*updated*Instead of a bachelorette party gonna have a pity party.

Why not have a shower that isn't gifts? I saw one bride here suggest a recipe shower, where those who attend bring their favorite recipes for you to add to your collection.

I'm sorry that you plans haven't turned out, though. Hopefully things will look up for you soon!

I'm sorry, a recipe shower sounds very nice, or a pot luck shower so you can just visit with your friends and family

I am sorry things are not working out. Maybe keep suggesting just a dinner out with your ladies. i did not have a bachelorette party either just too much going on during the summer months, hard to get everyone together.

I've sort of suggested those ideas.... It's hard they really want to go out and have a blast and party and think anything less would be boring so they don't want to do it.

I'm so sorry your friends and family aren't banding together to support you right now and give you love and support -- which is what showers and bachelorette parties are all about. From what you posted it sounds like their ideas are out of line with yours and since you do not want to do what they do...they aren't going to do anything at all. That is such a shame! I hope there is someone close to you might be able to tell about the recipe shower (I like that idea...and they can make the recipe so everyone can taste it!) or maybe another type of gathering that isn't crazy expensive.

I feel terrible for you and really hope that those who love you find a way to celebrate this experience with you that you can all enjoy!

I agree with Reenski - we recently hosted a recipe shower for a cousin of mine. She lives in Florida, and the shower was in NY. Since we didnt want to send big bulky gifts, we had a recipe shower for her. Everyone brought their favorite dessert recipe and make the dessert for everyone to try. We had some wine and coffee as well. If people wanted to bring her a giftcard for a gift as well, they were welcome to. It was very nice, and low key. Everyone got a kick out of the treats! It was SUPER low budget, since we held it at my house.

I know the bride doesnt plan the bachelorette - but if your BP is not willing to put one together - put a party together for yourself. Put a group together to meet out for drinks, or for a lunch at a resturant. Or even for app's and drinks at your house. Do you have any other family members/ friends, outside of your BP that would be willing to help put something together for you?

Well that's really sad because is not about what they want but about what you want...

A bachelorette party isn't all about a stripper.

That's so wrong of them! Have you told them, they can go out afterward if they want? This is supposed to be about you and your "last hoorah" so to speak! I would speak to your girls and tell them, I would rather have nothing if you don't want to do anything I want, and explain that partying is something they can do on their own time at any time.

Friends should cater to what you want to do! If your bridal party won't do it, try and get some other friends and family together! I hope you get to celebrate somehow, good luck!

Sorry it's not coming together. My mom threw me an advice shower and it was wonderful! A few people came over and gave advice. There were a few gifts too, but it was clear on the invitation that they didn't need to bring anything.

Since you tried it other ways and it's not working out, just take charge! Frame it as a "day of hanging out with friends" instead of a "bachelorette" and instead of telling them what you want to do and letting them {not} plan it, plan it yourself and invite them along. It might work! Only caveat is you might have to pay your own way if you do it this way, since you will be the "host."

Awww, i'm sorry they are being like that. Me and my girls are going out for dinner, then we may do bowling or something, maybe getting a manicure, I don't drink for personal reasons, it will be a nice quiet night out, I don't need loud noisy places, afterall, I have a FH and 18 month old daughter, so every day is loud for me I think a boat tour sounds wonderful

I'm sorry! This is about you not them. They should do whatever you want.

Awww...that's pretty lame of them. But you know what I think? I think there's too much drama attached to bachelor/bachelorette parties anyway. It's not 'the last night with your girls'. Your friends are still going to be your friends after you're married (if you choose, ha!). I mean, I was more than happy to say good riddance to the single me, and I didn't care if there was a party for it or not. I understand that they let you down. But don't let it take away from what's really important. You're getting MARRIED, lady! You're gonna have a husband, and you'll be a wife!! And you don't have to say vows to the girls who weren't there for you, thank goodness. If you wanna leave them behind after all of this, you CAN! Getting married really changed my life. For the better. I ditched all the girls (and some guys) who didn't exactly treat me like a friend. I didn't call them out on it. I just silently went my own direction. You'll be alright!

That's sad, boo to your bridal party! getting together at someones house is not too much to ask

What about a spa day at home? We are going to a spa during the day and having a photo shoot that night.

Aw I'm sorry that happened!! Hopefully you can figure something out so you are able to celebrate before your big day!

SHAME ON THEM! It is YOUR wedding, your bachelorette party should be what YOU want. Tell them they can party on their own time but that they should really support you, your beliefs, and what you want.

Thank you all so much for your support. After crying to my two bridesmaids about how no one loves me (yes I am feeling super dramatic these days!) we've decided we will do co-ed dinner and bowling. Cheap and fun! If they choose to drink there is a bar at the bowling alley they can purchase their beverages there