Why do people not like The Knot message boards?

Http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1030019/email-thank-you-notes

This is why. I reposted the same question I had posted here to the Knot, and a good chunk of the responses I got were snarky bitchy "if you did that, I would never give you a gift again" types.

The Knot forums are lot less user friendly, and the people over there tend to be a lot snottier.

To be honest the one thing that made me not choose The Knot is because they make you sign in to see anything!!!!!! Any article, anything. Its irritating.

Wow Stephanie. I just read through that thread. Holy crap. The "Mean Girls" reference that Heather A made is totally correct. I wouldn't be friends with people like that in real life; I certainly don't want their opinions on my wedding day!!

@Steph - I did fake one account. But it was just to illustrate their own hypocrisies and that was after my poor experience there.

It's sad that people have that experience there, because those ladies could be very helpful to other brides if they weren't so bitchy.

I agree that there are many here who promote the "my day my way" mantra and validate bad ideas. Totally.

Marina, I am doing email thank yous after the wedding!! I am asking all of my guests to write their email in the guest book. I want to kill as few trees as possible for this wedding. Don't let some snobby bitches tell you to ruin the planet any further by sending snail mail cards. I also didn't do Save the Dates because I didn't want to kill more trees/fill up landfills.

Also, I love how they think a phone call is impersonal and lazy hahahaha! A phone call is 20 times more personal and loving than a card in the mail, IMO.

WW is more user friendly.

I don't go there because vendors are not allowed and after I made suggestions for someone's ceremony (not a suggestion to use me, lol) there was a massive pile on about officiants.

Honestly? I don't need to spend time giving free advice to people who insult me in return.

AugustBride and Celia Milton, your comments are right on point, as usual :-)

I am ashamed to say I made my website on the Knot...

I thought people on TK were mean as well. The same type of discussions come up here, and people do have strong opinions, but there is a more fair balance of practical people on WW who are willing to disagree and support others who disagree. I posted only one comment on TK; it was on a post that was three days old. Someone responded to me saying it's "looked down upon" to post on old comments.

I didn't consider three days to be "old," and what's wrong with continuing a topic instead of starting an exact copy of it? Anyway....I thought that seemed snide and I didn't want to deal with it.

I've never actually posted anything on TK, but I didn't like their forum portion of their website... it just looked a lot less professional. I like the clean look of WW and can't stand all of their animated crap. I think the articles on TK aren't bad, though and I read them occassionally.

I also hear lots of horror stories about TK forums though, and was curious (but not enough to actually check it out myself!).

The Knot is scary! And I don't scare easily...

I visit there sometimes just to check out what people are saying and read some of the posts, but I find that the layout of the boards is confusing, there are way to many options to choose from where there are only a few. I posted a few posts there and people were helpful, but it's just too disorganized. I guess my biggest petpeeve with them is that users are allowed to have huge animated signature pics which makes scrolling through a thread really annoying.

Wow I just read through the thread bashing some of our threads here and it made me feel kind of sick to my stomach. I didn't realize that they were copying and pasting threads AND some of what we say over there to make fun of it. They are really harsh, more harsh than anything I've read on here in the month I've been here. They were twisting words and taking things out of context and then making fun of the person who said it. Even a girl who misspelled a word and later in the thread came back and said it was a bad day for her and she couldn't believe she misspelled it. They didn't mention that part of the thread, just made fun of her for the original misspell.

Hehe, I just got more of their "I don't care what your situation is, you should do it because it's the proper way to do things!"

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1030019/email-thank-you-notes/

See, these are the little kids who grow up to be bureaucrats and can't go to the bathroom without wondering if it should be signed off by management.

Like other people said, the Knotties would actually be helpful if they weren't so bitchy. I mean, who would want to follow advice given by someone who just called you names??

Like some else said, I do use their inspirations boards but I like the forums and the budget calculator on WW way better. I also noticed if someone disagrees with you on WW, there will be bluntness but nobody is going to want to rip you to shreds.

The biggest thing is the format - it's awful. I much prefer to just be able to see recent posts all in one bunch. And the quote boxes are out of control. I like somewhere in the middle of "do whatever you want" and strict yes or no to etiquette rules. TK doesn't budge at all. If you have a cash bar, you might as well kill yourself according to them. I mean, are open bars preferable to cash bars? Of course! Has every single one of us attended a wedding with a cash bar and, although maybe a tad disappointed, ended our friendship with the B&G over it? No.

TK forums are really a good place to learn about proper etiquette and making your guests feel welcome and comfortable. However, I find it ironic that the approach they use over there to share this information is anything but welcoming. TK would have a much better chance of getting their points across if they would greatly tone down the bitchniness, arrogance, and Mean Girls attitudes. It is really not necessary to answer a question with "Just no. Don't do that. People will talk about you behind your back. And I would never be your friend again." It would be so much better if they simply said "ABC really isn't a good idea because it would make your guests uncomfortable. You should do XYZ instead." The way they attack people is completely off-putting and unnecessary. This happens far less on WW, so that's why I'm here instead of there.

So, who wants to take bets on how long before they start talking about this thread over on TK? ;-)

When I was pregnant...I found "the bump" to be just full of meanies. A small group of us from the birth month board we were on, broke off into our own community. Now, we still have drama but it is a good group for the most part and much more supportive than The Bump was.

As for the wedding stuff, I feel like the people of The Knot are pretty strictly traditional. If you look at their "Offbeat" board, it still says

"Having an offbeat wedding does not mean it's ok to ignore wedding etiquette. Offbeat means not carrying flowers or wearing a non-traditional dress or walking down to ailse to something other than Canon in D. It does not mean having an A/B guest list, or not inviting guests who received a STD or having a pot luck reception. General rule of thumb is that if your offbeat idea affects your guests directly in a bad way, it's probably not a good idea."

What bothers me about the above quote is that they talk smack about pot luck receptions which if you are a fan of Offbeat Bride (where everything is acceptable because it is based on the couple and their guests and knowing what will work for them) then you would see MANY MANY successful pot luck weddings. I have even seen those on Whose Wedding is it Anyway ...

So I just feel like the group description on the only board I would have been really interested in being a part of, is mean.

I am a proud member of the Offbeat Bride Tribe and have found the greatest support there but I like Wedding Wire because it is a bit more "active"....but I keep a journal of my planning on the tribe.