WWYD: Guests skipping ceremony, going straight to reception?

Same problem sort of....I kind of want a small ceremony with close family and friends and have everyone come to the reception. I didn't know how people would feel about only being invited to the reception.

I think I would be upset too. I did tell my guest where the reception was being held just so they would know how far they had to drive after the ceremony. It was only about 20 minutes but they were back tracking. Not quite sure how to handle this though. Wondering if maybe putting something on the invite stating that the recpetion will follow the ceremony and all info will be provided at the ceremony. That way they have to come to the ceremony to get directions to the reception. Not sure if that would work but it's an idea.

I would honestly find it rude if they came to the reception but not the ceremony, it would probably hurt my feelings, but i'm emotional.lol

Unless they had a very good reason for not coming to the ceremony I would not be happy.

You can solve that issue by having invitation only and escort cards. If they don't have an invite they don't have a place to sit.

If you're worried about it, the best way to prevent it is to have the ceremony and reception in the same place, and not have a gap. But you still can't control what people will do. A 20 minute distance between ceremony and reception isn't awful but if people are already driving 30 minutes to get there or back in the first place, it might be a lot in one day.

I think with your wedding date over 3 1/2 years away, I would not spend energy being worried about this or much else right now.

Yeah, I know it's a far way off, but we've had to push the date back several times and since it was at one time much, much closer to right now, we already have alot of vendors and venues booked. I'm wondering now because if I need a different venue, I may be able to get my deposit back, otherwise they are willing to transer the money to our future date =)

I agree with Brandie. Dont let them know where the reception is until the ceremony.....

1yr away or 3 1/2 years away....problem still would need a solution if there is one. I dont see anything wrong with thinking about it now

Why would you withhold information from your guests about the location of the reception? That seems kind of rude to me. When I receive a wedding invitation I like to know in advance how to get to both the ceremony and reception, whether or not there's a gap in between, what time the reception starts so I know how to plan my meals for the day, what parking is like at both venues, and what the venues are like so I can dress appropriately.

Plus- if it's family members that you're worried about, don't you think they'll find a way to figure out where the reception is if they're determined to skip the ceremony? Rude on their part for sure, but out of your hands.

My point about the timeframe was not to be snarky, but that you can't control or predict what people are going to do now, much less 3 1/2 years from now. You asked if others would be as upset as you, and I'm telling you with how much time you have to think about it, I would not be, or it's going to drive you nuts.

I agree with Kris S. You really can't control what your guests are going to do. There is no way to prevent someone from skipping the ceremony.

My daughter is having a Cath Mass at 2:00. It will be at least an hour, as many parts of it will be sung. Her reception is 1 hr away at 5:30. Catholics are accustomed to large gaps because most churchs do not allow weddings on Saturdays after 3:00 So, we kill time in the closest bar to the venue. I have many guests who are not Cath & live closer to the venue. I have flat out told them to skip the Mass & hit the ceremony. Neither my daughter, nor our family considers this an insult. We don't consider a reception to be an event where people are eating & drinking on our dime. We consider it celebrating with our guests.

I agree with Kris and Carole, although I understand why you feel that way. Of course you can provide information after the ceremony, but that creates other problems. Will your guests know the dress code for an unknown venue? What about those who really cannot make it to the ceremony? Perhaps people work, get stuck in traffic, or their babysitter is late? Just like there's no way to prevent people from leaving early, or in fact showing up if they RSVPed yes, there's no way of making sure they'll show up for both.

U serious???

I am sorry I just can't seem to think through this....unless they r your close family n really close friends I think it's unreasonable to ask them to be at both if they can't or simply just don't want to.

Keep in mind too that most guests do come with gifts and usually spend time n money to be at your wedding --- so technically it isn't a free event to them.

I'm a little surprised with this one since I'm an extreme micromanager. :-) I could give a rats batootey who comes to the ceremony. That is between me, FH and God. So as long we're there nothing else matters. The reception is for everyone to come celebrate the nuptuals and your life long commitments. It's not a reward for your guests cuz they came to church. And Trust me on this one, they're not coming to the reception for the free Chicken Dinner & a rum & coke on your dime. They came to celebrate with you & your FH and probably are spending a significant amount of time & money to come - new outfit, gift, gas money to get there, babysitter, possible time off from work...

^Yep, yep yep.

I seems a little rude. Maybe you could ask that small percentage of people if they are planing to attend both. Do these people have a history of skipping ceremonies? since youre onto them they may feel bad and attend both.

Marie I think u said this way better than I could.

I agree with the tram, marie, and kris above. I'm actually having 2 ceremonies (me and my FH are different cultures) and then the reception all at the same venue but both ceremonies combined are about 4 hours long so I would actually feel bad for my guests to attend all that AND the 4 hour long reception. I'd rather have more of my guests come to the reception NOT tired from the long day so we're all ready to party by the night! Yes, I think you're slightly over reacting- you can't control what your guests will do.

Well said Tram and Marie!

These days it isn't cheap to attend a wedding. : ) With outfit/nails/hair, babysitter, transportation, bridal shower gift and wedding gift. Attending a wedding can have potentially a $500 price tag.

I wholeheartedly agree with Marie S. I couldn't have said it better myself. You shouldn't be caring that much, I would focus on just myself and my FH and God.

Thanks ladies for all of your input! You all brought up some really valid points that hadn't crossed my mind before. In the end though, I guess I would prefer that our guests come to just the reception than not at all. And Kris is right, I have plenty of time, so maybe by the time the big day finally rolls around I'll be so happy that I won't notice or even care. Thanks again everyone!

I missed my friends wedding ceremony because my inlays were coming in from out of town and they forgot their key. I felt terrible but my friend understood.