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Anisea
Master July 2014

Whos Paying for the Wedding? Stressed OUT! Grooms side vs Brides side

Anisea, on January 12, 2014 at 7:37 PM Posted in Planning 0 47

Im not panicking yet, but im a little overwhelmed, and am wondering about the grooms side... Ive heard in modern times it is typical to have the grooms side FLOP: Flowers Liquor Orchestra Photography. How did you approach this? Did you sit down with your families together? Separately? Obviously I would never ask any parental party for help paying, but paying myself seems like a huge load, so im getting another job lol

47 Comments

Latest activity by Hayley, on January 13, 2014 at 7:05 PM
  • The Mrs R
    Master May 2014
    The Mrs R ·
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    Luckily, my parents are paying for the wedding. The only thing FH's parents are paying for is the rehearsal dinner, and they offered to pay for it. I never asked them about anything.

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  • MRS_Mikec
    VIP August 2014
    MRS_Mikec ·
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    We knew we could not afford much and I asked my Dad if he would help. He is paying the majority of the reception.

    It is common for the grooms family to pay the bar and rehearsal dinner. FH's mother thought so, so her and his dad are splitting the two.

    Everything else is up to us. I had no problem asking for help.

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  • Kayla
    VIP September 2014
    Kayla ·
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    We never asked they just offered to pay for photography, honeymoon, and rehearsal dinner.

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  • The New Mrs. D
    Dedicated July 2014
    The New Mrs. D ·
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    After he proposed both of our families were in town so we went out to dinner and when the check came FMIL told FFIL to pay the whole thing because my parents had a wedding to pay for. She went on and on about how glad she was that she didn't have girls because she wants to retire this year and not have to worry about paying for a wedding. We haven't addressed the issue since as we just assume that my parents will be paying for everything. Since we're having a destination wedding the rehearsal dinner is included in the packed so FH's family really isn't paying for anything. We are even paying for our own travel.

    It's kind of a sore subject with us because his parents just bought his brother and baby mama a house and are paying for their entire trip to our wedding, yet they have offered NOTHING to us.

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  • Mrs.Ekstrom
    Expert September 2014
    Mrs.Ekstrom ·
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    We never sat down with our families to ask for money as well.

    I knew my parents would give us an amount and my FH and I were talking with his mom and dad about planning just showing them ideas and they said they would give us as much as they gave for his brothers as well as invites and rehearsal dinner. As for the bar we are just doing 2 kegs and a toast otherwise it will be cash bar, only because I have worked weddings before and I've seen how much a bar tab at the end of that night is (SCARY THOUGHT $$$$&dollarSmiley winking

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  • NicolEagle
    Savvy December 2014
    NicolEagle ·
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    We are paying for everything ourselves. We're not expecting a dime from his side. Although, my family will be helping. That's all fine, as long as his family doesn't say a word. Just show up and go with the flow...

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  • Anisea
    Master July 2014
    Anisea ·
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    I still have six months to save up, so I can cover the whole thing, about 17,000$, it just seems strange, I feel like they will arrive at the venue and go 'whoa'

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  • Holly
    Dedicated January 2015
    Holly ·
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    My FH and I agreed it would be rude to just sit down and ask for money, but my FH's parents have offered to pitch in and help in a few places and I'm hoping my parents will as well. Other than that, we're paying the entire thing ourselves.

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  • MrsHicks
    Master June 2014
    MrsHicks ·
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    We are both paying.

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  • K + B
    VIP September 2014
    K + B ·
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    Me and my FH are funding our wedding ourselves.

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  • SupermanBride
    Master October 2014
    SupermanBride ·
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    Fh side is paying for the reception. That's what they offered to do. I don't think either side is specifically obligated to pay for anything, but you can always ask for help if you need it.

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  • Anisea
    Master July 2014
    Anisea ·
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    And im not scheduling a rehearsel dinner because i cant afford it, and no i would never ask for money, i just thought someone would have some interest in the process from his side, since his family is alot bigger than mine.

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  • M
    Master August 2014
    Miss S. ·
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    We are paying for everything on our own. His family will only cover the rehearsal dinner. My parents already told me that they are giving us a generous cash gift for the wedding but I am not counting on that for the budget, especially since everything has to be paid before hand anyways. We just made sure that the wedding budget was realistic and we are paying everything off before the wedding.

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  • Kaegurl
    Master June 2014
    Kaegurl ·
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    We are paying for the wedding because we are adults. We would never ask either side for money. If they want to pay for something they can offer, but we aren't going to ask. Those rules are outdated anyway. Parents aren't obligated to pay for their children's wedding. Nice weddings are certainly doable on any budget. And it doesn't matter if he has a larger family - if you can't afford to invite every cousin and nephew - don't. Besides when you pay you call all the shots - having money and families involves creates more stress and drama.

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  • KarenM
    Master November 2014
    KarenM ·
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    Same here Mrs.D We're paying for everything. If I were to get specific, I'm paying for everything. I earn about 3x what my fiance earns. I don't care. We're having the wedding we can afford...(although today it just went over budget by about $500). Meh. I can live with that.

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  • P
    VIP July 2014
    pittielvr ·
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    We are basically splitting things along the lines you posted. My parents were expecting to pay for the whole thing, minus my dress, rings, honeymoon and rehersal.

    His parents wanted to split everything 50/50 but my parents said no. I was never given a budget, but im aware of my parents financial situation and I wanted to keep their end as close to 10,000 as I could.

    We are paying rings, honeymoon, and i bought my dress (yea craigslist!) I'm also buying things here and there.

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  • Stephanie
    VIP August 2014
    Stephanie ·
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    We have accepted any gifts from either side to help pay for items. FH parents gave us a few thousand dollars when we were engaged to use to "start our life together." My mom sends me small ($100) checks now and then and paid for my dress. She also will give us money towards the flower bill as she wanted flowers on the tables and agreed to pay for them.

    I wouldn't want any parents who are on a fixed income paying more than they felt comfortable paying.

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  • Samantha
    Devoted June 2015
    Samantha ·
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    My mom pretty much told me she was paying for our wedding because that's what she wants to do for us! My FH's dad is paying for our honeymoon and they are hosting the engagement party and bridal shower! My FH and I are also paying for some of the wedding too! So everyone is pitching in!

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  • Helen
    Expert April 2014
    Helen ·
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    We are paying for our wedding.

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  • N
    Savvy March 2014
    Natasha ·
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    We sat down with our parents by ourselfs. Fh mom and stepdad are taking care of photos , dinner and band/dj.

    My parents are covering the reception and other little thing.

    We are coving things too.

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