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Master April 2017

To prenup or not to prenup?

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Bemyguest, on February 4, 2017 at 6:31 PM

Im not sure if this is a hot topic here, but I'd like some advice... FH really wants a prenuptial agreement. He is self employed (works as a carpenter with his dad) and sees it as a way to protect himself and his assets. He does have them, so its a legitimate want. It would also protect me in the long run- I'm a teacher, so I'll eventually make more than he does. Logically, I can see all of the benefits. Yet every time I think about it, I feel icky. It feels like we're aiming for a divorce. Idk why I can't get past this... Any advice? Help? Anyone in a similar situation?

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Devoted August 2020
Dustin & Ariel · on February 6, 2017 at 4:12 PM
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Definitely been going through my mind! But every time I think about it I feel icky as well. I just hope that goes away if we do get one
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Expert August 2014
Babybunnies · on February 6, 2017 at 4:36 PM
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I'm a lawyer. I got a prenup. Don't feel icky about it in the slightest. Not only does it sort out our separate property v. joint property very clearly, but it includes provisions on handling finances in the marriage. It led to great, honest, open discussions about money and it has meant we have had not one single argument over money in our entire marriage. We plan to amend it later should we decide to have children or should our circumstances drastically change, but I love it and it totally works for us. I don't see it as setting up for failure (I love H more than anything and hope and believe we'll be together forever) but being mature enough to understand that you simply cannot know the future, and having guidelines that alleviate potential arguments surrounding money and finances, which can become a huge stressor in many marriages.
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Dedicated May 2022
Steph · on July 19, 2021 at 7:58 PM
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It’s just a protection of assets. I wouldn’t mind it if my circumstances were different but we’ve been together for almost 15 years, bought our house together, he opened his business about 5 years into our relationship (which I pushed for and sacrificed for) and we have kids together. So I’d definitely laugh if he brought it up now…. But if I were new coming into this I wouldn’t have a problem with it. Having a broken heart sucks but having a broken heart AND having to fight over stuff you’ve worked hard for sucks way worse.
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