Unpopular Opinion

I 2nd the garter toss...it would be so awkward for me to have my husband elbow deep up my dress in front of our entire family! Plus, we don't have any single friends to catch the garter/bouquet.

The money dance is a big ick to me. You're newlyweds, not beggars! Guests are already paying to travel, etc.

Head tables. I prefer a sweetheart table, so the attendants can sit with their partners and socialize with people they haven't been around all weekend.

Money dance - tacky and desperate. Most people will already bring cash or a gift, don’t be selfish and make people open their wallets just for you to dance with them.

Garter toss/bouquet throw - hate it. Uncomfortable for everyone involved

Honeyfund - if you don’t like it don’t use it. Some people such as myself and FH already own houses and have everything they need - FMIL works at BBB and already got us discounts or bought us everything we needed, including ninja blender, kitchen aid, you name it. I’m not going to register for random crap just to please people. If you decide to bring a gift and want to give us something we will use, hate to say it but honeymoon excursions or money is most useful to us right now. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Cash bar - it is not my responsibility to pay for you to get drunk. If you are adult enough to drink you are adult enough to pay for your own booze just like you would at any bar/party/event. If you have an extra $4000 kicking around go for it but IMO to pay for an open bar is so overpriced whether you do beer and wine only or everything, and I am not paying an obscene amount of money for you to be able to get drunk more conveneiently.

Clinking glasses or ring the bell for kiss - annoying. It’s cute the first time or two but don’t you want to enjoy your wedding without having to kiss every time someone clinks their glass? Chances are it’s going to happen way too often.

First look - I get why people do it but not for me. I am somewhat traditional and want to see the groom react as I’m walking down the aisle.

Speeches- outside of the bride, groom and maybe the parents no one really wants to hear them. It’s honestly just so boring. I think they’re more appropriate at the rehearsal dinner
slideshows- I don’t mind if they’re playing somewhere with no noise and you have the option to watch but when you want everyone to sit silently and watch pictures of you it’s terrible. Again it’s a no one really cares except the bride groom and parents thing

Plus ones - My unpopular opinion is that EVERYONE should get a plus one. I don’t agree with the arbitrary rules people make up like “if you’re engaged or living together you get a plus one” or “if you’re dating six months you get a plus one”. I think everyone should get the chance to bring a date - and if it’s someone I don’t know, that’s fine! I don’t get why a stranger being at your wedding is such a horrible thing. The most important thing is that your guests have a good time, and if they wanna bring someone to dance with, they should get to. And I know it’s an additional expense, but I think the wedding budget should be created with this in mind.

I'm not a fan (and I know this is a very unpopular opinion) of destination weddings and insisting on having a kid free reception but wanting kids in the ceremony.

Destination Weddings- They are beautiful ideas, and I am sure there have been many that have been successful and wonderful. BUT I personally feel like it is way to much to ask of people. Destination weddings usually require a lot of money, time off work, and they dictate how people spend their vacations. I get it, who doesn't love the idea of getting married on a tropical beach with close friends and family. But as a guest, it's kind of rude to require this of people They want to be there for you, but now they have to do so much in order to do so. I just feel like destination weddings should be kept as an elopement.

Kids in the ceremony but kid free reception- Pick one or the other. If you want a kid free wedding, fine, but don't have kids in your ceremony. It's not fair on so many levels to have flower girls and ring bearers, but turn around and have everything adults only. Plus you run into all of the complications of people wanting you to make an exception. Keep it simple and stick to one or the other.

We have been to a few weddings and this is what we have learned...

Host your guests well. Once you invite other people, the day is no longer just about you.

Every butt needs a seat.

It's okay not to have kids. It's not rude, it's the couples choice and if guests cant come because of it that's fine. I wont be angry about it. We have 13 nieces and nephews between us, but at 40 dollars a kids plate for chicken fingers, it's not affordable for us as much as we love them. We are going to do something special with them all the week leading up to the wedding.

Garter/bouquets toss is not for us. It's fine if others want it, but definitely not for us.

We dont care what kind of dessert you have, as long as you have it. We are doing cupcakes, they will look just as fancy and they were delicious at our tasting. And I've had plenty of dry and terrible wedding cake.

Hire a good DJ if you want people to dance. Not one that's going to spew his name in between every song, not play requests, and the dance floor is empty. People will leave early.

Make sure you have enough food for everyone. Whether you do plated, buffet or family style, running out of food is not good.

Dry weddings are fine by us. My FH doesnt drink anyway, and I only drink occasionally. We are having a full open bar though because all of our guests like to partake.

I'm sure there is more but I'm blanking now

View Quoted Comment I've had the opposite experience. When it's been cupcakes they have been delicious. But I've had quite a few wedding cakes that were dry and disgusting, took 2 bites and didnt finish. Guess it depends on the bakery.

I have a very, very unpopular opinion:

I think people get too bent out of shape at weddings about things they don't like. Everyone's entitled to their opinion and preferences (and I know this thread is all in good fun so I'm talking much more broadly) but some of the reactions I've seen across this forum over the last year just seem utterly disproportionate with the topic.

We are all human. We are make judgement calls, sometimes we miss the mark or sometimes we aren't on the same page. I've gone to weddings where I didn't get to eat a meal at all and others where I literally did not have a seat and stood with my plate while FH had to sit at a head table and that's definitely the level where I get upset. Some things are worth being upset about for sure. Treating people badly is not okay. But I definitely am drawing the line somewhere very very far away from a lot of people it seems!

But I've also had mediocre cake (worst part is I can't remember it?), been chilly during wedding party photos, helped set up a reception area the day of, been at a 100% cash bar wedding, contributed to honeyfunds, and I don't know... none of it killed me even if it wasn't my ideal/preferred guest experience.

View Quoted Comment "Slow claps" amen

Kids in weddings. I hate it. I don't think they are cute, they look bored or like they have no idea what do to. Kid free weddings are way more fun.

Family working on the wedding day. They are not your cleaning crew, they are not your cooks, hire professionals.

Wedding funds. Not my job to pay for your honeymoon. Want one and can't afford it? Have a smaller wedding.

Themed weddings. It's not a kids party. It's a wedding. Put your Disney/Baseball/football/GOT crap away.

Tosses. I hate them all. Look at the reasons these traditions started. It's really creepy that we have kept them.

Money dances. I get it it is part of your culture, but paying to dance with the couple is rude and money grabby.

Making your guests open their wallet. Cash bars are rude. You don't drink? Cool. Some of your guests like wine/beer with dinner. Let them enjoy a drink. You are not their parent. Host your reception so your guests enjoy themselves.

The reception is not about you. It is about thanking your guests for coming to the ceremony. Make it comfortable and enjoyable for them.

Wedding cupcakes. They are always dry.

Unpopular opinion: just because I’m already legal married doesn’t make my wedding a vow renewal. How am I suppose to renew vows if I never said any in the first place? (We got married at the dmv after work one Tuesday) I get wording if you want to be technically correct, but you can bet I’m calling it a wedding because that’s what it is to me.

Also cake or cupcakes doesn’t matter just have something sweet, it’s extra special if it’s the couples favorite dessert.

Heck no to the garter toss. I’ve been to so many weddings with it and did not get the appeal ever.

Plus ones. People are very judgy here about this, but I’m not doing plus ones for people not in a committed relationship. There is one exception that spoke to me earlier (like day after my engagement early lol). Everyone on my guest list is totally fine with this. I think this will be six people. Five of which are actually single. They are all cousins, won’t dance, and know most that are there. My brother is seeing someone but he said even if they were a bit further along in their relationship, he would NEVER want the first time she meets people to be at a wedding. At the end of the day, just know your guests.

🎂 I would say at least a small cake should be done but I’m not knocking bride’s who don’t since it isn’t my choice. Those who have had shady cupcakes, just haven’t gone to weddings with good enough bakers I guess. I’ve had amazing cupcakes several times so it is possible. A wider variety of desserts is nothing to scoff at as long as they’re done well. Moral of the story with food, get people who are bomb at executing.

🍷 pleeeeease tell people if you are having a cash bar. Open bar is more fun, but I am fine with either. I would just like a heads up so I don’t leave my purse in the car or hotel.

The dress/dress change- how much you paid and if you decided to change is no one’s business but you’re own. Same ish thing goes for bridesmaid dresses. That’s between you and them. As long as you have solid conversation and realistic goals that they each can agree on, there shouldn’t be a big to do about these things. I don’t think a bride should pay for hair and makeup unless she wants some specific style. I never really understood the whole dress change thing, seems like way more work, but 🤷🏾‍♀️

Why do people feel the need to tell you you HAVE to have programs? They’re all going in the trash. Invite suites too. Go simpler and save the extra $400.

the guest list- do not feel obligated to invite coworkers or estranged family members. Especially if you are paying yourself! All these stories of people pressuring others is total bs. I feel horrible for you guys that have to deal with it. Please get reinforcements and stand up to said person or people. Remember, at the end of the day, you don’t have to show them the list and YOU are the one sending out invites.

View Quoted Comment I always live the MOH and BM speeches. More then the others.

I’ve never heard of a “non-cultural” money dance. Are ppl really just doing it to do it nowadays lol ?? Wow

other than that my biggest pet peeve is all these damn rules!!! Man people just have YOUR wedding however you want it. Black dress, no cake, kids and pets, self serve liquor, balloons, a parade, have your sister walk you down the aisle because you love her, make your brother your man of honor, see your FH right before the wedding help one another get dressed, whatever !!! My only requirement is to have fun! Don’t come if you don’t want to enjoy it! Don’t be in the wedding if you can’t afford it ! Don’t have a big wedding if you need a ton of help !

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Yeah, I don't like those either. We went to a wedding where the bride and groom did a first look. Afterwards, the groom said he wished he hadn't agreed to it. It took away from seeing her for the fist time walking down the aisle.

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You and I are "wedding twins". We didn't do the garter toss or the money dance. We knew from the start we were going to have a sweetheart table. As for our bridal party, we had 4 on each side, so we set up "sweetheart" tables for them with their spouses as well.

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I am totally on board regarding a dislike for destination weddings. When I was in law school, a family friend asked me to be in her wedding. She waited until after her engagement party to let everyone know they were getting married in Jamaica. My cost for dress, travel and hotel cost me $3k. Had I known she was going to have a destination wedding when she asked, I would have declined.

Oh and the kids. I know for a fact some kids who will NOT behave. The ones in the party will. No kids outside that. Too bad.

-Honeyfunds- I feel like there’s differentiation between genetic honeyfunds, and ones that breakdown the specifics for the honeymoon (ie “snorkel excursion” “drinks by the pool” “breakfast in bed” “romantic dinner” etc) lf you’re buying someone a present, what does it matter if you spend $100 on a blender or contribute $100 to send them on a snorkeling adventure? Lol. Honestly as a guest I think contributing money to a honeyfund is EASIER than buying a gift, and I’d love to know I was sending my friends on a fun excursion or treating them to a nice dinner, just as much as I’d love knowing that they used the toaster I bought them. Like I said I do think it’s a bit taboo to just ask for like $5000 towards a generic “honeymoon fund” or to ask for contributions to airfare or hotel rooms or whatever. But I seriously don’t see what the big deal is asking for little added bonuses to your trip. Don’t want to contribute to it? Don’t! But I don’t get how “registering” for a specific honeymoon excursion is different from registering for an appliance.

-Everyone needs a date- people who have serious partners? Of course. People who won’t know ANYONE else? Of course? But second cousin doesn’t need to bring her boyfriend of 2 months when her entire extended family is also there. High school friend doesn’t need to bring girlfriend when there’s a group of 10 other high school friends that he’ll be sitting with. It is definitely nice to offer the option to bring a guest but I think the importance of allowing people to bring dates is heavily exaggerated, and most people I’ve spoken to who are in situations where they’ll know tons of people have told me they really don’t care if their SO is invited or not.

-First look- I’m not against other people doing this, but I’m against other people (including our freaking venue coordinator!) criticizing or judging us for NOT wanting to do it. 🙄

-Asking people you don’t know well, or cutting important people, from your bridal party for the sake of even sides. This is just so silly to me. Have who you want.

-Guests who don’t gift. Ok, I get that not everyone can afford expensive gifts but the way I was raised is that it is rude to attend an event (wedding, birthday party, dinner party....) without giving something. Even if it’s only like $25. To me the act of attending an event and being hosted and then flat out not giving a gift, is unfathomable.

Biggest pet peeve though honestly is criticizing people for how they decide to host their weddings. There are very few things I’ve seen or heard about that are truly horribly rude... most of the “wedding taboos” I feel like are not nearly as bad as people make them out to be. If you don’t like something you don’t have to participate.

Oooh I like this post because I have a ton. Honeyfunds are okay. I'm not doing one but dont find them offensive. Wedding photographers are way overpriced and overrated, I think they are necessary but their importance is overblown. Garter toss is trashy, and your single friends dont want to line up to catch your bouquet. Most wedding traditions are sexist and gross. Gaps drive me crazy. Dry weddings to save money or because someone doesn't think I can handle my alcohol make me mad. "No pay not say" is an unrealistic expectation- you are going to have to compromise with some people. Also paying doesn't give someone absolute control. The wedding industry in general is exploitative and forced people to pay far more money than is reasonable.