Vegan Wedding--Rude? Experiences?

I'm not going to list out Bible verses because I really don't think that's what this forum is for. And I don't even think drinking is wrong, I'm just saying that there are some Christians who do. I can disagree, but still respect that.

Bottom line: I would NEVER expect someone else to violate their personal beliefs, to satisfy something that is a mere preference for me.

I think it's rude. I would be super disappointed as a guest.

I don't know if it's rude or not by common etiquette, but it personally wouldn't bother me at all. It's food either way. I'd just be happy to be fed.

@Elizabeth "Your moral objections are not your guests' moral objections and you should not shove your beliefs down their throats." How is following your own belief shoving it down someone's throat? By that logic, all weddings should be nondenominational. The biggest thing some people seem to be missing here is, you do not need meat to survive, nor do you eat it with every meal. Having four hot meal options is not rude just because they omit certain ingredients. Accommodating a vegetarian or vegan or other allergies/intolerances does not violate any moral conviction of yours, and it is generally for a very rare few who attend weddings.

"The biggest thing some people seem to be missing here is, you do not need meat to survive, nor do you eat it with every meal."

No, Lisa, I think we're all well aware of that given that we're not idiots. You also don't need alcohol to survive nor do you drink it with every meal. But when you have a party to celebrate your guests and thank them for supporting you, it's always best to keep their preferences in mind and remember that your beliefs may not be theirs.

@ALC what does age have to do with any of this??

I have seen plenty of toddlers at weddings as guests.

I will have toddlers as guest at my wedding. Granted the invite won't be directly addressed to the toddler, but their mouths still count.

Food is food. I personally would not condemn someone who felt morally obligated to not serve alcohol for whatever reason. Would I leave early? Heck yeah. Would I be mad? No. I would not condemn someone who empathizes with animals and chooses not to have them killed to satisfy picky eaters, who apparently cannot eat anything unless it has meat in it. The bride op posted about in the first place gave four different options for her guests to choose from. As someone else posted earlier, that is more than you get at other weddings. They are not forcing other people to become vegan, and it's all "normal" food besides the tofu option.

Elizabeth, you are confusing me with someone else. We are paying extra to keep the bar open during dinner. I would never have a dry wedding. But I will be having a vegan wedding.

As a vegetarian I've had plenty of experience with this... My FH is not a vegetarian and my father insists on serving meat but my opinion and preference was no meat.

The thought behind not serving meat is not because it is what they like it is because morally a vegan/vegetarian does not want to contribute to the meat/dairy industry.

Most of the time this is more than health reasons. When I go to a wedding if there is not a vegetarian option (which has happened many time) I eat the sides or bread. When there is a vegetarian option and I don't happen to like it : portobello mushroom for example (I hate mushrooms) I still have this issue but I appreciate the thought and effort to accommodate everyone .

No one will be able to please every dietary restriction or preference which is why most invitations ask for dietary restrictions or needs (allergies ). There are meat eaters that have eaten a vegetarian/vegan meal before. This is ONE meal. One. Not a week, just one meal. If it supports the bride and grooms moral and ethical values you should support it. I've eaten before and after weddings many times but I can't blame the bride and groom for that, it's usually because I am picky !

I'm an ovo-lacto veg (eat eggs and milk products), but my fiancé is not. I am serving beef and chicken, but I drew the line at the pork. I understand why someone would do this, and I don't exactly think it's rude, but I think it's more thoughtful to give guests some options. Also, don't assume you won't like the food- you may be really surprised! I hope you do end up liking it.

I don't think it's a big deal. I'm not vegan, but as long as the food is good (which I've had a lot of delicious vegan food), then I don't see the problem. She shouldn't have even told you - I bet you wouldn't have even known.

I ride the fence with this argument. I agree that it's inconsiderate to expect a vegetarian/vegan meal at a wedding and not extend the same consideration for people who eat meat at your own wedding.

I also agree that there are some great vegan meals. I think that someone who is considering having a vegan menu needs to take a meat eater to their tasting to have an unbiased opinion.

I think a lot of people here need to look up what's actually vegan foods nowadays. You'd be surprised. I'm not vegan but I'm also not apposed to it either. Actually there are few restaurants and favorite dishes that are vegan. Go with an open mind and try out new foods. So many people are within their comfy zone with their foods it surprises me all the time.

@Carol most of the people complaining on this thread probably eat vegan foods regularly and don't even realize it. It's so much more than just tofu and sprouts!

So, I'm vegan and we're having a vegan wedding.

If I believe it's wrong to kill animals for food, why would I pay for animals to be killed for my wedding? People equating dry weddings with vegan weddings are absurd--drinking alcohol doesn't affect anyone but the drinker--eating meat means a living, breathing, animal was killed. An animal just like the dogs and cats we share our homes with. I won't pay for that.

I know many people don't agree, and that's fine. But to us vegans, killing creatures needlessly is wrong. We vote with our dollars and boycott the animal industry in hopes that we can lessen the number of animals killed.

So many cuisines have tons of meatless options--Indian, Ethiopian, Mexican, Mediterranean, Italian, etc. I doubt many vegans are planning to serve steamed kale and unseasoned tofu at their weddings--we're going for decadent, delicious food that happens to be vegan. Assuming off the bat that the food can't possibly be good or satisfying seems really closed minded.

And yes, we're accommodating, soy, gluten, nut, and any other allergies. It's really not difficult at all. Please try to understand that seeing a room full of dead animals would absolutely ruin my wedding. I'm not asking that everyone go vegan forever--surely 5 hours without animal products isn't too much to bear?

Yes, this is incredibly rude. I'm a vegetarian & there is not ANYONE else of all 100 guests that are veg, so we are serving chicken and pork, with the veggie option for me only.

Listen, there are so many good vegan recipes - heaven forbid people can not eat meat for one night - I mean really, people are acting like it's going to kill them on this thread or something.

That said, I'll be having meat and dairy at my wedding, but you can be sure as hell I'm having lots of foods that people enjoy on a regular basis and also happen to be vegan ('cause guess what, there are a lot!).

Also, there is a sever lack of accommodation when I go to weddings or even people's houses because I'm celiac (this is before I was vegan as well). I get it. I don't make a big deal out of it. It isn't rude. It's just food. I don't need to be accommodated, but if you make an effort, I totally appreciate it.

Indeed, you will not die from eating vegan food, whereas I will totally destroy your toilet if you don't account for my celiac. lol! (TMI? Whatever haha!) SO just relax, it's food. Try something new.

These forums are beyond irritating. It's THEIR wedding. Eat before the wedding & shut up, or don't go!

"People equating dry weddings with vegan weddings are absurd--drinking alcohol doesn't affect anyone but the drinker--eating meat means a living, breathing, animal was killed. An animal just like the dogs and cats we share our homes with. I won't pay for that."

So you're defending your belief system while dismissing people who have a moral objection to providing alcohol? K.

Jessica, it's never a good idea to insult the very forums you're having a great time posting on nor is it a good idea to offer advice in the form of "shut up." Just saying.

Nothing wrong with vegans or meat lovers but to me it's like religion; people choose what they want to believe.

I'm sure some are OK with flowers being picked and then left to die instead of being in their natural state. Some couples find flowers wasteful so they go with paper. Although is it sustainable paper?

Or using materials and decor that don't use toxic chemicals or animal byproducts or made from third world countries where labour laws are less enforced.

Or purchase from places that only use sustainable, energy-efficient resources to minimize impact on eco-systems.

Or only serve organic and healthy/locally grown produce/meat.

None of these things are necessary for a wedding but some place other things more importantly.