To prenup or not to prenup?

Prenups can, and frequently do, address disposition of property in the event of death of a spouse. Without a prenup, a state can require that the surviving spouse receive certain assets. I know must of us are so young, death is not really likely, but if parents make significant gifts, and one of you dies soon, should the survivor get it all? I just think people should think about things. But JMO.

It really depends on which state you live in as to whether or not to get a prenup; some states already have adequate laws in place in the instance of a divorce. I was gung ho about having one, but changed my mind after talking with an attorney. Prenups do not necessarily hold weight in different states (if you move), so it's really worth taking that into consideration.

Look into your state's law on the subject before you make a decision. For example, in California property accumulated before the marriage as well as inheritance received after the marriage are separate property. This seems fair to me. Fh is older and has acquired significant property; I'm ok with not getting it. I do plan on staying home for a few years with the kids and don't make as much as fh but do all the household chores. I feel it would be very unfair if those contributions I will make weren't honored equally. Californias law works for us because what is acquired during the marriage is community property and split. And, of course, I hope we never need it.

Other states have separate property provisions that may unfairly prejudice a partner if they choose not to work or make less. In which case, you might want one. But if you like the arrangement made by the state, don't waste your money.

I dont think you should feel icky about it just because it's a prenup. But I can totally see it feeling icky if you feel fh isn't being generous or is trying to put you in an unfair situation.

My fiancé wanted a prenup until we actually got engaged now he doesn't care . I almost wanna do it anyways . I'm not offended (anymore) cos it just helps me prove to him that I'm not worried about getting divorced bcos were protected them .

When we got engaged, I insisted that FH have a pre-nup because he had more and would have more assets than I did. His lawyer suggested I have an attorney, too. I said it wasn't necessary -- all I owned was an old car. That was 30 years ago.

I'm sure it made his parents and children happy.

We're doing one simply because FH is a business owner and only my name is on the loan (and deed) to our home. We want to make sure that if anything were to happen to our relationship that his business would be protected from my (possibly vindictive who knows) future self, and that we would be able to fairly decide what will be done with the house. I think its a smart move to make just to ensure that you're both protected at a time where you may not be thinking as clearly as you are now. FH and I try to discuss it openly and will make sure we agree on all points before we sign. I don't think it needs to be a negative thing at all.

We are doing one. We feel that it's better to make those kind of decisions as far as what will happen when you're happy, as opposed to not having one and fighting over everything if you get divorced. Of course it's not our goal to get divorced, but realistically, it's possible, and something that needs to be planned for. This way if we do divorce, it's already been written and signed what will happen... no room for argument.

We're getting one as well, just in case. We're not hoping to get divorced, but it'll make things easier if god forbid anything happens.

It's smart to plan ahead, FH and I are doing a prenup as well. FH has a big inheritance, and his family is pushing for us to get one. I'm completely on board, I understand their concerns. We have a house that we bought together 3 years ago now, and I have a condo I lived in before we got the house, so I'm protecting myself as well.

We aren't doing one. I understand the justification though for those who opt to do one. I will be making more than him, if he gets no OT. The house is in my name, since he moved in after I got it. He will have his own pension working with the railroad and so will I with my new job at the prison.

We are having a prenup protecting my inheritance only. I think it's a personal decision, and I also think it's no different then buying life insurance. Prenups can get expensive though from what I have researched. FH is totally fine with us signing one.

People get them for all kinds of reasons and I can respect that.

That said, we didn't have one. I'm a doctor and my wife is a private music teacher. As you can imagine, there's a big salary differential. And yes, someday, we may separate, but she was there with me before med school, during med school/residency, and will be there after. Getting a prenup just didn't seem right to me, considering I wouldn't be where I am without her. If we divorce, she's entitled to what she wants.

I personally hate the idea of a prenup. Feels like a prep for divorce.

We are doing one. I have been the one asking for it. FH currently out-earns me and it makes him feel icky. However it will protect him more than me. Basically it will say: what started as separate property/separate debt will remain separate. It's also helpful because FH's job may transfer him to another state, so we want to have our current state law govern the disposition of our property just in case.

It's just like health or life insurance. Hopefully nothing happens, but if it does you're covered.

If you go the prenup route, make sure that each of you has independent representation and the prenup is drafted and signed well in advance of your wedding. Also, some courts do not enforce prenups as a matter of public policy. If you do get one, talk to your attorney and ask how courts in your district (county, town, etc) view prenups.

Do it. We're getting one to protect our separate assets. You're not aiming for divorce, you're planning for a worse case scenario. Check with an attorney, but my attorney told me it's not just for divorce - it will also cover you guys in case of death without a trust.

Think about it as preparing supplies for a natural disaster. You hope you'll never have to use it, but you'll be so happy you prepared if you need it.

"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail"

Good luck, doll!

Nope we aren't I'm a stay at home mom with a side business and my FH has said that I deserve 50% of whatever he makes solely because I'm doing the job of being the mother to our daughter .

We aren't doing one, but it's because we really aren't going in with any of our own assets. We make the same amount, and neither of us own much of anything. We have the same amount of debt. We're STARTING our lives together, so there would be nothing to put on a pre-nup. I think if you're older though, and have stuff that's yours (car, house, a large bank account, 401k, etc.) it would definitely be worth looking into.