Vegan Wedding--Rude? Experiences?

@ Elizabeth: If you don't get this at this point (200 posts in...), you aren't going to get it...

I would not necessarily think that you will need to grab food on the way home. I am not a vegan but I have eaten vegan dishes that I thought were good. I would be open minded.

FFS, you can also serve a meal to someone without it being vegetarian when they have no moral objection to meat. If we're not going by preferences after all...

ETA: Rayla, you're right. I never understand hypocrisy.

Elizabeth, you realize that almost every meal that contains meat is served with sides that often include fruits and vegetables. There's not much to support an argument that meat eaters cannot happily and healthily eat a meal that's made of many of the items their meat-containing meal would also be made of.

@Elizabeth. Huh? Dietary preferences do not need to be catered to (including gluten-free by choice), but genuine moral beliefs and allergies/intolerances do. What is so complicated about that?

There is no way someone could only have their allergies or intolerances accommodated only by adding meat though. For that to be the case, they'd have to be allergic/intolerant/morally opposed to eating anything BUT animal products. If you know that person, I suppose they are the exception. They have probably already died from malnutrition though.

I never said that religions don't have prohibitions against alcohol (and dancing, and mixed fibre fabrics). I know that they do, I just have never had anyone explain why, with any scriptural evidence (besides, "The pastor says so".) I realize that religion is, at it's very core, illogical; it's part of the charm, and necessary to its practice, but when people start saying stuff like, "We're Christian and we don't believe in drinking", I am compelled to ask why. Because I've been a pastor in a Christian church for almost 11 years, and a Unitarian church before that one, and the requirement to not drink has never been on the radar. I dislike the often smug attitude that comes with the notion that abstaining makes one a better Christian.

Lyla, that isn't what people are saying.

As I said two pages ago, my friend chooses not to eat meat, but not for moral objections. She just plain doesn't like meat and doesn't think it's healthy. So I provided her a vegetarian meal at my wedding because I know she prefers vegetarian.

I have another friend who prefers gluten-free, though she does not have a gluten allergy. I provided her a gluten free meal due to her preference.

My question was, was I obligated to cater to their dietary preferences and I was told yes. Makes no sense if dietary preferences don't need to be catered to.

Rude

Elizabeth, I do not believe that my position is hypocritical.

@Elizabeth. Even in their case, I do think there is a difference between the two though. One situation is cutting out foods that the guests do not like. The other is explicitly requiring certain foods to be served against someone's morals even though there are plenty of vegan alternatives that could've satisfied the person in question. Right?

Hosts are not required to cater to every preference. You don't have to have lemon and ginger water for the person doing a "cleanse," low carb for the person on that diet, nuts and seeds for the paleo eater, gluten free for the person who has bought into that fad, weighed out portion-control meals for those generally watching what they ear, etc. Preferences=not required. Nice to offer if you know about it and you are able to accommodate, but in no way mandatory.

No optional: food allergies, religious prohibitions, and moral convictions.

@Celia I don't disagree but that's a theological argument. What we're talking about here is conviction. I agree that there's no scriptural evidence that I've ever ever seen in Christianity that prohibits drinking. But it doesn't mean that people don't believe it or that their beliefs aren't deeply-held and valid. In which case they would feel morally opposed to serving alcohol at their wedding.

Yes, Lyla, but the point is catering to dietary preferences and eliminating entire food groups from the dinner when you know that's what your guests eat.

To me, this argument is no different than a dry wedding for moral reasons. Neither fly, IMO. Your moral objections are not your guests' moral objections and you should not shove your beliefs down their throats.

A wedding is more than just food. It's for the people who are getting married. I have a lot of dietary restrictions but that doesn't keep me from going to a wedding I really want to go to. I think anybody who thinks it's rude is being selfish and really needs to get their priorities straight about what a real wedding is. As long as the guests are well fed and well taken care of with the alcohol and drink department, there should be no complaints. And vegan food is very filling. You eat more than just "veggies."

I am gluten free/dairy free because my digestive system has decided to take Away lots of my favorite things... Anyway, with those restrictions I find that I eat a lot of vegan things now. And the choices have come a long way and taste a lot better now, so don't panic yet. (Allergy reasons let the bride know, also so they can let the caterer know from cross contamination reasons)

Rude, I don't think so. Mostly, if it based on their beliefs.

But I would pack a protein bar or two in your bag just in case

MLC I thought you were having a dry wedding? Or am I confusing you with another poster?

This argument is always so stupid.

Omnivores--eat meat and vegetables. Take away the meat, and there's still a whole shit-ton of food they can eat.

Vegetarians/Vegans-- Cannot eat meat or any dishes that contain it (and any other animal products for vegans). If you serve all meat-based dishes, there is literally nothing they can eat. Whether it be for moral reasons, or dietary needs, eating meat can make them very sick if they do not ever eat it otherwise.

And yes, the same argument can be made for dry weddings. There may not be any scripture in the Bible that says "Thou shalt not drink alcohol, ever" but there are plenty of instances where Christians are strongly warned against it. If someone really wants to hold on to those beliefs strongly and not drink, ever, then more fucking power to them. I would never expect them to serve me alcohol. I would never expect a vegetarian or vegan to spend their money supporting an industry that they feel is so morally wrong, just to satisfy me.

Give me an instance, Taylor

Oh my goodness, because eating a vegan meal when you're not a vegan does not go against any sort of dietary restrictions. Unless you are literally a vampire, a werewolf, or a t-Rex, you do not NEED meat. You may prefer it, but it is not against any dietary restrictions to skip it for a meal, FFS. (Obviously allergies are a different story)

I would never expect anyone to serve me anything (alcohol or food) if they truly morally object to it. If you're having a dry wedding for religious reasons then I just don't expect to be served alcohol. I know that's a VERY VERY UO on these boards, but that's just how I feel.

I think if you're having a vegan wedding because it saves you money (it probably doesn't but for comparison sake) it's the same level of rudeness as having a dry wedding because it's cheaper. You're poorly hosting your guests because you just don't want to host them well. Or if you just didn't like the taste of meat or alcohol so you didn't serve them. But if it's a true moral objection, then I don't feel right making someone go against their strongly held beliefs.