Vow renewal Rant and Question

When did you marry? Why are you choosing to do it now? Why are they so against it?

^^vow renewal threads cause drama on WW btw

I don't see the point in throwing another party just to repeat words you've already said to each other, but it's your money.

I have never understood vow renewals. If you've been together 50 years and its to also celebrate your anniversary that is awesome...anything under that seems silly to me

We married November 6 in the JOP and we did it cause of medical reasons. We planned the wedding for this year December 13 and decided to keep the date. Some of the family think its a waste of time planning something thats happened. meaning married. They think we want this for gifts when we dont.

IMO it's just unnecessary unless for instances like kids, Destination weddings or family emergencies/traumatic life situations are concerned.

Other than that, talk to me when you're 25 years deep. I'll celebrate that

If you invite me to an event with free food and booze, I'm there. If you invite me and it's cake and punch, I'll show up if I really like you.

I don't see the point. The reason people typically want to be there for your wedding is that it is exciting to see the beginning of your married life, but that's already happened for you. And it sounds as though your family is not really excited to see a ceremony that doesn't have that meaning.

If it's important to the two of you to have a ceremony that feels more meaningful to you than a JOP ceremony, you could do a private ceremony for just the two of you. But why spend the money to entertain family that hates the idea?

It's just his side not mine, but I understand

We are doing a vow renewal, but 3 yrs after we were married. we were married by a JOP due to circumstances involving hubby's military career. we had no friends or family present b/c we were halfway across the country....i understand some people don't agree with vow renewals, but we want to celebrate our marriage with our families. whoever disagrees doesn't have to come

i believe everyone deserves to be a princess for a day!

I think it depends on a lot of things. Me, personally, at a one year mark (or just over), I would probably be thinking that the couple either a) just wants a big party like everyone else, or b) just wants gifts. I'm not saying that's what YOU want, I’m just saying that from a guest’s perspective, if I were the guest, that’s what I would think. If I got the invite, would I go? Sure. Would I bring a gift? Unlikely – I’d probably bring a nice card or something, but since it isn’t an actual wedding, that’s about it. Now at 15 or 25 years? That’s a different story. Lots of people do vow renewals for bigger anniversaries, and have a “reception” type party afterward. For that, I would be more likely to bring a gift, and it wouldn’t seem as weird to me. Though at that point, I have to admit, if the wife wore a white dress, and I knew they hadn’t had a big wedding the first time around, I would wonder if the “anniversary” wasn’t intended to just be the wedding they wished they could have had. That would weird me out a bit.

That said, I get the whole idea behind it, and I realize that people do it all the time, but for me personally, if for whatever reason FH and I were only able to do a JOP ceremony, I would take money that we would spend on something like that, and put it into a really nice trip or something for the two of us, for us to enjoy together, instead. Just my view on it.

I really hate the whole "princess for a day" thing. I'm not getting married to be a princess for the day and if you're already married but having a ceremony to be a "princess for a day" then you're wasting your money and everyone else's time.

Feel how you want about vow renewals, decline if you're invited to one if you like, but can anyone explain to me why a wedding dress is a wise expenditure for ANYONE?

You haven't gotten a chance to celebrate with your family, so I don't see a problem. Maybe even skip the ceremony if that's not important and just invite the family to celebrate you and FH's love and marriage. Play up that it's late. Make it cute by starting your invite with, "Better late than never, Heather and DH invite you to celebrate their love blah blah blah." Maybe make it more intimate and only invite close family and friends.

I agree with Abby that everyone deserves their day!

I agree Amy! Now don't get me wrong I bought my princess style dress & cannot wait to wear one, but I don't think it is any more righteous for me to wear one than someone who had a JOP wedding & is doing a renewal.

To the OP, my advice to those who say it is a waste, gift grabby etc is that ALL weddings are a big production & could be seen as gift grabby. Why should you be denied that fun day so that others can judge you? Do what makes you happy, they don't have to come.

I 100% agree with Abby.

My husband (yup, husband!) & I were married this past August, due to his military commitment. He was getting ready to leave & we couldn't imagine not being married. We've been together so long, we're engaged for what felt like forever & wanted to be husband & wife. His deployment ended up being shortened & he came home in November. Now, we're planning our "wedding".

We're calling it a "Celebration of Our Marriage". No one is against it, thankfully. They understand that we live 1000 miles away & couldn't ask everyone to be there.

We want to plan a celebration of our love & marriage to share with all of our most beloved family & friends. And yes, everyone already knows we're married & I already changed my last name.

We're planning our "wedding" about a month or so after our 1 year anniversary & really making our first year together part of the day. We're having a video montage of our first year as husband & wife & documenting with pictures for each table.

Cont;

I think, it's YOUR wedding. You deserve to celebrate your marriage however you like. If you want to renew your vows every single year, do it. It's all about celebrating YOUR love.

I think each vow renewal situation is different, there's no right or wrong answer when it comes to if someone should do a vow renewal, at the end of the day, a wedding is about creating a new life together and yes you've already done that, but it's also about celebrating that new life with those you love, and you havenf gotten to do that so I think you should go ahead and have your renewal and to hell with whoever doesn't want to come

We've already stated we didn't want gifts so they know that. Thanks everyone

Me and my DH are doing a vow renewal but that's because we got married while he's in prison and no one was allowed to come.I say do what you want and if people don't like it tell them to shove it.