our day. We figured since the wedding was being majorly downsized, we could use that money that would have been used for food, alcohol, table placements, etc. and moved that money into a live-streaming budget and a small reprint of the invitations. Just another thought for you!
    • Reply

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