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Expert August 2020

Wedding Blessing Suggestions

Heather , on May 11, 2021 at 1:41 PM Posted in Planning 1 4
Hi everyone! I’m asking for your advice on behalf of my cousin, who is getting married 12/2023. This is an unusual situation, and I might be long winded, so bear with me, and thanks in advance for your advice and reading!

So my great aunt, who is my cousin’s grandmother, has been battling lung cancer for several years now. Unfortunately the chemo is no longer an option, and she is not doing well. My cousin and her grandma are very close, and she originally wanted her to be the officiant at her wedding. When it became clear how ill she was last summer, my cousin was considering doing a mini ceremony in the backyard and just having her reception when she can, but this way her grandma was there to see her married. She ended up deciding against this because of other family members criticizing the idea. Recently her FFIL passed from COVID, and she has been regretting not doing the ceremony because now he won’t be able to see his son get married. So last weekend we had a big scare where my great aunt asked to see a priest because she didn’t think she was going to survive the weekend. Thankfully she did, but my cousin was able to confront the reality that her grandma is not going to be here much longer. Our time is limited, and while she is planning on getting married on her December 2023 date, she was considering doing something like a wedding blessing ceremony where the couple can get the blessing and advice from her grandma. The only trouble is we are brain storming ideas of what to say and do, and are coming up blank. It may seem like a weird thing to some, but we are living in a weird time, and she wants a video of it and those memories of sharing something special with her nana.
I want to ask if you folks have any ideas of what to do, and if you feel so inclined to share your own experiences, we would value that. Thanks for taking the time to read ❤️


Latest activity by Lynnie, on May 12, 2021 at 4:48 PM
  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Do whatever comes natural in the moment instead of forcing an idea. Have a regular conversation where she asks for advice.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar August 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    It reminds me of a Chinese tea ceremony where the marrying couple serves in-laws and grandparents tea and the elders give blessings. Also, in this scenario, the female elders of the family place gold jewelry on the bride, which I must admit is a pretty divine tradition. This takes 3-10 minutes. I don't know your cultural background, but maybe your cousin can video a short, sweet tea party, where she and her FH go to grandma's home and serve her home-made snacks and prepared refreshment and grandma gives a blessing. You take pictures, and frame them for both parties.

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  • Jessi
    Super October 2022
    Jessi ·
    • Flag

    I know the situation is different, but my grandpa died last July after a battle with stomach cancer, we got engaged in October. At the time he wasn't doing well and we believed it was truly the end (he ended up being okay for a few more weeks) my then boyfriend and I took time alone with him in the hospital room to tell him we planned on getting married and letting him know he has known the person I want to spend my life with for the last 5 years. We didn't take any pictures and we both appreciate now that we have that shared memory that is special and only truly known to us.

    I agree with Michelle that your cousin and her SO could just have a great conversation with her grandma and have some pictures taken if she wants. If she wants an actual ceremony type thing, that will depend on where her grandma is currently staying. If she's in a hospital your options are pretty limited and I would say lean more towards something casual. If she's at home, then a small backyard or on the porch type of thing would work.

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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
    • Flag

    I agree with Michelle! I'd try to keep the conversation natural instead of scripting the whole thing!

    Your cousin could wear a casual white dress (like for a shower or rehearsal dinner) and go together to visit her grandma to talk about marriage. If they're writing their own vows they could give grandma a sneak peek, or share a reading they plan on including in their ceremony! Smiley heart

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