Whos Paying for the Wedding? Stressed OUT! Grooms side vs Brides side

We're grown, and make our own money. His dad makes little more tha us, my parents make half what we do, and no one GAF what his mother makes(if anything).

If we can't afford it out our own pocket, we don't need it. Buck tradition. Besides, when they pay, they get a say!

Wait for an offer to say anything & then hash out what they want to pay for and what they'll have a say in. We were lucky enough that both sets of our parents offered help.

Good news! If you are paying then you don't have to invite anyone you don't want to!

If they push to have certain people invited that you weren't going to or can afford, that's when you tell them that you have a budget for only X number of people and that they'll have to cover any additions

We didn't ask, we just said, we're having a wedding to get married

his mom offered to pay for the limo and cake out of the kindness of her heart and my parents said they'd give $3k towards whatever we needed so we gave them the rentals and linens

Me and FH are paying for everything. We have received a donation from a aunt but have not and will not ask....

Waiting for people to offer can be stressful and make budgeting hard. A, "So, would you like to chip in for the wedding in any way?" seems sufficiently non-aggressive to me.

I don't think asking is ever okay, no matter how "un-aggressive" you phrase it.

My mom was upfront with what she was willing to pitch in (my dress plus a small savings account she had kept for me since I was a baby) before I was even engaged. FH's parents told us that they would give us money for the wedding, so FH sat down with them (without me) to see what they were comfortable paying (in this case, rehearsal dinner and alcohol). If someone offers, then you can ask for clarification.

My parents are dead, so I'm paying for it.

We would never ask our parents for money. I just can't imagine it. It's our wedding, we are adults with our own careers and money. We would never expect parents to pay for our choice to have a big party. I think "rules" about who pays are seriously outdated. Couples today should expect to pay for their own weddings. If one or both sides offer money, that's a bonus.

We are paying for our wedding, if we couldn't afford it then we would put it off until we could as I would never want to put any pressure/expectation on anyone else to pay for it. That plus I'm hoping that my parents have something to retire with in a few years - I wouldn't want to take any of that away from them.

I've never heard of the FLOP thing.

I was talking to my sister about my now fiance possibly proposing. I said we would have a long engagement because we would have to save for the wedding. She said of course I wouldn't - that dad gave her x amount of money, and she was sure he would give me more because of inflation. She had actually talked to him about it. Lol! She got married about 14 years ago, and since I was so young I had no idea my parents gave her money for it. My fiances parents offered some money as well- about 1/3 of what my parents are giving. We decided since we got more money than we were expecting that we would be as frugal as possible and use the rest on a honeymoon. We are hoping to go to Italy :-)

Oh, and my fiances uncle is paying for our photographer as his wedding present. He did the same for my fiances brother when he got married.

We didn't directly ask for money, just right after we got engaged we sat down with each of our parents and talked about the wedding. when they asked when are we wanting to plan it we just said"we're making a budget and when we get that together we can plan a date". My parents then offered financial support without us even asking. his parents didn't really even say anything nor offer. and i refuse to ask them as well. i don't even know if they are coming! hope it gets good for ya!

I agree with everyone that no one is obligated to pay anything for your wedding so don't assume or ask. Figure out what you can afford to pay for, without putting yourself in too much debt or giving yourself too much stress. Then plan accordingly.

I knew we'd get a certain amount of money from my parents as they paid for the majority of my sister's wedding and my mom had promised the same for me. When we got engaged, my mom told us how much she paid for my sister and that she'd give us the same, although the photographer and the dress would be our responsibility (which were things she didn't pay for my sister's wedding and she is really into being fair and giving us both exactly the same amount for things). We are just planning our wedding based on that. FH's parents paid for my dress as I took my FMIL shopping and she insisted. They also paid for our flights (marrying in a different country). We never asked them but they insisted. I am just very thankful for anything given to us.

I asked my parents how much, if anything, could they give us for the wedding and my husband did the same. They ended up giving us pretty equal amounts, about $12K total. We ended up putting down about $3K for extras and paid the $8K for our honeymoon.

We paid for the wedding ourselves. My mom did offer to pay for flowers, but I didn't know that upfront.

My parent's are paying for the big stuff, flowers, venue, etc. though we never asked them. I personally would be happy just eloping but my parents want the big traditional wedding. We are paying for our honeymoon, my dress, rings, the dj. I think my fiance's family will pay for the rehearsal dinner (as is tradition).

We are planning on paying for it ourselves. My family certainly cannot afford to give us any money towards a wedding - as we live in another state from my family we're including paying for their travel expenses as part of our budget, even, because otherwise they couldn't attend.

His family may very well give us money for it, but we're neither expecting nor budgeting for that. Luckily our wedding will be very small (if we hit 50 guests I'll be surprised), casual, and informal, so a small budget will work for us.

FH's parents have not offered to pay for anything aside from the rehearsal dinner so we are taking it as that they are offering no other assistance. When we first got engaged I read that the groom's parents traditionally pay for the honeymoon but when FH brought it up with his mom she laughed and said that THEY had to pay for their own honeymoon and would not pay for ours (which is fine, they don't owe us anything).

My parents are paying for everything basically. FH and I are paying for smaller things that we want like decor. My mom even wants to pay for the honeymoon and flights but we'll see since she's already paying for half the wedding (my parents are divorced).

We are paying for most of it ourselves. Our parents have mentioned they'll contribute but I would never dream of approaching them to ask if they are or not. I certainly don't expect for them to pay for anything.

I've never heard of FLOP. It seems kind of antiquated.