Wedding fundraisers????

This is screaming money-grabbing, whereas a normal J&J shouldn't.

@Buffee man... you sure? LOL

I agree with others... I get traditions are different everywhere and I love the nature of the J&J in that it's purpose is to get the new couple a nest-egg. BUT this sounds like that isn't the case and that this is to FUND the "princess" wedding; as others have said... so umm huge NO on that one.

Tacky isn't the word....just plan RATCHET!!!!!!

Im from Canada (Montreal) and I have never heard of this!

Just curious - in general - is this in lieu of a shower?

Ok so I never get involved with these ridiculous post about fund raisers for a wedding but Dang I think I need to have one and save my money for my pocket. I never heard such nonsense before and Iv'e been in quite a few wedding.

For all the Canadians who are saying they have never heard of this, let me state as a Canadian. Jack and Jill (J&J) or Stag and Doe or Social parties are normally only common in Manitoba and some parts of Ontario. They are not common or heard of or done in all parts of Canada.

These parties are where the wedding party sets up raffles, bingos, poker games, etc and people buy tickets to it. Sometimes you also have to pay extra for some of the games. You enter your name for the raffles, games, etc and you could win something. There is also food served, sometimes a basic dinner, plus usually a cash bar. It is to make some extra money for the bride and groom. This was more popular and common back in the day when you would invite the whole town for some fun and because the bride and groom were starting out on their own and didn't have a lot of money. If it is common in your area, great! If it is not, then fine. It is just another one of those traditional/cultural/regional

Tacky? That doesn't even come close to describing it.

How about planning a wedding that's affordable?

What is with all the "this is popular in Canada"?! I am Canadian and think this is tacky as hell! I have only recently heard of very few people doing this and think it is ridiculous to ask people to help fund your wedding. I don't know where in Canada that this is a popular thing but it certainly isn't a popular thing in Alberta!

Hello All,

I am 23 years old and I am getting married next February. I would hope that no one decides to take this the wrong way, but honestly, bashing people for what they choose to do with their wedding and how they choose to do it is completely wrong. I, for one live in FL. I work for the state, and I just graduated with a bachelor's degree. My FH is a contractor with a moving company. The fact that you all can criticize people for their choices is wrong. I actually plan to have a wedding fundraiser amongst my family and friends. This fundraiser includes making dinners and selling them every week. (Ex: bake sale) The profit that we make will go into our wedding savings account. Now, you guys can say what you want but not everyone can afford to pay for their entire wedding. And even so, why put yourself in debt to do so. Better yet, your wedding wouldn't be anything without your guests so why not have them support you as well. It may not blatantly be asking straight out but nevertheless it's help. We can't say that even if we save we won't fall into hard times. All I'm saying is that no one here knows anyone else's life. Yes, I can save for my wedding, which is also something that I'm doing. But, the thought process is, being confident in knowing that if anything else happens (because life works that way) I won't have to go bankrupt or postpone my wedding. As future brides we should all understand how it feels to go through hectic planning and constant thoughts about how something will be paid. This is a reminder that not everyone is wealthy, or not everyone is perfect. My family cannot pay for my wedding but they can support by helping with the fundraising. Any dinners that aren't sold will go to the homeless. I think that sometimes we have to take a step back and realize that the things we do and say can effect others. There is no need to judge others because you can be doing just fine now, but life has a funny way of turning things around. We should be uplifting, not tearing down. All we have is our dignity, our compassion and our integrity. So stay humble ladies, because you never know when you might need to fundraise for whatever it is you may need.

I feel quite confident in saying that no matter how my status in life might change (and I realize that bad fortune can happen to anyone), I could never get so poor that I would beg people to pay for a completely optional party. Basic necessities, food, clothing, shelter? Sure, I can picture that if I became poor enough I could be reduced to asking for help with those things. But not luxuries, which a wedding reception is.

View Quoted Comment

You should only be planning a wedding you can afford. You should never depend on others helping to foot the bill. Sorry but completely disagree with what you wrote.

OP, my jaw is still on the floor. HO.LY.CRAP!

I am going to be the one to ask you to come back and tell us all about the wedding. A recap on that one could help other brides make much better decisions!

View Quoted Comment Hi, thanks for the comment. You are entitled to your opinion. However, I do believe that people shouldn't take to forums and be unpleasant with their opinions about the choices people make with their lives. We are in the year 2018, the world is constantly changing and evolving around us. The things that used to be the norm are no longer, and tradition (in a way) has been thrown out the window. Human beings are constantly in a debate about everything. This is normal. So thank you for honesty. But what people should ponder on is the fact that people plan many things that they can't afford and have others foot the bill. Having a child for example, whether planned or not can sometimes become a struggle to afford. I think any mother can attest to this. So, would this not be the same situation with a baby shower? If you can't afford to have a baby why ask other people to help you foot the bill with baby supplies and things needed for that child? Better yet, why hire help? Why put the child in daycare if you can afford to have them? I'm not in any means wanting to cause an argument, I only ask that people not bash others and try to look at things in all ways. Judging others does not make you (people in general) look better or put you in a better position than them. I wish everyone the best in whatever they choose. Blessings.

View Quoted Comment Except a wedding is a luxury experience not a human life...so comparing a baby with a wedding is a false equivalency...

A baby shower is to shower the future parents with gift not vow to pay for the child's life.

A bridal shower is a wedding equivalent to a baby shower. You pay for one thing. Fundraisers come off really rude and entitled to many guests. I think it's fair to voice this to someone who is considering hosting a fundraiser. This is a moot point because this forum post is from FIVE years ago.

Also what is with all these zombie threads from years ago?!!

View Quoted Comment Paying for daycare because you have to work and asking people for money for a wedding aren’t even kind of close to the same thing. I didn’t ask people to throw me a baby shower. I was grateful for those who chose to, but I didn’t ask for it. That’s the same thing as a bridal shower, which I gladly go to and bring a gift for the couple getting married. I don’t however think it’s okay for you (the couple getting married) or anyone else to be asking for money to fund an entirely unnecessary event. Elope if you can’t afford anything more than the marriage license.

View Quoted Comment All I'm saying to those who were being rude is to look at things in all ways. We all have different perspectives. Nothing will ever change the way I view things.

And I agree, why bring up such an old Post ?

Beats me..

Anyway, you're obviously here because you are getting married or have already done so. So congratulations, and may God bless.

View Quoted Comment If you could afford a child or your lifetsyle you wouldn't technically have to work.. just my honest opinion. People wouldn't have credit cards or loans for school, or debt. If we could afford the lives we live. All I'm saying is to look at this from different perspectives and not be negative towards others peoples views and ideas is all. It's okay to not agree, just be kind about it. This Is all I was saying to those who posted negative things.

Anyway, I wish you the best in your marriage if you are married or are getting married in the near future God bless.

This is absolutely horrible and I haven't had a chance to read all the comments, but I would imagine they are ****% backing the way you feel. This is a disgrace (IMO) for anyone to do, common practice or not. How self-entitled can people really be? oh my....

View Quoted Comment Well according to your comment, I do afford the life I live. My husband and I have no student debt, we pay our credit cards off every month, I’m a stay at home mom to my two children, and we paid for our wedding in cash.