"we're just enjoying being engaged"

Please don't confuse anyone disliking this phrase (like me), with them having a problem w/ a long engagement. Nothing against ppl w/ long engagements.

I have been engaged like 3 years soooo....

FH will have a 7 month engagement by the time were married- of course were "enjoying being engaged" but were ready to be married now.

I guess they'd enjoy zero benefits as well, because legally a fiance is a glorified boyfriend/girlfriend. I remember a soldier died in combat,when it came time to pay his SGLI(military insurance) his Ex girlfriend got his insurance money. She was on it since he joined and 8years later it was never updated. (or more like paperwork was messed up)He was with his Fiance for 5years, but they were only engaged and there was nothing she or we could do. If she had a marriage certificate she'd be protected but she didn't. The ex walked away with over 200 thousand dollars (yes,$200,000) and the fiance got nothing. I felt horrible for her, but in my mind I kept thinking why would you be engaged for 5years....

From my experience:

We got engaged on a Thursday night, went away for Friday night, came back Saturday evening. That whole weekend was "oh my gosh I love you so much, this is so exciting, let's dream about what it will be like to be married and our wedding day and wow this is real, tell me the story of buying the ring again, tell me the story about talking to my dad, etc. etc." That felt like "enjoying being engaged".

The next weekend we saw my parents and my mom had picked a date for us that we had never agreed on and felt too soon for us and started contacting vendors without us, even toured a venue without us! I was no longer "enjoying being engaged", I was "racing my mother to plan my wedding".

I didn't want to wait forever to plan, but I would have liked to be able to do it on our timeline instead of someone else's.

@Nay dang thats said and sucks for that girl.

I've said this more than a few times. There is a reason why someone exchanges a ring because a financial investment is usually needed to show seriousiness. Before my FH and I relationship I was in a relationship for 4 years. We were serious we talked about marriage. We aint getting married and he never proposed. Not saying that a ring is an end all be all on seriousiness but if we just went off who's been together longest or words we'd all be engaged at 16.

We have been engaged 3 years because when we got engaged we were only 21 and we started planning and then realized how stupid we were and they we were not ready financially soooo we decided to wait until we both had better jobs. But when people asked I told them straight up lol.. I didn't make up excuses. Now we are officially planning.... the wait made it exciting for sure.

@FARAN I got engaged to my first boothang at 14.. it was a grape ring pop that should've been a sign that it wouldn't last I HATE. grape flavored anything! LOL

@ Nay: that is awful! So sorry it turned out that way.

Fortunately my fw has me as her "domestic partner" at her work. She is a LT. at a Prison, I always worry something will happen to her! She did have any benefits going to her baby sister (who is now a druggie) for years. She changed it from her to me as soon as her sister got arrested. So even though we are not married and since she if considered "federal law enforcement" they treat me just like a spouse (legally).

ETA: And I'd like to thank Obama for that! He signed a memorandum in his term for federal employees to have rights extended to same-sex partners! And now we can get married!

Lol..seriously I know what you mean. My FH and I talked marriage and we both knew it would come before 1159pm December 31, 2014, but whenever I would talk wedding with my mom her response was just wait until you have a ring first. She would not take me serious..that was in Nov. He proposed Dec. 7 and I decided I wanted to take time to relax enjoy the holidays and then hit the ground running and all she wanted to talk about was wedding,wedding, wedding. She was in such a panic about how we weren't going to be ready by August and I'm like Woman a week ago you didn't want me to breathe the word wedding now that's all you want to talk about..it was really the ring that made it REAL for her.

@AG13 thats a good reason to wait, no one is condemning your or anyone else w/ a long engagement.

I feel sorry of stuck since our wedding is not until 2017. I felt like I should be planning everything now. Heck we've been together 18 years. Right now there is some family medical issues and he doesn't want to even talk wedding. With my luck he is suddenly going to say let's get married this year and I will be scrambling

@Angie she was a sweet young lady too. She always felt bad because she didn't want to be looked at as a money loving whore, but he was her fiance and we all agreed he would want her to have it, it was just nothing we could do legally...

Isn't it great! (Obama) A Female Sgt. got married to a civilian woman and because of that her wife was able to get all the benefits any other spouse was entitled to..the cool thing about it was she was a friend of mine and had no idea so when I asked her why she didn't drop her BAH packet she thought I was joking..I showed her the memorandum and we did their paperwork that day! Two months later her wife had to get surgery that her old insurance wouldn't have covered but the Army did. They still bring it up and thank me til this day... and have promised a very lavish wedding gift in return!

@K8D by no means am I telling you what to do. But if it were me, and we were "always trying to find the right time" to get married. I would just go to the JOP, me and him (witness if required) and that's it. And have a vow renewal when its the "right time." At the end of the day its about being married. Which is our goal so I would do what I gotta do and save the other stuff for later.

I actually commend couples that get married despite not the "best times" like when the women is pregnant, or preparing for a big test like the bar exam results. I say don't let other things get in the way of what you want.

Oh I know. I don't get easily offended. I was just saying when we were engaged that long I didnt say "Oh we are just enjoying being engaged." I was like like "We are too poor to get married." Pretty much... lol

We got engaged on a Saturday afternoon. My mother was at my door Sunday, with a list of my relatives , and their addresses. Not even kidding. My thought is that the phrase is for people who aren't planning for a wedding in the near future. A coworker is having a "long engagement", and is at 3 years now, with no date in sight.