Using a "fake diamond" engagement ring

I don't see why this matters. I can understand genuine curiosity if you are passionate about jewelry, but whether or not she tells people the specific information about her ring is her business, and her business only. (Btw, if she does have a stone other than a diamond, good for her! I had never even heard of moissanite until I joined WW, and now I kinda wish I had asked FH for one because I think they're a great idea.)

I'm sure you weren't trying to be hurtful, but can you see how if she were to see this post and realize it was about her, her feelings would most likely be hurt? You're making a couple assumptions about her life. Even if they are all correct, I think we're all just confused as to why you care enough to post on here in the first place.

Basically, I'm sorry you've had bad experiences on WW, but do you usually post things like this? Because even if you're not trying to be judgmental, it's coming off that way to all of us.

ETA: Okay, I guess not all of us. I shouldn't have spoken for everyone. However, I still feel it's not really anyone's business but hers.

I am not an expert, but I can certainly tell a fake ring vs. a high quality ring vs a lesser quality ring and I don't care. I don't think the FB poster has an obligation to publicly correct someone who gushes about it favorably. Those who can size it up, so to speak, will know the score anyway.

What someone spends on an engagement ring is nobody else's business and if you see by the posts that what everyone else thinks they spent is more than it probably was, you have a good eye for jewelry and that's about it.

The only down side may be in thinking the poster on FB doesn't know she's got a fake ring and/or if they were ripped off. But again, not anyone's beeswax and you said yourself that you'd never say anything.

So no, I don't think she has an obligation to publicly state that her ring is not a diamond. That would be waaay awkward.

Usually when posts start with, "I don't need to sound catty" or "I'm not trying to be judgemental", that's exactly what follows.

It is catty, and it doesn't matter any more than people announcing their breast implants. If she's happy with it, happy to engaged and he didn't feel like blowing a shit ton of money (even if he has it) on a ring, then more power to them.

It really doesn't matter to anyone, except apparently, you.

I don't think the OP was being mean, Shanna, I know for a fact that people have a hard time reading through posts and really getting the point, so sorry that happened. I agree with Emily that you weren't being judgey...and I'm pretty sure if you were Emily would have definitely called you out on it.

Anyway to answer the question, I would find it really annoying if this girl does this kind of stuff all the time. Trying to look really awesome with some knockoff purse or trying really hard to do her hair and makeup and nails, etc. Like if she just always acts like a fake bimbo then I can see how this would be annoying having everyone say how big it is and stuff. However correcting someone online might be embarrassing. If it had been me and someone said something like "Wow that diamond is huge!" I'd probably be honest and say "Well actually it's a sapphire which I think is so cool since it's not very common. But maybe some day we'll get some diamonds to go with it!"

And also if it's actually huge, it looks like they were just trying to come off as being super rich, I think it'd be more special to do something small and real (or fake) than huge and fake, I think the fact that it's so big makes it really come off like they want to show off.

So yeah, it's probably make me roll my eyes. Of course I wouldn't say anything but I'd probably judge a little for her just trying to show off when really they shouldn't have to feel like they're showing off.

Eh, I can see why she wouldn't correct people who mention it online considering the number of people on here who are calling a non-diamond ring 'fake' - she might be a little embarrassed that they couldn't afford a diamond and opted for a CZ or something similar. There's a certain presumption sometimes that if it's not diamond then it's not a real ring, and maybe she just doesn't want people judging her fH etc.

I don't understand how you started this post and DIDN'T expect the responses that you got. I would guess that you posted this looking for drama. A few things in here stuck out to me...

1 - You are being extremely judgmental and catty. It's your right to be that way, but call it what it is.

2 - Why do you care so much about this girl's ring? You've plainly said that she's not your friend, just someone you know. Why does it matter so much??

3 - This is a public forum about wedding planning. She's planning a wedding. So yeah, this might get back to her. You are calling her out in public and should have thought of that before posting.

4 - If you hate posting on WW so much, why the hell did you put up something so trivial and tactless? This isn't a mandatory forum, go away if you don't like what the ladies here are saying.

When I wear my long hair extensions I get lots of compliments on my hair from random people. At first I wondered if I should let them know they're extensions or if I just go with it. I decided to just go with it, it's easier to just say "thanks!" I'm sure that's what your friend is doing. PS. You didn't deserve to get so much criticism for your question.

I didn't read this post as being judgmental at all. I'm surprised people are getting upset about it. In fact, I considered using a white sapphire or other non-standard stone for mine and thought of the same thing - would I correct people if they assumed it was a diamond? In person I think it would be easy but it might be more awkward to do if there's a bunch of facebook posts about it. So I don't know.

The only person who is responsible for full disclosure is the jeweler who sold the couple the ring.

I agree with you that it's definitely tacky to try to fool people- she should be proud of whatever it is. It's also possible it's a real stone, and her FH is making payments on it, or got a loan for it, or put it on a credit card. Many people don't manage their money wisely, lol. But either way, it's not your business

I'll leave it at this. In the words of Salt-N-Pepa, "it's none of your business".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i64ONqogK40

Also keep in mind a lot of women these days have never owned a diamond before receiving their e-ring and she may not know if it is real or not. I would never question my FH on if my ring was a diamond or not. She may not care to ask. You are crossing into dangerous territory. Just saying be careful with other feelings, you may not know the whole story.

I think it's super judgmental to assume she doesn't have a diamond. Like other posters have said - people go into massive debt or save for years for the engagement ring. I would be kind of offended if people just assumed have a "fake diamond" just because of it's size. I don't think anyone needs to disclose details about their ring to anyone they don't want to.

I'm going to need you to appraise my engagement ring OP. I'd like to test your waters.

Do you think it's tacky to try to fool people? you've derived that she is trying to fool people because the ring is large, looks like a faux diamond, and from your own account they are presumably not rich...

assuming you haven't seen their w-2s, i genuinely think you should read back your post... in the most loving way, i suggest that you should absolutely delete this. i don't believe you are the way this post makes you out to be... to answer you though, you assert as fact that she is "fooling people" and proceed to ask if we think she is tacky - no. did she say my ring is a diamond broke people? - probably not... that would be a good example of being tacky and fooling people.

maybe those people aren't fooled at all maybe they just respect her financial situation as her own business and want to validate and congratulate a symbol of someone's love/commitment. nothing more, nothing less.

furthermore, there is a ton of irony in putting something out that you don't want to be unfairly judged on.

Actually I find it tacky that people on FB might be assuming and calling out that its a diamond when it obviously isn't, perhaps to get her to admit that it's not. People shouldn't assume, and put other in possibly uncomfortable situations.

I completely get that you didn't INTEND to be catty or judgmental. But just life advice, whenever you have to start a statement with "I don't mean to sound...(insert questionable adjective here)" just know that is exactly what is about to happen. Whether it's catty, judgey, racist, mean, etc. What you are going to say next always will. Even if it's not the intent. The mere fact that you are giving the qualifier first, acknowledges that you know it won't be good lol.

Now if you're ok with that fine, but the know, the backlash maybe be coming. That said...as long as her FH knew what he was buying from the jeweler, then that's all that matters. And if she knows, it would only be more awkward for her AND her FB friends if she kept correcting then. But there is no reason for you to worry about it. Just because she isn't correcting them, doesn't mean she is trying to fool them either. If people assume stuff, that is their fault for making an ass of themselves.

Wow no need to attack her. She posted this asking for opinions not to be attacked. She even said there is nothing wrong with any fake stones. She was just stating her opinion. I agree it is tacky. Mostly tacky for her fiancé just because he could have just gotten a small CZ ring and it wouldn't be so over the top. It seems like he is the one trying to make it look like he has that kind of money to spend. I think she is just happy he proposed and would be happy with anything he gave her which is why she posted it.

^^Not sure it is "tacky" on her FH for providing her with a ring which hypothetically may or may not be diamond. No one knows what is going on between that couple, they may have picked it out together. They may have had a discussion and she told him she just wanted something showy. He may have taken out a $20k loan and she is fine with it. Calling out the groom for no reason is weird.