Why do people not like The Knot message boards?

I couldn't agree with Angi and Emily more. The format of TK gives me a headache and reminds me too much of Reddit.

I think the ladies of TK have the right idea but go for being snarky rather than constructive which is entertaining to read but sometimes it is a bit much. I like getting a thank you card in the mail but I would not disown a friend if she sent an email thank you.

@Emily,

Actually, I mentioned on my TK thread that I posted the same question on WW, and I got childish "hahaha" as a response. It's too bad that they fail to see how the etiquette they supposedly value so highly is not just reflected in open bars, feeding guests, and writing thank you notes, it's also how you treat people in real life, which includes the internet.

Hi Marina,

I was one of those people in the knot forum discussion about the email thank you notes. In all honesty, I'm not a big fan of them but I see that the phone call/email thing was a big cultural thing for you. That's why I suggested you do phone calls and mailed cards to appease both sides. And the only reason I suggested the phone call over email is because it seemed as though that's what your Russian friends were used to over email. I apologize should my post come off as mean. But I really was trying to help you.

I've been on the knot a while now, so I understand how some people can be mean. Sometimes they really are mean and other times, I think we just get so overwhelmed with the majority responses that seem to disagree with our ideas that we take it personally. I totally understand. Regardless, I wish you well with your wedding plans.

ETA: And no, I wouldn't disown a friend over an emailed thank you. Saying it in an email is better than saying nothing at all. I would just prefer a hand written card because it makes me feel special to know that someone took time out of their day to handwrite a note to me - something that most people don't do anymore because of the rushed lives we tend to live. Again good luck with whatever you choose to do.

I am a fan of he knot forums. They give honest, no-nonsense advice. They will not sugar coat their response when you are planning something offensive or rude to guests. I think that's far more helpful than validating bad behavior which happens on here all the time.

Jessica, I don't see anything wrong with their definition of "offbeat". Expecting your guests to supply food for your wedding (potluck) is not properly hosting them, especially since many guests have to travel to a wedding and almost all give a gift. The least the bride and groom can do is suppy food. Potlucks may be "successful" for the bride and groom since they save money and don't have to do as much work, but they aren't successful for guests. Considering yourself off-beat doesn't give you a license for poor hosting.

GRUMBLEDOOOOORRRREEEEEEEE! run away! I use TK for inspiration and my website

GRUMBLEDOOOOORRRREEEEEEEE! run away! I use TK for inspiration and my website

Emily, you WOULD love the knot.

^^ and you would HATE it. I would enjoy seeing you post your wedding plans on the knot boards. Would make for some great entertainment.

To each his own. People with a masochistical streak who want to be lectured and berated by brides-to-be with a stick up their ass probably would love the knot.

I registered at both around the same time, and I thought that WW has more of a community-like friendly approach. Granted, some of the etiquette advice that people give may be questionable, but the vast majority are level-headed people who will not hesitate to call out the "it's my party and I'll cry if I want to" behavior.

It is much easier to navigate through the forums on WW then The Knot. Also, every time I look at The Knots forum, someone is being slammed/bashed because of some of the most stupid immature reasons. Mostly for me though it was the format of the site that drove me to WW. The knot can get confusing and feels cluttered to me.

Emily, the Knot has enough entertainment. I don't associate with Regina Georges. Not my kind of thing.

Emily....the issue I take with it is who the hell decided that was rude? Receptions for the LONGEST time (even in the US) were pot luck type receptions. They were supplied by the community. The only hosted receptions were those of rich and royalty.

Wedding "traditions" are not even truly that. They are new ideas that someone thought up and decided were a good idea. If you want "traditions" lets go back to a time when women were kidnapped from their village and married in secret or when the "best man" was there to carry a sword to fight off anyone who tried to take the bride on wedding day. THOSE are traditions. Those are wedding history. The stuff we have now and site as traditions is often less than a century old...

While I understand the idea of "offbeat" is suggestive, it should be the most OPEN of categories and not have snarky restrictions made up by someone.

Pot lucks are not always to save money, some people as a community, really enjoy them.

Anyhoo, matters not really...or should I say matters knot... haha To each their own. I think the wedding industrial complex is boring and ready to be shaken up. I am happy to see brides and grooms do what they want and what works for them and their friends, family and community. If that is a "traditional" wedding, then that is outstanding....if it is a pot luck in a park with a bride in a blue dress (Blue dresses are purity in Irish traditions) ...then YAY.

Weddings are a celebration of love and family and friendship...they should be whatever feels right.

@Emily...I appreciate honest, no nonsense advice, truly I do. However many times the ladies at TK go way beyond that. I'm not asking anyone to sugar coat the truth, I just wish they were a bit more respectful.

For example, I've seen them tell a bride that planned on a dollar dance at her reception that everyone will consider her a stripper or prostitute because those are women that dance for money. In my opinion that's a horrible response!! They did not need to take it to that level but they did. I can't even imagine how that bride felt. All they had to do was give their opinion without the bashing.

I admit that many of the women there have great advise & experience to share. And I'd much rather have the truth than someone who simply agrees with me just to keep the peace. But I don't like the way many come across so unfortunately many times their message is lost in their delivery.

Regina George is an apt comparison. I like it.

The format on The Knot is too confusing to me which is why I like WW better. And I like the people on WW better too it's just more fun to read and talk to people!

@Melissa i totally agree with you, why are they posting our comments to their forums and then making fun of them. That is so childish and so wrong!!!! Is it people on this site posting them to TK, or are they the trolls on here posting it to TK website? Makes me not even want to post stuff on here!

@Ashlee, it looks like it's trolls on here. If you read through the comments on that first link posted in this thread you will see people saying "I made an account over there just to mess with people. Check this out...*pasted comment from here*". I agree with you, it made me feel really paranoid about posting things here. For all I know, our three comments are going to be copied and pasted over there as a win for them. On the other hand, I guess I don't care too much. I feel more sorry for them because they seem so angry at life. One of them said "I'm surprised they even have friends to attend their weddings", that's hurtful. I'm shocked they even have FH's that want to marry them. I don't want to be like them and be mentioning what they say, so that's all I will put, but that really did make me sad for the nicer people on WW.

I think the biggest problem with etiquette is people assume one size fits all. Just because one person was offended by something doesn't mean your friends/family will be. I think it's always best to know your own crowd, traditions and do what makes you and your guests happy not just what some book says will make them happy. The knot has good stuff just go over there with thick skin and you will be fine. I personally like it here because I feel like there is more of a friendship and people take time to think most of the time their responses out. It's not about even sugar coating it IMO it's about tact.

Wow that is so sad. Yup i agree with you its not right at all and they probably will copy this thread over there too.

Wow that is so sad. Yup i agree with you its not right at all and they probably will copy this thread over there too.