"we're just enjoying being engaged"

@purplekitten LOL!!!!! I won't lie that's went through my head a couple times when ppl have said this.

true story: I got engaged at the end of 2014, mostly everyone knew it was coming. Last summer my mom told me I should start planning the wedding. I was like no.... 1. I wouldn't plan w/o him 2. it would seem odd... I just said yes.... thank you everyone for being here to witness my proposal the wedding is May 1st lol!

I hate that! Some people on WW told me to enjoy being engaged when I first joined. Well when we wanted to schedule our wedding for 8 months later during prime wedding season, I need to plan! I can still enjoy while I am planning, especially when there are many lulls to planning. I'm in one now.

@maybenotmaybe: Why did you change your date if you had it first?

I agree it's a dumb saying. The only reason anyone says that is to put off nosy people asking too many questions about the wedding. Or kinda like purplekitten said, they're not ready to get married. Which in my mind, if you're not ready to get married, they why are you engaged? Engagement to me is just a transitory period, to marriage.

I've always taken it to mean "We don't have a date yet, stop asking and leave us to enjoy looking at ideas for now."

We used it for 3 years before we started actively planning this year. It was basically just a more polite way to get people to shut up asking about the wedding and refusing to talk about anything else/blasting us with their opinions. We weren't prepared to deal with a repeat of the previous five years (we had no "firm" engagement plans so it was a frequent question. "when are you getting engaged?" "are you going to get engaged?")

I TOTALLY think this also. I agree that engagement is just a transition period...I don't understand what's to enjoy about it. I like my ring and all, but it's a step to marriage.

To me, it means "we haven't started planning yet".

I agree that it's a weird phrase though. There really wasn't anything more to "enjoy" in the engagement phase than there was in our relationship before the proposal. Except the pretty ring.

@Sara right! I honestly have two problems w/ the phrase. 1. it implies that you're engaged and not planning to marry.... part of enjoying your engagement is getting ready to marry the love of your life... enjoyment enough 2. it implied that you can't enjoy while planning. I am planning I still enjoy. lol. I text my FH all the time "I am so excited to marry you!" bc I am. The wedding will be nice but its just a day that I get to marry him.

Because only our parents and siblings knew our date and everyone said that since I hadn't "publicly claimed" it, it was fair game. I talked to my cousin (she lives out of state where most of our family is), and she said that date was their only option and she couldn't change it. I also knew that none of that side of my family would choose me over her, since my wedding would involve a 3 hour car drive.

I'm still very salty over the whole thing.

I don't know as if I've ever used that phrase either. We were also a long term committed relationship so the engagement is like (as I think someone else once phrased it) marriage purgatory. Just that time in between the actual marriage part.

And yes, it means your probably not invited!!! lol

We had a long engagement. I like looking forward to things. I plan out our vacations a year in advance so I can look forward to them for a year. When we got engaged, I wanted to really enjoy the planning process instead of rushing things. I took four months to find a venue because I liked shopping them. There was nothing stressful for me regarding the wedding planning process because time was on my side. For me, enjoying my engagement meant that wedding planning wasn't stressful. On top of that, I got to look forward to the wedding for two years instead of only one.

I "enjoyed being engaged" for 7 years before starting to plan the wedding. Not really... it just took us 7 years to choose a date! Nothing has changed with our "dating" relationship since we got engaged. We lived together before we got engaged. How can you "enjoy being engaged" when there is so much stuff to be done planning a wedding?" Probably people with wedding planners? Or a groom who doesn't care about the details of the wedding? With 2 brides that can't agree on much it isn't all sunshine and rainbows.

I guess it depends on what is meant by "enjoying being engaged." I didn't firmly set my date (aka book my venue) until 3 months later. Before that, all I did was start a Pinterest board, talk budget, sketch a basic guestlist, and ask my MOH to be my MOH.

I didn't get engaged and then immediately turned around and started booking vendors. I don't see anything wrong with just being engaged and enjoying the excitement of it for a little bit.

For me, I didn't even want to start planning (hell, I'm not even the one that wants a wedding, FH does. I wanted to get eloped in the smokey mountains) because I knew it was going to be overwhelming and that it was/is completely up to us to pay for it all. That and we just moved into our house 3 months before, I was aggressively looking for a new job, and I just went through an awful summer in regards to my health and family, so wedding planning on top of just settling from that seemed too much to me.

I totally agree with @samantha, i really wanted to time to know that i was making the right choices in my vendors for my wedding. And i didn't see the need to get married within a year and felt that it would just stress me out.

We took a few months just to brainstorm and come up with ideas on what we would want.

I cant say i actually had to use that phrase but i don't see how it can be taken the way some of you take it.

I'm a long-time lurker and finally created an actual account now that we are seriously in planning mode. Coming up in September, I will have been happily engaged for 2 years. I don't use the phrase "enjoying being engaged", but I don't see what's wrong with having an extended engagement. Honestly, it's offensive that people think it's only because I like being asked about the wedding planning or because we "don't want to break up". That's just ridiculous.

We started looking at venues right after getting engaged, with the understanding that it would be a long-ish time before we really pursued it just because we knew we would need to save for a while and wanted to be more stable financially/professionally. Some people might say we should have waited to get engaged but why? We knew this is where our relationship was headed, we'd talked about it, and this was right for us. I think it's silly to judge anyone who does the wedding thing on a different timeline. If people ask me why I haven't "tied the knot" yet but have an engagement ring... it's none of their business. We started planning, didn't find anything we liked so let it sit for a while, saving money and getting more stable all the time. There's nothing wrong with that at all. So I just say it's in the works, but we're not stressing about it right this second. His parents have pushed a bit but I just bean dip them or let them talk it out, then say we're busy getting his company off the ground and we'll announce the date when we have one.

TL;DR - don't be ashamed of a long engagement, "just enjoying being engaged" is a nonsense phrase to put people in their place.

When my FH and I got engaged I constantly used this phrase because I didn't have answers to people's questions..lol

My FH and I did this.... we "just enjoyed our engagement" for 4 days while we were away on our trip when he proposed. We told only very select people and just sharing the moment between eachother. Then we got on wedding planning when we returned. I was told to "just enjoy being engaged" by a lot of friends and family because we jumped into planning pretty quick and I didn't understand it.

Being engaged basically means you are planning on getting married. How can you be engaged but not planning a wedding at all? That is not engagement, that is dating! I don't like the phrase either because I think it is hypocritical. People think they have to move on the next step in their relationship or to "keep their spouse interested" by getting engaged and that is not the next step....getting married is. When you get engaged, you are basically saying, we are officially getting married sometime in the future. I can understand waiting a few years for financial reason or such, but I don't necessarily agree! As soon as I got engaged, we set a date and starting touring venues. What good is being engaged without the intent to marry? NONE!

@angie I don't think ppl are saying it has to be sunshine and rainbows for you to enjoy. My FH and I still date, and talk, and laugh and almost all the other stuff we did before getting engaged. The only thing we don't do as much is plan our future separately. For example whenever I would go visit my family (who live in another state) I'd decide on a date, tell him hey I going on X date, book my tickets. sometimes he'd come (booking his own way), or sometimes he wouldn't. No biggie its my family. Now were engaged its becoming his family too, so I'd consider him first. that's about the only difference.

We're getting married after an 11 month engagement. We are both SO ready to be married. The "just enjoying it" part lasted maybe 2 months, and we then just wanted it to be official!! lol

My personal opinion is JUST my personal opinion, but I think it's a load of crap. You have reasons for a long engagement. You want one. Money. School. Jobs. A specific venue. Something. It's just a fluffy way to not explain the real reason.