Robyn
Savvy June 2020

What do you call your Mother in Law?

Robyn, on July 13, 2020 at 1:01 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 43
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I’m having this unexpected inability to call my mother in law “Mom”. Like it literally refuses to roll off my tongue. Lol! My MIL is so sweet and we talk on the phone and email all the time during COVID since we can’t see each other. She keeps insisting that I call her Mom, but I already have a Mom so it’s weird to look at someone else and call them Mom. Am I the only weirdo that can’t get it together? What do you all call your MIL?

43 Comments

Latest activity by Maddie, on June 10, 2021 at 7:00 PM
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Mine insists on calling her mom as well and I couldn’t do it initially aha so I was always trying to avoid calling her anything at all but over time as I got close to her, calling her mom is fine to me now.
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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    No. You’re definitely not the only one. Some are comfortable and some aren’t. I’m not married yet, and I call his mother “mom”. But it’s kinda like calling I’m her a nickname. We also get along, text and talk. So it’s easy. However I call my mother, “mommy”. I guess that helps because technically it’s different.
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  • Kristina
    Dedicated July 2020
    Kristina ·
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    I call my FH mom by her first name, it’s too weird to call her mom even when we’re married.
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  • Robyn
    Savvy June 2020
    Robyn ·
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    That’s a good point. I think time will definitely make it feel more natural. When she first said the “Oh you can call me Mom now”, I was like wow what a special moment then I just smiled and awkwardly walked away hahaha - it was actually pretty funny (to me at least). Good to hear that it gets easier!
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  • Robyn
    Savvy June 2020
    Robyn ·
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    Ok maybe if I trick my mind into it being a nickname it won’t feel so unnatural. My mom is my best friend too and I’ve been calling her all the possible names “Mom, Mommy, Mother, Mama“ all my life. I even call my step mother of 25 years “Mrs. Bev” 😂 So it’s crazy that my MIL gets more privileges than my step mom. 🤷🏾‍♀️
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  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    I call my in-laws by their first names. I love them, and we have a fantastic relationship, but as you said, I have a mom. Luckily, they've never pushed it or anything. I honestly think they would be just as weirded out lol. I feel like "mom" is reserved for the person that fits the role. My brother's wife calls my mom, "mom," and my mom and I have talked about it cuz she finds it odd, but she goes with it because his wife has an awful relationship with her biological family so she has embraced ours as her own. I think it's just 1 of those things that varies from family to family.
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  • Robyn
    Savvy June 2020
    Robyn ·
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    When you first met your MIL, is that how she introduced herself or did it organically evolve into first name basis? My southern roots won’t allow me to call my MIL by her first name. 😂
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  • Fany
    Devoted October 2021
    Fany ·
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    No, you're not a weirdo. I call mine by her first name and put a "Ms/Miss" in front of it when I address her. I don't see myself ever calling her mom, lol. She is sweet but I'm close to my actual mom.
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  • Sarah
    Super August 2021
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    I avoid calling mine anything.. My mom died like 8 years ago so its not because its a sore subject or anything but it feels way too weird to call anyone mom. And I just feel akward saying her name.
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  • Kristina
    Dedicated July 2020
    Kristina ·
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    I’m not really close with her and she also has early onset Alzheimer’s so it makes it a little difficult but she’s such a sweet lady. I just can’t call anyone else mom unless it’s my own mother 😂
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  • Robyn
    Savvy June 2020
    Robyn ·
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    Yeah that’s a good point about it varying because my sister in law (my husband’s brother’s wife) calls my MIL Mrs. Brown and my MIL never seems to tell her to call her Mom so I guess I feel like I’ve been invited into a special place in her heart so I’m going to try to make it work eventually, but I think I’m still in the grace period where I can just not call her anything and it can slide 😂


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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    I totally understand. With my ex-MIL, I didn’t call her anything and, instead, I’d just start talking. But she was very quiet/reserved and we didn’t have a relationship, unlike I do with my future MIL. Similarly, FH daughter calles me by my first name. Initially she was calling me “Ms. First Name” of course. But I absolutely hated it! I felt like I was very old or her teacher or a stranger. So, after a while, I asked FH if he was OK with her calling me by my first name only. Thankfully he was. So I immediately informed my future step daughter that she does not have to use the “Ms.” title. I realize some people view that as disrespectful. But, the “Ms.” title felt so distant and removed, which wasn’t the case because she’s with us half the week. She’s only 11 and I didn’t want to force any of those titles on her. Additionally I realize that she has a mom...and we all get along. Unfortunately my future step daughter and I didn’t come up with a fun name/nickname for her to call me. So she will probably call me by my first name forever.
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  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    I'm in the avoidance booth as well. I just avoid addressing her by a name or title. And when referring to her, I call her Husband Name's mom.
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  • A
    Super October 2021
    Ashley ·
    • Flag
    I can’t wrap my head around calling someone else’s parents “mom” or “dad.” I only know one person who does that (my SIL), and it makes me uncomfortable every single time. My step dad doesn’t know what to say when she calls him dad. She has her own parents, and she’s super close to them so I don’t get where it even cake from.


    I was calling my future in laws by their last names, but his mom kept saying that makes her feel old. I’ve been trying to call them by their first names when I have to address them by name or introduce them to someone, but my guy has the same name as his dad so it can get confusing. I mostly don’t call them anything.
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  • A
    Super October 2021
    Ashley ·
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    I just read through your comments. Since you seem to want to call her something along those lines, maybe try making into a different type of nickname. I used to have a coworker that we all called Mama Beth because she was so motherly towards us at work. Something along those lines could work if you’re comfortable.
    Remember, only do what you are comfortable doing. If it’s uncomfortable to call her “mom,” you don’t have to force it.
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  • Erin
    Expert August 2020
    Erin ·
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    I call her by her first name.
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  • Marcia
    Expert March 2021
    Marcia ·
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    I call my fiance's mom Mrs. X and this won't be changing after the wedding. My mom uses her MILs first name, and my dad uses Mrs. X. Ive genuinely never heard this thing about calling them mom. I already have a mom!
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    I think it’s extremely weird to call someone else mom or dad, especially when you have a relationship with your own parents. I don’t call my MIL anything because we’re not fans of one another, but when I do need to speak to her, I just kind of start talking in her direction and hope she’s listening. I can’t think of many times where I’ve had to call her by her name.
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  • Mrs.a
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
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    I call her by her name. That’s how we were introduced and that’s how I know her as.

    In our case for myself and for her, I think it would be weird to start calling her “mom”

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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    I find it odd to call my mil mom as well. I don't know to me she will always be Terry. I love his parents and hopefully one day I'll call them mom and dad, but right now it's just kinda weird to say it.
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