Vegan Wedding

I wouldn't have an issue with just eating vegan food as long as it's good. I really don't care if I'm eating animal products or not if it's delicious and satisfying, but it sounds like it wasn't. The food being bad and having a cash bar are the issues for me.

This topic has been debated on here before and usually gets very heated with about 50% on either side of the debate on whether serving fully vegan / veg food is acceptable at a wedding. To me, if BOTH the bride and groom are vegan for ethical reasons, a fully vegan meal is acceptable as long as there is a lot of variety and it is well prepared. It is possible to find an excellent vegan caterer. I would not expect the bride and groom to compromise their beliefs at their wedding by serving meat.

However, since the groom was not vegan in this case, it's not as justified. And it sounds like the food was generally just bad, so it was probably more of a caterer issue than a lack of meat issue.

And the cash bar is just awful. No excuse for that.

No excuse for not serving meat if the groom eats it. So gross that there was so much cauliflower too. There are so many other options! And paired with a cash bar too?!

That wedding is how vegan food gets a bad reputation. When two of my vegan friends got married, they took a meat-eating sibling to the tasting with them so that whatever they chose was appealing to someone used to animal products. They felt they couldn't ethically purchase meat product so everything was all vegan at their wedding, but the food was delicious.

Gross. People like that piss me off so much. "Yeah, I'm gonna serve all the people I love really disgusting food that only I like. That's a great way to thank the ones I love for going out of their way to come see me on my special day. I'm such a special lady!"

For some inexplicable reason, my catering company was featured, years ago,as having several vegan menus for weddings (we did...). We started getting calls like crazy, but I don't think we ever did an entirely vegan wedding, not even the one that originally got us the publicity. (That family added a poached salmon. some non-vegan pastas and hors. It wasn't blantantly carnivore; we didn't do carving stations or giant roasted animal legs, but the hosts realized that man does not live on cauliflower alone. They ordered a wedding cake and we brought a vegan cake for the couple. as a surprise.

It all goes back to the basic premise of hosting your guests well.

I've had cold/poorly prepared food at plenty of weddings, but I have only left early when there was no bar or cash bar. So I'm sure the bar situation was most of the crowd's motivation for leaving. There's a big difference between making a whole crowd cater to your arbitrary personal taste or health standards (i.e., gluten-free or sugar-free) and refusing to spend money on an industry that you find morally reprehensible (which sounds like it may have been the case here). However, I will say that if the bride ever pays the bill for meals out at which her husband orders meat, then I'm sure she could've also found the flexibility to serve meat at her wedding. But I completely understand the moral stance she's taking if she doesn't typically support her husband's choices. Not quite the same, but neither FH nor I eat pork and we're not serving it at our wedding either. ETA not saying that celiac disease/other allergies and intolerances are "arbitrary," just that they're restrictions based on individual conditions and not founded in ethically-driven convictions.

If I had been there I would have told the bride dude I'm leaving because you're a poor host and I'm hungry and your food sucks because you have no respect for your friends and that's why everyone is leaving. But enjoy your "amazing" food! You'll have tons of leftover for the rest of your life. Ugh I like want to go tell her and I don't even know her.

I went to a wedding with a vegan bride once too. They didn't serve food at all. No alcohol at all. They had a tiny vegan cake that they cut in front of us but then no dessert for guests. They were just bad hosts. I definitely do not assume all vegans would be terrible hosts but had a bad experience with 1!

That's really sad that the bride and groom didn't realize ahead of time that it might not be best for their guests. Honestly, the reception is more of a thank you to the guests for attending the wedding and supporting the couple. It's completely unacceptable to be selfish with what is served to guests. My FH and I are pescatarian, meaning we eat a vegetarian diet with occasional fish. We, of course, would like things on our menu that we can eat, but we made sure to include items for everyone. Our cocktail hour has a mix of many different types of meats, fish, and vegetables and our meals include the choice of a chicken dish, a salmon dish, and eggplant parmesan. As far as a cash bar, I also do not think it's okay to require guests to pay for all their drinks. At least give them options or make it a consumption bar where the bride and groom cover the tab. It seems like the bride and groom in the wedding you attended were living in their own bubble. They have no one to blame but themselves.

@Alforev when we were trying to decide on our menu we made sure we include vegan and vegetarian friendly apps and our caterer knows they are going to have to prepare special dishes for those that don't eat meat and we have to give them those numbers and names when our numbers our due. As far as the cash bar goes, we had honestly planned on a cash bar because of it being a new venue (we weren't sure if open bar would even be an option) but the prices they were charging were higher than what we had planned on so we stuck with water. The bar surprised me though because I know they are both drinkers and most of the guests attending are drinkers as well so I figured they would've selected an open bar, but I don't know if this was a venue thing or just the bride and groom making that choice.

I remember that O&S.........that was a strange compromise....

Richard Katie made this post, she was saying the cash bar at the wedding she attended was so expensive that she only drank water all night. Edit: at least I'm pretty sure that's what she was saying

@Richard no there was soda and juice we just stuck with water because it was hot as hell on Saturday and wanted to stay hydrated.

@Anna yep that is exactly what I meant. They had juice and soda but it was so hot that we just wanted to stay hydrated. Even if it had been open bar we would've switched to water at some point anyways.

@Richard lol plus it's Monday...no worries

I do think it's a bit of a two way street. Regardless of if you're a vegetarian or a meat eater, your goal should be to host yours guests well. I have a friend who is pescatarian and her husband is vegan, she said she was pleasantly surprised that my RSVP card included a line for dietary restrictions (fortunately our vegetarian meal is also vegan). She said that on several occasions they were invited to weddings that didn't have a vegetarian option, or line for dietary restrictions. The first time she said they just ate the side dishes, but the second time she decided to just write it on the card and see what happened (the bride and groom accommodated them with what she said was a delicious vegan meal).

Whichever side of the fence you're on, you should do your best to provide something tasty for your guests.

A lot of vegan foods are made with soy, and many people have intolerances to soy, myself included. That really restricts the meal options. Many vegan meals are not wholesome and filling, either, so you would have a lot of hungry people. Meat options or at least heavy carb options should be included.

@Danielle this is not a religion that requires food to be kosher or anything else. It's a personal dietary choice that only the bride made, so it's not fair to everyone else to have to eat the same way. There were no other options for non vegan guests.

@Jacky While veganism isn't explicitly a religion, many vegans' beliefs about the meat industry approach religious zeal. If vegan meals couldn't be wholesome and filling, quite a few people in the Catskills, Hollywood and Buddhist temples would be starving to death. As for soy allergies, yes, that sucks and I'm sorry you couldn't eat anything; but that affects only something like 0.4 percent of the US population.

I know this is an unpopular opinion around here, but I'm going to say that well-prepared vegan food is proper hosting. The issue here was that the catering was gross (which could very well be the case with meat dishes too) and there was a cash bar.

Edited to add: There are some religions (Jainism is the first that comes to mind, though there is an animist belief system on which a vegan restaurant on the South Side of Chicago is based) in which veganism *is* part of the religion. Guessing that wasn't the case here, though.

I am a vegetarian and have been for over a decade. My FH is not. I would never imagine limiting everyone else's menu! I am providing a vegetarian option as well as a gluten green dessert option and letting everyone else enjoy whatever type of meaty gluten-y goddess they want. That is poor hosting on the bride's part for so many reasons!

I don't understand the pescatarian thing unless it's for health. Fish are animals too.