Writing your own vows

We opted not to write our own vows, but we did choose from a list that our officiant gave us. We actually created our own ceremony from the opening to the end from his samples. I think that is just as special as writing them ourselves, because really although we didn't write them with our own words, the words spoke to us and described our relationship to a T.

We Decided not To Write Our Own Vows Either-And Chose From Our Custom Ceremony Book That Our Officiant Made.

We have the exact same situation! We like the idea of writing our own vows, but FH has anxiety when it comes to public speaking. So instead of sharing those vows in front of everyone at our ceremony, we will be writing them down and my maid of honor will be delivering mine to him the day of our wedding and bringing his to me. We will not be having a first look, so this is our way of having a private special moment between the two of us, without seeing each other.

We are planning to write our own vows! I'm always nervous about talking in front of people, but my fiance is definitely not nervous.


I love your idea of writing them in a letter to each other and reading them before your ceremony! You could always have the officiant do generic, "repeat after me" style vows for during the ceremony, while you share your written vows with each other before the ceremony.

For our minimony we will recite the traditional vows, for our bigger wedding we will write and recite our own personal vows in front of everyone

View Quoted Comment Its absolutely just as special. Thats nice that you got to choose from a list and create it from start to finish. We haven't met with an officiant so I don't really know how that goes yet lol

View Quoted Comment Thats an awesome way to do it.

View Quoted Comment Thanks. Yea I think thats what we are going to do. Have you started thinking about what you are going to say yet?

View Quoted Comment Thats so awesome the your ceremonies will be different in that aspect.

View Quoted Comment I started writing my vows, and then we postponed our wedding from July 2020 to July 2022, so I set it aside for a while, lol I figured I will work on them again when time gets closer.

For our minimony, which is just our immediate famillies (around 5 people) we are writing and sharing our own vows. I’m not sure what we will do for our vow renewal next year.

My fiancé felt the same way. I would’ve preferred writing our own vows, but out of consideration for him we went with the traditional vows that our pastor had. We are writing cards to each other and exchanging gifts before the ceremony, and we are both giving thank you speeches during the reception so that is going to be our opportunity to speak from the heart.

We wrote each other letters that we read a little before our first look. We had the letter reading captured by our videographer, so that was special. Then, we did more standard vows.

I pretty much wrote our entire ceremony and our officiant added little bits here and there. However, our officiant (who is also a close friend) is really adamant about some kind of personal vows in addition to the repeat after me, so we’re keeping it short and sweet. I’m feeling anxious about it, but at least we only have 42 guests, not 200!

I wanted to write our own vows and make them more personal and funny, but my FH didn't really want to share such personal stuff in front of 120 some people, and I get that too, since I already have a hard time public speaking lol. So we compromised and wrote more traditional vows together to do a repeat after me fashion with the pastor, but we will write a letter to each other to read before the ceremony.

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Oh, other than emails, we haven't "Met" our officiant either. LOL... Matter of fact, it's probably time for me to reach out and touch base with him. LOL

View Quoted Comment I'm sorry you had to postpone ☹. That makes sense.

View Quoted Comment Oh wow. I've tried doing research but I couldn't imagine writing my entire ceremony. True 42 is a bit less lol. I'm sure it will be beautiful 🙂

I didn’t feel nervous initially but once I got up there I did feel nervous

View Quoted Comment I looked at a lot of examples for pacing and order, but it was fun (to me at least, but I’m also a writer). The hardest part was narrowing down readings because there are so many I love! Writing the whole script is a bit much, but definitely put your mark on it. Even if you don’t want too say possible vows at the ceremony, you can still customize repeat after me style vows.