To prenup or not to prenup?

@karen that's a good way of putting it

I would do it if either one of us had significant assets. We don't and financially we earn within $5k of each other. So for us it doesn't make sense. I don't see people getting in the mindset that the marriage will end. It's just something you do to protect yourself and your loved one like life insurance.

Side note: @bee congrats on 5 stars!

My favorite part of your post is the sentence "I'm a teacher, so I'll eventually make more than he does" - I am also a teacher and I have never, ever said that sentence in my life haha so kudos!

I think you should do the pre-nup. If he works with his dad's business, I'm thinking he is co-owner or could possibly be the owner some day. So not only is it his money, but his dad's (and mom's) too. I think a pre-nup is kind of like insurance, you get it because its the responsible thing to do, not because you hope or plan to be in an accident and need it.

@annakay it feels funny to say it, but looking at my payscale it's definitely true!

And thanks. I think I will do one, I just need to get over this stupid feeling. Why do I need feelings in the first place?! Ugh!

@bemyguest ha, thanks. I've had them for like a year now.

I don't think it's really a hot topic, and I think more people than you might guess have them.

One of my brides came from a family with enormous real estate holdings, and actually her husband suggested the pre nup. He wanted her family to know that was not in any way part of why he was in the game.

People do them for many different reasons. It's a potentially awkward conversation, but one you have to have. All kinds of situations crop up over the course of two lifetimes, including illness and death. It's good to be protected. Everyone.

This topic has been brought up before several times. And it HAS becomes heated before, mainly due to a few very ignorant posts along the lines of "it's planning for your marriage to fail" or "marriage is forever and there's no way we're getting divorced so we don't need one".

However, those comments have been the minority. Most logical people recognize that it is a smart thing to do.

@Miami and OP it's been mentioned before (I think before you joined) and I've seen these conversations get a little heated but this is a good thing to bring up!

It's a good thing to do. I personally don't have one because we don't have any assets to protect. It's a hard conversation to have but there are really no cons to having one drawn up.

ETA: @Emily basically said what I was thinking.

I think a prenup is totally normal. At the wedding planning stage we all want to believe in happily ever after but realistically it doesn't always work out that way.

We're getting one , we both have property and want to ensure in the event of a divorce we both leave with what we came in with. It was a easy decision on both parts.

We aren't doing one. Nothing against them though. I think in some situations (when people have substantial assets, inheritances, etc) they are a great idea.

As a divorce attorney, I am stuck on what to do as well in this situation. FH has more assets than I do, and has a higher income at this point in time. I would highly suggest going to an attorney to gather more information (what can be included, what can't be-depends on the state you live in). I don't think it's a set up for failure, I think it is a way to protect what's yours and what is fair. I see it all the time in my cases, when divorces are filed people become completely different and spiteful. Something else to take into consideration too.

We are doing a prenup. I own a house, have assets, and as a federal employee have a retirement fund and a separate 401k. FH is a university administrator and has his own retirement plan. Ours protects asserts prior to our marriage, as well as our separate retirement plans.

No pre-nup for us, if divorce comes up then I am going to do it uncontested, I want absolutely nothing but a joint custody agreement.

We have talked about it but aren't doing one. FH makes a lot more money than I do and has significant assets so I brought it up to him as a way to protect his money and his business. We decided it isn't necessary for us but I'm glad we at least talked about it. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it.

We have one. FH makes double what I do and has a potential inheritance that's 4x mine....Nothing in it is unfair...It's just saying I can't go after his inheritance or his house (its 'our' house...But he owns it...So legally it is his)

I look at it as I'd rather have the discussion now while we love each other than If we get a divorce and can't stand each other.

IMO getting a prenup is going into a marriage with conditions. Maybe this is because we are both teachers and make the same but I personally don't like the idea of going into my marriage with an outline of what happens if it were to not work out. But again that's my opinion I'm not saying anyone has to see this my way but I personally say no to a prenup

We plan to do one. It isn't planning to divorce for us, it is a protection just in case something happens later in life.

We are going to have one. He's a farmer with his own ground. However, we are going to work to make it even. You just have to make sure it's fair. If I help pay for a farm, I'll make money off of it if we get divorced, but I won't be able to take the physical ground. When someone owns their own business, I think it is definitely important!