J
Super September 2017

What about other people's weddings have left a bad impression on you?

Jenny, on April 18, 2017 at 3:36 PM

Posted in Planning 182

As I'm going through the nitty-gritty of wedding planning details in preparation for the perfect day, I found myself wondering what mistakes or oversights my guests will really notice or remember about my wedding. Thinking back on weddings where I was a guest, I was surprised at the things that...

As I'm going through the nitty-gritty of wedding planning details in preparation for the perfect day, I found myself wondering what mistakes or oversights my guests will really notice or remember about my wedding. Thinking back on weddings where I was a guest, I was surprised at the things that stuck with me:

1. The entire wedding was absolutely beautiful and elegant, but the bride looked extremely angry right before she walked down the aisle.

2. The bride felt poorly in her wedding dress during the reception dancing and disappeared for an hour with her bridesmaids. The groom acted like nothing happened and did not check up on her.

3. The wedding party got "lost" on their party bus ride, and dinner was two hours late.

4. When nothing suggested it would be an alcohol free wedding but the couple served bottles of grape juice.

5. When the invitation said 'black tie' and we were the only ones to actually show up in black tie. No one else went beyond country club casual.

182 Comments

  • AshleyR
    Master January 2021
    AshleyR ·
    • Flag

    Getting served sparkling cider...in a champagne glass...during "cocktail" hour.

    • Reply
  • MrsMcK
    VIP September 2017
    MrsMcK ·
    • Flag

    Having to buy drink tickets.

    My FH was in a wedding, they had a head table and I didn't get to sit with him.

    Recently went to a wedding where I found out the couple secretly got married months beforehand, it was all a pretend wedding.

    No vegetarian options.

    I was a bridesmaid, we had to do outdoor pictures in the middle of winter. And her gift to us was paying for our makeup to be done.

    Invited without my boyfriend at the time.

    (These are not all the same wedding, that would really suck)

    • Reply
  • Hope
    Expert May 2017
    Hope ·
    • Flag

    @Kate- yeah! It's actually crazy. All evening events and most (not all) had cake... and water. Some had water with a lemon. We are doing small finger foods and passed hors d'oeuvres and an open bar. And cupcakes instead of cake. I have a lot of family coming in from back east so I'm hoping it's exciting enough for them! I have nothing to go off of!

    • Reply
  • mkebride
    Super September 2017
    mkebride ·
    • Flag

    My best friend asked if I'd help out at her sister's wedding and be the bartender along with another friend (mind you - neither of us are bartenders nor have any experience besides pouring our very strong drinks for ourselves) There was no air conditioning. I showed up in a nice dress, and was immediately put to work decorating. I sweated my ass off that night. They had myself and my friend bartend, and as soon as the ceremony was done, all the 150 guests came over and wanted a drink. Needless to say we were overwhelmed. None of them thought to supply water!!! It was fricking 90+ degrees and they assumed their caterer would supply it (which they did for dinner) but didn't think to have something at the bar. THe only non-alcoholic drinks we had were mixers. I felt so bad for the elderly guests. I was so embarrassed for them. She never once thanked me or my other friend (the bride, my best friend realized how dumb it all was and apologized profusely for her and thanked us many times).

    TLDR: no AC, no non-alcoholic drinks, no licensed bartenders.

    • Reply
  • MrsCalderon
    VIP December 2016
    MrsCalderon ·
    • Flag

    Self catered dry wedding where the reception was held in a cafeteria >_<. No joke the family started bringing out the food, as soon as it hit the table, people started getting up to eat. Well the MOB got all pissed off saying it wasn't time to eat yet but it was like already 3 by then and everyone was hungry. Oh and then... SAME BRIDE. At her bridal shower, which was held at a restaurant, they failed to inform everyone that we had to pay for our meal so at the end of the night I ended up forking out like 30 to 40 dollars PLUS valet parking. I seriously was ready to tell the bride I forgot my wallet and that I didn't know I had to pay.

    • Reply
  • L
    Just Said Yes September 2017
    Lex ·
    • Flag

    Ok I've not heard of Honeyfunds until reading these comments. What are they and why are they so looked down on?

    • Reply
  • janz
    Devoted September 2017
    janz ·
    • Flag

    FH was a groomsman in a wedding years ago and I was literally days away from giving birth to our daughter. There was a 2 hour gap before the reception, then once we arrived at the venue there were no assigned seats/tables. I found a table in the back. The MOG (who I met the night before at the RD) invited me to sit with them. Then once the Bridal party came in and was introduced the bride and groom danced to their first song, but they also had all of the BP dance too. I sat there in disbelief, alone and 9.5 months pregnant, as FH had to slow dance to a love song with the bride's sister.

    After I got up and balled my eyes out in the bathroom and ate dinner with complete strangers.

    • Reply
  • AyEmVee
    VIP May 2017
    AyEmVee ·
    • Flag

    @Hope, I was going to ask if those were Utah weddings. LOL!

    I'm having the hardest time getting people to RSVP because they don't expect food or booze. In fact, people gripe when I ask them to commit or not.

    • Reply
  • Hope
    Expert May 2017
    Hope ·
    • Flag

    @AyEmVee- YES SAME. nobody sees why it's a big deal... because we need to know for bar purposes!

    • Reply
  • fallinthegarden
    Master October 2017
    fallinthegarden ·
    • Flag

    We just got an invite for a wedding yesterday, it's not looking good.

    1. I was addressed as "and guest". I've known the groom since high school (7 years), and FH and I hung out with the couple together regularly in college. I'm not some new relationship either: FH and I have been together over 4 years, live together, and are engaged. I felt some type of way about it. On the response, I wrote my name and put "guest" next to it.

    2. At minimum, a three hour gap excluding drive time.

    3. Ceremony and reception venues are at least an hour apart. Guests won't have to worry about being late though, it's a 1 pm ceremony, 6 pm reception.

    4. Reception card said "dinner and dancing". Suspiciously no mention of drinks.

    I'm glad we have the excuse of attending a different wedding that day as part of the WP. We were planning on getting them a nice gift, but may be downsizing our gift based on that "and guest" shit. Sorry not sorry, if you don't care enough to print my actual name, I don't care enough to spend extra money on a fancy gift.

    • Reply
  • Lauren
    VIP October 2017
    Lauren ·
    • Flag

    I have not been to a wedding since I was little. We are the first of our friends to get married so I am sure in the next 2-3 years we may see some interesting stuff. I have to say I am floored by the amount of people that did not have a seat for the reception!!!! Like WHAT?!

    • Reply
  • firstoneat56
    Master August 2017
    firstoneat56 ·
    • Flag

    Bride super late and dinner starting at 10pm. Bad, bad food. Awful music.

    • Reply
  • ashley c
    Devoted November 2017
    ashley c ·
    • Flag

    @Hope @AyEmVee gotta love those Utah weddings, huh?

    All the same wedding:

    Almost a two hour gap between ceremony and reception. Nothing to drink but water and only had candy/ice cream to eat. (This was a 2pm - 8pm event) There was no DJ or dancing. Basically the reception was 3 - 4 hours of waiting around, listening to the same three instrumental songs playing in the background. Finally towards the end of the night, we watched them cut their cake and shortly after they had their first dance. After their dance we had their sparkler send off and the night was over. Also, never received a thank you card.

    • Reply
  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2017
    Kelsey ·
    • Flag

    At my cousin's wedding, they didn't serve dinner until like 9PM. I was in my late teens and all I can remember is how fucking hangry I was. They did the first dance and all these speeches and slideshows before dinner and I didn't give a FUCK because I was STARVING.

    • Reply
  • Bianca
    Devoted August 2017
    Bianca ·
    • Flag

    Well this was an interesting read. Definitely want to make sure I don't commit any of these ridiculous faux pas. I think we'll be ok. Serving plenty of food and drink, our venue has more than enough chairs and it'll be indoors!

    • Reply
  • Del
    Master November 2017
    Del ·
    • Flag

    That "prop" feeling. Being told to wear a certain color even though I wasn't a bridesmaid, being herded into behaving weirdly because the couple wants a certain fake candid shot, being called off the dance floor to hold a sparkler for the sparkler exit that takes three tries and then the couple just comes back in, etc. I don't mind playing along with things to a certain extent, but I've been to some weddings that feel more like photoshoots than parties.

    • Reply
  • Dom
    Devoted November 2018
    Dom ·
    • Flag

    Ugh, my cousin's wedding. Outdoor ceremony (on a golf course right by a pond) and reception with NO space heaters or blankets provided.

    No alcohol, either.

    AND she made many of us wait in the cold and dark for extended family photos that would "only take, like, 10 minutes!". Except she made us wait while she and the groom took the same photo over and over for lord knows how long. They didn't visit with their guests either.

    • Reply
  • Teresa
    Super September 2017
    Teresa ·
    • Flag

    I was a BM in a wedding where cocktail hour was an open bar but afterwards was cash. I was pissed because I missed the free drinks to take pictures.

    My MOHs friend is having a wedding this weekend. She posted an open invite of FB (who does that?) and I'm super tempted to go with her.

    • Reply
  • MoreMoore
    VIP November 2017
    MoreMoore ·
    • Flag

    An outdoor wedding at the peak heat time of day, in late July with no shade or cover anywhere near the seats. It was absolutely miserable. And then we went indoors for the reception and low and behold it was a cash bar. Even soda cost us cash, that we didn't have on us. The bride and bridesmaids, for lack of a better term, "line danced" all night and didn't mingle with the guests at all.

    • Reply
  • Mrs.Soon2Be
    Super August 2017
    Mrs.Soon2Be ·
    • Flag

    1) The one time... there was a huge gap before and during the wedding - was super awkward

    2) The one time... the ceremony was supposed to be outdoors, guests were already sitting and sweating, then it started raining RIGHT BEFORE the bridal party started walking. I was in this wedding. The venue had to go to plan B, and because of all the humidity all of us girls looked like crap when it came time for photos. Hair was a hot mess and makeup was pretty much done for. Good times. ---- Also I traveled for this wedding to another state far away from mine and there was such a mix up of my arrival that when I finally made it the bride gave me the only cold shoulder and I didn't even get a welcome basket/bag. (I'm sure none of the bridal party got this) It would have been such a great addition, but whatever. She didn't pay for her wedding anyway so of course she gave two flying you know whats.

    So yeah, I'm not having an outdoor wedding, no gaps, making sure I take into consideration everyone's travel and not give them nasty looks or a cold shoulder (things happen), and definitely making welcome bags for my traveling guests.

    • Reply

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