J
Super September 2017

What about other people's weddings have left a bad impression on you?

Jenny, on April 18, 2017 at 3:36 PM

Posted in Planning 182

As I'm going through the nitty-gritty of wedding planning details in preparation for the perfect day, I found myself wondering what mistakes or oversights my guests will really notice or remember about my wedding. Thinking back on weddings where I was a guest, I was surprised at the things that...

As I'm going through the nitty-gritty of wedding planning details in preparation for the perfect day, I found myself wondering what mistakes or oversights my guests will really notice or remember about my wedding. Thinking back on weddings where I was a guest, I was surprised at the things that stuck with me:

1. The entire wedding was absolutely beautiful and elegant, but the bride looked extremely angry right before she walked down the aisle.

2. The bride felt poorly in her wedding dress during the reception dancing and disappeared for an hour with her bridesmaids. The groom acted like nothing happened and did not check up on her.

3. The wedding party got "lost" on their party bus ride, and dinner was two hours late.

4. When nothing suggested it would be an alcohol free wedding but the couple served bottles of grape juice.

5. When the invitation said 'black tie' and we were the only ones to actually show up in black tie. No one else went beyond country club casual.

182 Comments

  • annakay511
    Master July 2015
    annakay511 ·
    • Flag

    1) My cousin's wedding had a 2-hour gap. Not a fan.

    2) My same cousin did stations for their reception (which were awesome!) instead of a traditional sit-down meal. However, they did not have enough seats for all guests. It was extremely awkward. We ended up throwing our purses in a corner and covering them with our coats, and took turns eating in shifts because there weren't enough tables and chairs to eat at the same time.

    3) DH's college friend's wedding that we were obviously B-listed to (never got a STD and got the invitation only 2 weeks before the RSVP date). We decided to go anyway. Bride didn't send a thank-you card for 8 MONTHS. I think she only sent one after she got our wedding invitation in the mail.

    4) Same wedding ^ dinner wasn't served until 10pm! We had cocktail hour, they ushered us into the ballroom, did all the introduction and special dances, we sat around for awhile, then the DJ opened the dance floor, then we had to sit back down and finally eat. That was obviously a venue error, but I was starving and got way drunker than I intended.

    5) I was MOH and had to sit at a head table. HATED every second of it! Sat right next to the bride but of course she was busy talking to guests who came up to the table, taking pictures with guests who came up to the table, and talking to her new husband. The BM on the other side of me I had only met 2 other times, at the shower and bachelorette party so I really didn't know her at all and we didn't have much to talk about. It was super awkward that all the guests were staring at us the whole time and I felt like I couldn't even eat because I was on display for all these strangers. Plus, DH has to sit at a separate table with my parents - luckily they were even invited and he knew them pretty well at that point but still must have been awkward for him. I couldn't wait to for the dance floor to open so I could get away from that head table and go actually talk to DH!

    6) Same friend's wedding - bride did not provide transportation for the bridal party, and was not told ahead of time. So myself and some other BMs rode with one of the GM. Well, said GM was drunk at the end of the wedding and my parents had already left the reception, so I had no transportation at the venue and no safe way to get back to the hotel. Had to call them and have them come pick me back up. This was before ubers! I would have planned a ride home had I known ahead of time.

    7) Same friend's wedding. Found out at the end of the reception that the bridal party was expected to clean up the reception. I mean, gather table cloths, break down centerpieces, fold up tables and chairs, take down lights, take out trash, the whole nine yards. Bride and groom dipped out. I was drunk, so was DH, and my feet hurt, and I had no ride (see above haha) so I was pretty bitter Betty about it. Again, maybe wouldn't have cared as much IF I had been ASKED or at least told in advanced that I was expected to help clean up at the end of the night...

    • Reply
  • Natalie<3Chris
    Super September 2017
    Natalie<3Chris ·
    • Flag

    Good lord @Hope! How much torture can one person endure! hahaha

    • Reply
  • Kris
    Super September 2017
    Kris ·
    • Flag

    Obvious B-listing. FH and I received an invitation in mid-March for a wedding at the end of April. At first I thought the invitation just came late but then when I went to rsvp, I noticed the card had a rsvp date of January 10.

    • Reply
  • Rachel Langerhans
    Rachel Langerhans ·
    • Flag

    Dry weddings. Not enough chairs for the ceremony (this would also be bad if there weren't enough for the reception either). Delayed start time for ceremony (more than 5ish minutes). Not adequate heat or air for outdoor weddings. I personally don't understand the need or desire to change dresses.

    • Reply
  • Mrs.KatieK
    Master September 2016
    Mrs.KatieK ·
    • Flag

    Oh, one that I always forget to mention.

    Choosing a venue that is not big enough for your guest list.

    It was at the aviary, very beautiful. But the tables were so close together, that you could hardly move. The dance floor was tiny. And our table was by the bathrooms.

    • Reply
  • BlueHenBride
    Master March 2017
    BlueHenBride ·
    • Flag

    1.) Bait and switch bars. Starts off with at least one signature cocktail that is free, but once supplies are gone, no more free stuff from the bar. No signs explaining that just the cocktails were free, everyone is confused whether they're going to be charged if they? order anything because there's rumors only the cocktails were free. I went to two weddings in a row like this.

    2.) Having the bride "ask" if it was okay if she just invited me and not DH (at the time we were dating, but had still been together for a couple years and the kicker is she was friends with both of us).

    3.) Watching people receive hand delivered wedding invites at an event where not all of us present were receiving invites. Later, I was invited to this wedding via Facebook event!

    4.) Being asked to help with a few things by the bride and ending up barely attending the wedding because I had gotten roped into so much work and it turned out they had no vendors (no one to set things up or serve cake and punch). I believe the MOH referred to me as "honorary BM."

    5.) Receiving a wedding invite that mentioned there would be a "wishing well." Basically, they asked for cash with a poem.

    6.) Showing up at a wedding for a couple I wasn't super close to and being asked by the DJ if I would help him by dismissing each of the tables to the buffet.

    7.) Being invited to a wedding via Facebook invite two days before the event...And being able to see the event had been created and other guests had been invited a month prior.

    8.) Hearing the bride and groom talk openly about how they had only asked an older little girl to be co-FG months after they had asked the original FG so the older girl could help the younger girl down the aisle.

    9.) Receiving a wedding invite that's? RSVP deadline was within a week so we had two days to decide if we were going and get the response card back in the mail so it would arrive on time. It was for an OOT wedding.

    10.) Having a wedding invitation for DH and I sent to his mom's house during our engagement?. Both of us had our own residences and the bride and groom could have easily asked for his address.

    11.) Having a bride give me weekly updates on her planning progress including this gem, "We finished our invites this weekend and I'm so tired of people asking if they are invited that I thought about posting on Facebook yesterday that 'We mailed our invites today! If you don't receive one in three days, guess you're not invited!'" I had not once asked her if I was invited but I figured out I definitely was not when I did not receive an invite from her that week. I think she should have saved that anecdote for someone closer that was definitely invited. I absolutely got invited to two showers for her, though.

    I'm sure there's other things, but I think I'm done.

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Master May 2014
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    Hope, you have been to 15 weddings and only two of them had FOOD? WTF? The other weddings served nothing?

    • Reply
  • Katie
    Master October 2016
    Katie ·
    • Flag

    -- Wedding was held inside a country club. There was plenty of seating but not all of the seating was in the main room where the ceremony happened. Guests had to stand up and find a spot to see the ceremony (where the DJ forgot to give the officiant a mic). You couldn't hear a damn thing or see really.

    -- Wedding had a 2 hour gap in a small town with absolutely nothing to do. No cocktail hour was offered and the closet hotel or bar was 30 minutes away.

    -- If a person has graciously offered to help set up or do anything for the wedding and then never receives a thank you is outrageous to me.

    -- Honeyfunds are probably one of the most atrocious things anyone could do when it comes to weddings. I will not fund someone's vacation when I work my ass off to go on my own.

    • Reply
  • Madelayna
    VIP September 2017
    Madelayna ·
    • Flag

    I feel like food will always be remembered at a wedding. And unfortunately there's not much anyone can do about it if it doesn't turn out so great. I went to a wedding last year and it was Olive Garden catering. I've never been to the actual restaurant before and I figured pasta was easy enough but it was all stuck together and the chicken was dry and bland. I didn't eat much that day but everything else was beautiful!

    • Reply
  • MNBride
    Master June 2017
    MNBride ·
    • Flag

    When they run out of wine. I have been to two weddings in recent years that ran out of wine shortly after dinner. Annoying af.

    • Reply
  • R&B2016
    VIP October 2016
    R&B2016 ·
    • Flag

    Once I went to a family members wedding and we had to clear our own plates because they didn't hire anybody to do that. Not to mention the food was awful, so the trash cans were full of horrible chicken etc. Clearing china and stacking it in a kitchen is NOT my idea of a good time in a nice dress.

    • Reply
  • Sara
    Master April 2017
    Sara ·
    • Flag

    The worst things I have personally experienced was a 3 hour gap between ceremony and cocktail hour and a back yard wedding that was completely outside which had a tent but most tables were half in and half out of the tent. It rained.

    • Reply
  • ViciousHamster
    Devoted September 2017
    ViciousHamster ·
    • Flag

    All from the same wedding:

    1. The bride didn't hire a photographer so she went around and asked everyone to download an app on their phones to take pictures of them. Needless to say, the app didn't work very well, no one took pictures of them, and they didn't get pictures of their wedding.

    2. They ran out of food. The server had to "ration" our food and I was STARVING the entire time.

    3. Honeyfund.

    4. We wrote them a check for $200. No thank-you card.

    5. Not enough seating for dinner. We stood eating with our dinner plates.

    Truly awful. They divorced 1.5 years later. *shrugs*

    • Reply
  • redhead
    Devoted August 2018
    redhead ·
    • Flag

    1. Not enough reception seats for all the guests... i was booted from first table bc they decided it was for bridal party after we started sitting. Second table bride's uncle moved my purse (who touches a person's purse?!?) from the seat I had claimed so he could sit. And then the officiant's wife chased me from my third.

    2.) Competing for food. FH reminded me that we attended a wedding that only served passed appetizers (with a cash bar). We finally grabbed a tray from the server and held it at our table so we could all get something. They wouldn't serve us. Then chased down servers to get more. It was ridiculous.

    3. No thank you card.

    • Reply
  • Hope
    Expert May 2017
    Hope ·
    • Flag

    @Kate- it's the same type of people... young and poor and religious.

    And @Emily- yep. Utah, man. Greatest Snow On Earth... and shittiest weddings.

    • Reply
  • STACY
    Super October 2017
    STACY ·
    • Flag

    Dry wedding at a hotel that had a bar. They had the DJ announce that they didnt want anyone going to the bar for drinks and bringing them back to the reception. Same wedding was a plated dinner with no options. Everyone got weird chicken.

    • Reply
  • M
    VIP November 2017
    M ·
    • Flag

    Bad food, no or bad music (only playing current music instead of a little bit of everything) too many speeches during dinner, no thank you during or after the wedding, no seating or not enough during the ceremony, ceremonies that take forever and ever, too much time in between ceremony and reception.

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    As entertaining as these threads are, they will not deter anyone thinking of potlucks/self catering/no food, cash bars/dry weddings, big gaps, friendors, no seating, shitty DJ's, honeyfunds, or no thank you notes are perfectly fine because....

    "It's my day!"

    The people planning to do these things, to commit these atrocities think their guests should love them enough to endure any act of horrible hosting. And they'll do whatever they planned to do anyway. And no one will tell them to their face, but the whispers will continue for years.

    • Reply
  • TamraTexas
    Expert July 2017
    TamraTexas ·
    • Flag

    1- wedding where bride and BMs all wore flip flops and bride tripped on her way out of church

    2- wedding where they served platters of all vegan appetizers on tables covered with so many tropical plants it was like a scavenger hunt trying to lift leaves and peer around palm fronds to find food

    3- wedding where bride and groom had obviously agreed not to cake smash but then he did which caused a huge fight and bride ran out crying. Awkward.

    4- I didn't go to this wedding, but the RSVP stated "return this postcard by xx date if you will be attending. If we don't receive this card by that date we are assuming you are a decline"

    ETA #4

    • Reply
  • C
    Devoted July 2018
    Cham ·
    • Flag

    I've never been to a wedding that didn't have enough food before but 2 yrs ago I did. It was awful the bride and groom over invited and we had to sit and wait while everyone ate until our food arrives from near by fast food. Biggest regrets not leaving when finding out their out of food. I think I was still hoping for a good time. Yep didn't happen should of left.

    • Reply

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