Writing your own vows

I just got done writing my vows two minutes ago lol. We are both writing our own vows that we are okay sharing with everyone and then I am thinking about writing my FH a letter to read the morning of the wedding.

View Quoted Comment Yes, we’re doing different colors, different food, almost everything different ❤️

We wrote our own, but we did it together. We made a shared Google doc that we each added vows to over the course of several months whenever we thought of something or saw something online that we liked. The week before (okay 2-3 days before) the wedding, we sat down together to choose the ones we actually wanted to use. It was really nice because we still had that moment of saying all of the things to each other, but we were home alone, in normal clothes, and drinking wine, so there was no pressure. We said them repeat after me style with the officiant, so that wasn't stressful either, but the vows we wrote were a lot more meaningful to us than the more standard ones were. I'd highly recommend doing it this way, or at least writing them together in some form, so you're on the same page about what you're getting yourselves into. Let me know if you want to know more about our process.


I know that some people really like to be very open and emotional at their weddings, but that's not me and it doesn't sound like it's your fiancé, either. Also, I kind of feel like when the vows are written completely separately, it usually sounds like each partner is agreeing to enter a completely different marriage. Everyone is different, so that might work for some couples, but I really wanted to feel like we were entering the same marriage, together.
No matter what you do, make sure that your "vows" contain actual promises.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. I really like this idea. I'm definitely going to run this by my fiance.

We wrote our own vows, though we both took until nearly the last minute to do it. (I managed to get mine done a few days before, DH took time at one of his GM's place the night before to write his.)

We're both actors, so baring our souls in front of everyone is... normal? We were just super proud we only got choked up, and didn't cry!

View Quoted Comment I hope it works for you!

FH and I are writing our own. I'm nervous speaking in front of crowds, but I keep telling myself that I'm only speaking to him. ❤


Whatever you guys decide will be perfect for you. I think a moment to steal and speak to eachother privately like that would be fantastic.