Thoughts On Location When Families Are Far Away

So, I'll tell you about what we did. All of my family is from Chicago, all of them. But, my FH and I live near Nashville, TN - while not as far as ABQ, still a good haul. We decided to have the wedding where we live, and whoever can come - great, if they can't then they will be missed. This is one aspect where you have to look at it - who are you willing to be okay with missing? if a VIP can't make the trip - will you be okay with that? I was, and it turns out my own dad and grandparents can't go - but I knew that going into it - you can't make everyone happy
Something to also keep in mind, my mother is throwing us a "Celebration of marriage" reception in Chicago after the fact for all of my family who can't/won't make the trip to Nashville.

This is so hard. FH and I are in a similar situation and just decided to do a DW in Florida. I think in your case, it makes sense to have it in ABQ. Would his family be willing to travel? I know a lot of people who live far from major cities are less likely to take plane trips. If they are, Chicago is kind of in the middle.

Unfortunately, I just don't think there's a good solution. You have to prioritize your VIPs and figure out where they'd be willing to travel. If some people can't afford it, you may want to consider helping with travel costs as part of your budget.

Or just go to the Caribbean.

I'd probably go with a NM location, but I love NM! The first time I went to Taos my first thought was what a great spot for a destination wedding it would make.

I don’t think you have to make it “fair” to both sides. You live in Clovis so have it where you live (or nearby in ABQ, I’m not saying you must have it in your city lol, but you certainly could). I’m sure your family wouldn’t expect you to move the wedding far from where you live for them. A friend of mine and her husband got married in the town they were living in (in WI). Her family had to travel a couple hours and his family all came from SD. It was a lot further for his family but they wanted to have it where they were living at the time. I know it’s not as far spread out as your family, but I don’t think anyone from his side minded the travel! I say have it where you want!

FH and I have friends and family all over the US, and his entire family lives in England. Since most of our family and some friends would have to travel no mater which location we chose, our biggest consideration was giving everyone plenty of notice to save and plan for the trip, if they chose to come. I think our engagement is going to end up around 20 months. We chose a date and booked our venue early, and then immediately let the out of town guests know the date and location. We have been really happy to find out that most of our guests are willing and excited to make the trip! I agree with other posters that you need to prepare yourself for guests not being able to attend if the wedding is too far to travel or if it’s too expensive for them to make the trip.

View Quoted Comment You make a good point, I think I’m so concerned with accommodating a few VIPs (both set of grandparents) that it makes it harder for everyone else. I may have to be okay with them not being there.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for your input! ABQ does make sense for us and it beautiful, I think I’m just concerned about leaving a lot of my side of the family out. We may consider having a second reception in Chicago.

I agree with others. Check with those VIP guests and see what they are comfortable with. Then choose whatever location is best based upon that.

So here is what we are doing: My FH line of work is in college athletics.. we move around quite a bit. I am from Michigan all of my family is from Michigan. FH worked in Michigan and it’s where we met so he has some friends there as well. FH is from Milwaukee all his family lives there we also lived in Wisconsin for about a year. We currently live in Indiana.

We looked at all 3 states for a venue... we decided on Milwaukee because it’s such a cool city and it was more budget friendly. This means all of my guests would have to travel... however no matter what we did someone would be unhappy. We just asked our VIPs their thoughts and made sure they would all be willing to travel!

its so hard but my advice is pick a venue and stick with it because I had so many sleepless nights thinking about it. Now that we have decided I feel so much better! Good luck!!!!