Would you ask someone to be BM if she didn't ask YOU to be in her wedding?

Your wedding is in three months -- is there even enough time for her to get a dress, get it altered and whatnot?

If she's that close to you, and you really want her up there, ask her. I tried to wiggle out of being a BM at my BFF's wedding (she was stressing over uneven numbers and I didn't want to buy a dress), but she ultimately decided that she wanted me to stand with her.

Her not asking you to be a BM could be for a number of reasons that have nothing to do with how she feels about you as a friend, so it's silly to think of it that way.

It depends on how you feel about your relationship with this person. Honestly, if she is as good a friend as you described, she will likely be very helpful and supportive. However, if you think this will be nagging you the entire time, then you may want to reconsider.

Remember that you don't know everything about her relationship with her other friends - nor do you know the criteria she based her decision on. You don't really know what was going on in her head. What does matter, though, is how she treats you when you are together.

Thanks for the advice, Reenski! I am actually pretty behind in planning, so I haven't picked out BM's dresses yet, but planning to it is this weekend. I am a last minute kinda girl .

I understand that you may have been disappointed in her decision, but I would not let it influence your decision. Honestly, I would invite her to be a bridesmaid, unless you have serious reservations about her ability to perform her duties as a bridesmaid.

It could be awkward, but if you have a really good friendship it shouldn't matter..One of my BM's got married and I was not asked to be in her wedding..but it wasn't awkward since she had her cousin in hers, and a few other mutual friends who knew her longer than I had, so it was an obvious choice..I would ask her if I were you, if you really want her to stand up there with you.

I don't see why you can't ask her. I mean Im asking a close girlfriend of mine but when she gets married I don't know that she will ask me cause she has other friends that although she doesn't see that often I know have been in her life way longer.

I asked a girl to be in my BP and I wasn't in her wedding. We met through my FH and her (now) husband [they were college roommates, she went to a different college]. She was married a few years ago and my FH was the best man, but she and I have gotten close over the last few years, so I asked her.

I have a friend that I have known since 6th grade, and of course, as time goes on people drift apart and stuff but we never quit being friends. She got married 3 years ago and she told all her friends that she couldn't decide who to use so she used her sister in law and her future sister in law. Being that I have no sisters that I would want to use, (I have step and we are not close) I am using her. She's my longest friend and it's not like we don't talk or anything. We have lots of memories together and I wanna keep her as a BM to make more memories.

So yes, I think its ok.

One of my BMs didn't have me in her wedding, but she got married 5 years ago, and we have a much closer friendship now than we did back then. Plus every wedding is different and people seem to choose WP members for different reasons.

I wouldn't even think about it, honestly.

I did. I think people have different reasons for asking people to a part of the wedding. My BM has 3 sisters and friends that she know longer than me. I'm an only child so I using all friends and not family members.

If it will make you happy to see her by your side then do it.

One of my BM is getting married in May and she hasn't asked me to be a BM for her wedding...I'd love to be a part of her wedding...but I'd understand if she didn't ask me as I know she has friends who she's known her entire life (even though I've known her since 7th grade)

One of my BMs has been married twice and I wasn't a BM in either of her weddings. Although she did ask me to sing at her first wedding and we became a lot closer after the fact but for her second wedding she had only her sister and SIL as BMs because she was having a very small wedding. Anyway...I could not imagine not having her in my wedding regardless of the fact that I wasn't in either of hers!

Look at it from the opposite perspective. If you found out someone wanted to ask you to be in their wedding but the ONLY reason they didn't was because you hadn't asked them to be in yours, wouldn't that kind of feel petty? Especially if there was a good reason you didn't ask (like feeling obligated to ask family first, etc.) It's not a competition. If she's someone you want to have by your side on your wedding day, ask her.

I don't think it matters if you were in her wedding or not. If you want her to stand up with you then ask. None of my bridesmaids are married but I wouldn't be offended if I didn't get asked to be in their weddings even if they are in mine. I know that's kinda the opposite situation but same idea. One of my girls for example has more sisters than I do so may not have room in her Bridal Party (we've been friends since kindergarten though)

Hey month twin! My answer would be yes. Sometimes people "have to" have certain people in their WP because of pressure from family as many posts on here have discussed. If a dear friend of mine was available, I would ask her to be a BM regardless of what went on in her wedding.

I think this whole thing is silly. if you want her to be a BM, than ask her to be one! who cares if you weren't in her wedding? maybe she has other friends who she is closer with, i wouldn't take it personally.

Ladies, thanks for the advice. I really needed this discussion to realize I was being silly. I asked, she said yes, and I couldn't be more happy. Now on to find bridesmaids dresses and do the other hundred things I put off...