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Autumn
Devoted July 2020

You are uninvited letter

Autumn, on April 28, 2020 at 6:40 PM

Posted in Planning 30

Hello! This will be a bit of a read so feel free to skip if you aren't on that vibe right now lol Backstory: FH and I are coming upon the weeks when we will make the call about our July wedding. We currently have planned a very small 40 person wedding, but we are most likely going to be cutting our...

Hello! This will be a bit of a read so feel free to skip if you aren't on that vibe right now lol


Backstory: FH and I are coming upon the weeks when we will make the call about our July wedding. We currently have planned a very small 40 person wedding, but we are most likely going to be cutting our guest down to just immediate family in light of the pandemic. If you think this is extreme, please keep in mind FMIL is VERY high risk and in extreme danger if she were to catch the virus. Also, guests would vary in all age including others that would be at risk simply for being old. Also, we simply don't want to put anyone at risk and a big guest list was never our priority, it's always just been about our love and celebrating with our close fam. Alsooo we want to make a solid call soon so we can adjust plans (catering, etc) and that takes time.

We have not yet sent out our formal invites, BUT everyone who is invited already knows that fact and has saved the date.

THE POINT OF THIS POST -

We need to "uninvite" people which yes is super cringey, but for the best. I would love to share the letter we have been working on to send out to everyone who was going to be receiving an invitation and would love all feedback (like gimme the raw thoughts that would pop into your head if you thought you were going to a wedding and read this). I AM SO WORRIED that people will be offended! Any insight is appreciated!!

THE LETTER::::

To the dearest people in our lives,

Although we wish to be able to have the honor of your presence at our wedding, the current pandemic has forced us to make a very sad announcement.

After much deliberation, we will be modifying our original wedding plans. It disheartens us to have to tell you that this needs to include an extreme modification of our guest list. Between everchanging state regulations, and considering the risks of hosting guests from countless households (including those who are considered to be at high risk during these times), there were a lot of factors that went into making this tough call:

We have made the decision to have an extremely intimate wedding on our originally planned date of 7/11/2020, that will be limited to our parents and siblings.

As much as your presence will be missed, and we are extremely saddened to share this news, please know that we are making this call with everyone's health in the forefront of our minds, and we hope you will understand. Even though we won’t be able to celebrate in person for the time being, we are looking forward to the day when we can all gather safely and catch up on each other's lives.

Sincerely, and with nothing but love,

(sign our names)

30 Comments

  • A
    Beginner July 2021
    Amy ·
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    I think it’s perfect. We had the same wedding date and we called it last month for the same reasons. We decided to hold the wedding reception next July, but told people that we were hoping to get married with a couple friends and my fiancé’s kids on the original 7/11/20 date if we could. I don’t think our message was half as good as yours, but people understood. You really have no choice and you have been as honest, considerate, and gracious as anyone could be. I hope that you have a wonderful, special, memorable day, even if it’s not quite what you planned. Best of luck.
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  • L
    Savvy September 2021
    Lindsey ·
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    Beautiful letter! Sorry you have to go through this Smiley heart I'm sure your guests will understand

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  • A
    Beginner June 2020
    Ann ·
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    Your letter is beautifully crafted! I agree with everyone else and with the change from “intimate” to “private.” I’d also consider substituting “announcement” with “decision.” I’m imagining that you’ve run this by at least a few close friends or family members who already know. You could also follow up with some phone calls for those who might appreciate that, but anyone who feels hurt is thinking more about themselves than you. This is so difficult. We’re doing the same thing, hopefully getting married in our woods on June 21st with our minister, a musician friend, and the only family who lives locally, my son’s family of four, all socially distanced out doors. We have told everybody, not written a letter and they are totally supportive. They don’t want to expose themselves either. We will have a bigger “wedding” #2 next year at our venue about the same date, the Summer Solstice, with recommitment vows, for our very large extended family and closest friends. Or not. We are in a new reality and have to be flexible, but we also have signed three contracts! The Solstice is our 28th anniversary of meeting and we are in our late seventies.


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  • cdelray
    Savvy January 2023
    cdelray ·
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    I think this sounds great!! You did a great job with wording it in a way that I truly feel how difficult of a decision it was. It is very sweet and sincere. I agree with some commenters, if someone chooses to get angry about it- it’s on them. You literally wrote the best letter lol
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  • Cynthia
    Savvy April 2021
    Cynthia ·
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    Good letter. We were in the same boat, but went a slightly different route. We postponed everything until next year, same weekend including the honeymoon trip, but got married at home with just his children and two of my oldest friends. We told very few people and will announce at the reception next year. Surprise!🤣
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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    This sounds great! If I got this I would completely understand and really not be offended at all. It's very sweet while also making the issue super clear.

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  • Candice
    Dedicated July 2020
    Candice ·
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    I think that sounds great. That said, with a guest list of 40, I'd also contact each person individually so that they don't just get this via email. Best of luck!

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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    Honestly sounds great and your friends will totally understand!

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  • Brittnee
    Savvy May 2021
    Brittnee ·
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    This is so lovely and I can't imagine that anyone would be offended reading this. I'm a writer for a living (and a director of communications at a media conglomerate) and this would get my seal of approval, if that helps. Well done!

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  • Mia
    Dedicated July 2020
    Mia ·
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    Nicely done! Sorry you even had to write this though, congrats to you and fh.
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