Threesome as a wedding present?!

So.. lately I've been thinking/fantasizing about having a threesome on our honeymoon and it doubling as a surprise present to my husband. I feel like the option of doing this with a woman who doesn't live in our geographical area would eliminate most if not all of my insecurities.

Has anyone ever had a threesome with their spouse? Did it affect your relationship in any way? Am I crazy for even thinking about this? Please no negative comments!

I personally wouldn't. I wouldn't want to start of my marriage like that.

Heyy, we too have played with the idea, but i wouldnt do it on my honeymoon, thats a time for you two only... Maybe late4 down in your marriage to add a lil fire but not so soon .... well atleast thats my opinion...

You cannot tell people how to post - firstly.

Secondly, I would never do this. Personally its not who I am and I view sex as something very intimate that happens between two people who love and trust each other. However, everyone has different proclivities and if its something YOU are interested in then there shouldnt be any stopping you,

HOWEVER - I do know that someone who does this to "please" a SO and who is insecure it could honestly damage your relationship. Someone is bound to get left one the outside a little, which would be awkward and hurtful.

Tread Carefully - do your research and make sure it is truly something you want

I gave my BF one in college, and to me, it's like watching porn: you're super into it until it's over, and then what's on the screen looks disgusting.

It's fun to talk about, fun to do in the moment, but after, the memories of watching them be intimate with someone else, will never go away.

I'd advise not to go through with it.

Yeah...no. too risky. Keep it as a fantasy.

You do you boo.

However saying "no negative comments" is basically asking people to comment negatively.

You're doing this on your honeymoon... no, it won't be the last time you're doing this... if that's the kind of marriage you want ... ugh, sorry I can't understand it

I feel like you're on the wrong forum

If that is something you truly want, it would be up to you. But keep in mind how you would feel after, especially if you are doing it more for him than for yourself. I know that I would never be able to live with that. And if it's something you really want, I wouldn't do it on your wedding or honeymoon. That is a time for you two.

First off, it's not easy to find a woman interested in a threesome with a couple. They are often referred to as "unicorns" for that reason. So unless you hire a professional, I can't imagine your finding one in a strange area.

Also, your honeymoon is likely a terrible time to have one. You're already insecure about it. And people often find it even more emotionally difficult than they anticipate beforehand. If you do it at all, it would be better to wait until your marriage is more established.

Finally, don't do it as a surprise. A lot of people find it an exciting fantasy, but not something they want to do once they consider the reality. You really need to talk about the details and what you each want out of it beforehand.

I would say that if you are feeling insecure, it's probably a good idea to wait to incorporate this sort of play into your marriage, and especially not on the honeymoon. Perhaps when the marriage is more secure and you have openly discussed your wants, needs, desires, and the rules/parameters of your including others in your sexual relationship. I wouldn't go the "surprise" route.

Don't do it on your honeymoon. But when you do make sure the third person is someone who lives far far away, do it while your on vacation somewhere ....

So if we tell you this may not be a great idea does that count as negative comments?

Look, this is something that you and your fiance really need to discuss carefully; it doesn't matter who around here has or has not done it. We're not you and we're not in your relationship.

You do you.

However, engaging a complete stranger in a sexual act can be dangerous for both of you.

Obviously what three consenting adults choose to do is their business, but I think you might have a hard time finding a woman that you don't know in a far away geographical location who is willing to have a threesome with a newly married couple. And distance will not erase insecurities.

I've had friends who've done this and some of them it's cool. It's the ones where one half of the couple isn't totally into it or insecure that problems arise. They force themselves to be ok with it, because they really want it. But they're not really ok with it.

Maybe surprise FH with some other sexual play on the HM.

1. It sounds like a gift for you- not your FH

2. Sex with randoms isn't the healthiest choice- think about STIs

3. Talk to your FH. A surprise threesome may not be something he is interested in

4. Not everything you see in porn us as cool in real life.

If you decide to pursue this, under no circumstances should it be a surprise.

Have you ever had a threesome before in any other relationships?

I think this as a honeymoon gift is not wise.

I'm not against people having threesomes- but it sounds like you aren't ready and you want to do it to be cool- or treat him- your honeymoon is about YOU TWO.

Give him that gift later if that's what YOU WANT. Because it has to be for you two- not just for him.

If it's just for him- and you're insecure- it's only going to cause a large rift and make you feel even MORE insecure.

I would advise waiting until it's something YOU'RE ready to do.

And as someone else pointed out- I'd find a professional.

You're more likely to find a man down for that than a woman- so I wouldn't count on a woman in a new geographical location unless you're paying for it.

You’ve never acted on it because of your insecurities? And you think you would be less insecure if you were to do it just days after you tie the knot? I will comment negatively and say this is a terrible idea.