Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Master February 2014

WR: politely telling someone to shut up & stay out of my business?

Flag
Hide content

Iris, on September 26, 2012 at 10:07 AM

I wish I knew how.... So the wedding's been postponed for months, but some people still ask why. Main factor is the finances, but also the personal issue of FH dealing w/his porn addiction - which he's been getting great help for. Not to mention our relationship in general has alot of bumps we are...

I wish I knew how....

So the wedding's been postponed for months, but some people still ask why. Main factor is the finances, but also the personal issue of FH dealing w/his porn addiction - which he's been getting great help for. Not to mention our relationship in general has alot of bumps we are trying to smooth over.

But not everyone needs to know that. The finances is all I feel comfortable telling people. Recently I had 2 people be nosey-bodies, 1 of which pissed me off.

"why'd you postpone" - we just cant afford it right now. "Well there's plenty of ways to cut down costs on a wedding" - we've already done that, still dont have enough $. "are you saving?" - trying & failing, we just have too many bills right now. At this point I'm like ok enough already. "try getting rid of your debt" - that's why we postponed. "Ya know plenty of people get married JOP" - I did that for 1st marriage, dont want to do it again. Now I'm getting

Show all

25 Comments

Master March 2013
Deleted · on September 26, 2012 at 11:21 AM
Flag

Hide content
My parents asked why we were postponing and I said because we couldn't afford it. Then I told them if they wanted us to have it earlier, they could help pay for it, otherwise it's not gonna happen. That ended the conversation for good.
- Reply
Master April 2013
Combay · on September 26, 2012 at 11:41 AM
Flag

Hide content
You're even nicer then me. Because the conversation wouldn't have lasted that long. I have one of two ways of dealing with folks like that. Either telling them something so outragerous that they walk off or start asking questions about their lives so they see how comfortable that is.
- Reply
Master August 2011
Meghan · on September 26, 2012 at 11:51 AM
Flag

Hide content
My parents have done the same thing. They worry about me and try to steer me differently. They didn't want to me to go into the Army, because they were worried. My dad didn't want me to become an engineer because it's a male dominated field and kind of cut throat. It's hard for parent to let go sometimes.

I would suggest a different approach. Praise your mother! I know- it sounds nuts. Tell her that you are so appreciative that she is concerned for you. You are FH have realigned your financial goals and want to be out of debt before you start the marriage, or whatever. Find something they can support, even if they don't agree.

Then, play to her ego. " I know you worry, but I'm an adult now and can make my own decisions. You and Dad taught my well. Now, it's time for me to do them! I'm not perfect, but I'm okay with that. It's good to know you'll always worry about me and always support me anyway."
- Reply
Super October 2013
Sarah · on September 27, 2012 at 11:11 PM
Flag

Hide content
'why do you ask?' is fantastic.
- Reply

Master March 2014
HRH Mags · on September 28, 2012 at 12:09 AM
Flag

Hide content
Treat it like a press conference. Seriously, thats how I have conversations with my mom. Prior to responding think about how much info you want to give out. If she keeps pressing just keep repeating "thats all I have to say or can say at this time." Eventually she will leave you alone lol. It really does work!
- Reply